


Pokemon Soul Silver: Pacifist Version (Status Moves Only Documentation/Fanfic)

by CTNC



Series: Pokemon Pacifist Playthroughs [2]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: HeartGold & SoulSilver | Pokemon HeartGold & SoulSilver Versions
Genre: Challenge Run, playthrough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2019-12-30 06:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 57,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18310052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CTNC/pseuds/CTNC
Summary: I think the title sums it up. I documented an insane playthrough of Pokemon Soul Silver the only way I knew how, with bad fanfiction about a psychotic pacifist. Judging by the upload date, you might think this is an elaborate April Fools joke. Well, I uploaded it on April Fools day because I knew it didn't sound possible.Rules:1: No using Potions, Status Heals, or Revives in battle. Held items are fine.Stalling is way too easy with Full Restore and Revive Spamming.2: Battle Mode: SetNo free switches from KOs. Do I seem like someone who wants Easy Mode on?3: I Must Fight Every Trainer I can find.It’s something I do anyway, but here it makes things sound even more insane.4: No Attacks. Status Moves ONLY.No Tackle, No Poison Sting, No sanity.





	1. The Beginning to The First Gym

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend reading my Fire Red play through fanfic first if you’re interested in the story at all or if you care about the story. Because this is a playthrough, I have the in game time for important events and show the HP of my Pokemon. Also, if you really don’t want to read too much fanfiction, I’ve made it easy to just skim through for the battles, but I still recommend reading all of it, especially the parts with Team Rocket.
> 
> URL of Fire Red Playthough/Fanfic: https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/pokemon-status-moves-only.3638769/  
> I plan on posting that playthough edited with just narrative, except for one Giovanni fight that only works in script style writing, so if you want to wait for that or just read this, please go ahead.

Another tenth birthday in New Bark Town has come and gone. The new ten year old is off to receive the traditional gift, his first Pokemon. This kid wants to be the strongest trainer and nothing was going to stop him. With Elm’s lab coming into sight he scowled as he saw the most annoying person in town, Lyra. If she was here then Climmy couldn’t be far. She’s been stalking him since she found that annoying guy collapsed outside of town a week ago. Lyra was just starting started to say, “Hi Dude!” before being interrupted by “Shut up.” He bitterly wondered why Climmy started that nickname. He didn’t want to be called anything by anyone pathetic. His mood got even worse when he entered the lab to see Professor Elm discussing research with Climmy. Dude demanded, “What is _he_ doing here?” The professor said with a smile, “Ah, there you are. Right on time. Climmy’s here to help with a study on how different types of trainers affect their Pokemon. I’ve never heard of a trainer refuses to attack, so I’d like to see how his Pokemon are affected by that.” He couldn’t believe Professor Elm was wasting his time with this moron. “Just give me Cyndaquil.” Professor Elm, startled by the coldness, gave the boy his Pokemon and Climmy had the nerve to ask a stupid question. “I understand why you hate Lyra and I can understand why anyone could hate me, but why do you hate me more than Lyra?” The guy that didn’t want to be called Dude yelled back, “You’re completely wrong about Pokemon! Pokemon are made for fighting.” Climmy nodded. “Got it. You hate me because I exist.”

Professor Elm stared at the door Dude had slammed after him until Climmy asked, “So... What’s the closest route with Metapod or Kakunna?” The professor snapped out of his trance. “Oh, uh Route 30. I have a friend that wanted to show me something there, so why don’t we go together?” Climmy agreed. “Okay, but if you get bored of watching Growl and Harden, feel free to leave me behind.” Despite what he said, Elm watched and recorded the so called battles for research. Every time Climmy sent out the Chikorita Professor Elm had gave him and asked for Growl. The Kakunna would use Harden until it couldn’t use it any more, then Struggle until it fainted, and Climmy would run back to the Pokemon Center just so Chikorita could use Growl against the next one. At one point Climmy remarked at the professor’s interest, “I know I’m being hypocritical, but you have serious issues if you think watching this is interesting. I understand the first Kakunna, but why are you still watching?” After enough Kakunna had been growled at for Chikorita to learn Poison Powder, Professor Elm finally thought it was time to visit his friend’s house and Climmy followed.

**1:15** Poison Powder! I don’t have to Growl Kakunna to death anymore!

Professor Elm knocked at the door and a man that introduced himself as Mr. Pokemon let them in. Once inside it didn’t take long for the guests to staring at what was on Mr. Pokemon’s desk. Climmy spoke first. “Sometimes I have completely random thoughts. Do you think Chikorita would be able so ‘sunbathe’ under your desk lamp?” Mr. Pokemon blinked and stammered, “I guess you could try.” Climmy nodded in thanks and turned on the lamp to let Chikorita try. With Chikorita happily relaxing under the lamp Climmy addressed the other thing on the table. “By the way, no offence, but I hope that egg isn’t what you wanted us to come here for. I remember Professor Elm saying something about hoping it wasn’t anoth- ow. Yeah, I deserve that elbow.” Elm squirmed a little, but Mr. Pokemon took it pretty well. “I have been showing you a lot of eggs lately, but I thought this one’s quite unusual.” Elm agreed. “I’ve never seen an egg like this.” That got Climmy’s attention. “Chikorita, Growl!” Mr. Pokemon stared at him. “Err... Why did you do that?” Climmy explained, “I have a few reasons. If it’s a Pokemon that looks like an egg like Exeggcute then it’s probably a good idea to lower its attack. If it really is an egg then the Pokemon inside might be able to hear anything then it would probably like Growl. As for the last reason... well, I have a reputation as a madman to uphold. I don’t have many enemies, but the ones that I have need to have someone to fear.” Professor Elm uncertainly asked, “I thought you said you were a pacifist.” Climmy’s answered cheerfully, “My enemies are people like Team Rocket and I don’t hurt them. I just mentally scar them for life! That way they think twice before doing bad things.” After a disturbed silence Elm stated the obvious, “You don’t sound like a pacifist...” Climmy shrugged. “Can you think of a better word to describe me? ...other than something like deranged... or psychotic... On second thought, I’ll let you know when I get my foot out of my mouth.”

Climmy quickly got bored of the adults talking about the egg in ways he couldn’t understand. He didn’t see how it could be so interesting, but he figured it was because he didn’t know enough about that kind of subject. He considered petting Chikorita, but she seemed pretty happy under the lamp, she was probably asleep, and petting her felt like petting an oversized cucumber. After forty minutes of restless fidgeting Climmy finally heard something that meant the observations might be ending. Professor Elm started thinking of what to do with the egg and Mr. Pokemon started pointing out why his ideas wouldn’t work to well. Eventually something caught Climmy’s attention and gave him an idea. “Wait, did you just say eggs do better with trainers? Well, what if you let a trainer you were already studying take care of it?” Mr. Pokemon couldn’t think of any problems with that plan... until Professor Elm handed the egg to someone who had described himself as a deranged and psychotic, but by then it was too late.

Climmy and Professor Elm soon split ways. Professor Elm went south, back on the path to his lab and Climmy went north, towards the nearest gym. It wasn’t long before Climmy ran into his first opponent in Jhoto, Youngster Joey an infamous kid obsessed about how amazing his Rattata is even though he’d never won a battle. Climmy won.

**1:19** RIP Joey (Fun Fact: The IVs of Joey’s Rattata are all zeros, I’m pretty sure it has a -Atk Nature, and he still almost beat me thanks to a Critical Hit.)

The kid wanted Climmy’s number, so Climmy gave it to him. Who knows when you’ll need another Siege of Saffron? As Climmy turned to walk away his phone rang. “My Rattata is the top percent of Rattata!” Climmy glared at the idiot. “Why did you call me when I’m standing right in front of you?” The idiot cheerfully explained that he wanted to brag about his Rattata. Four minutes later Climmy’s phone rang again and he blocked the caller.

On the way to Violet City, Climmy checked out the sights. Dark Cave was boring because it just lived up to its name, but the Ruins of Alph deeply unnerved Climmy. Something about the Pokemon that lived inside felt... wrong. Even weirder, no one else seemed to get the eldritch feeling he got from them. It was like that time he saw a Beldum, but much worse. He considered catching one to get over his fear, but the thought of using one against other trainers seemed to erode his sanity. Maybe it’s best to never come within a few miles of the ruins ever again. After fleeing he thought Violet City’s Sprout Tower would probably be better. It was, but it still sent him running back to Route 31. Turns out sprout was short for a Pokemon he had bad memories of facing, Bellsprout.

Hours later Climmy returned and greeted the first sage who returned the greeting with a challenge. Climmy started in a way that showed that he didn’t run away from the tower immediately, by summoning a Gastly, then said one word that for most would mean an overkill amount of training, Curse. The first Bellsprout went down soon after the Curse was cast, but the second Pokemon was also a Bellsprout. If the third Pokemon was also a Bellsprout then the cost of Curse would make it so it’s not an option, so Climmy instead asked for Spite. Vine Whip did next to nothing to Gastly and Climmy soon figured out that it was Bellsprout’s only move. Struggle came shortly after and Bellsprout couldn’t take the recoil for long. Maybe he did over train after all, which made him feel sorry for the sage, but it wasn’t too bad. Guilt or no guilt, pacifist’s overkill is just as satisfying as any other overkill. The third Pokemon was indeed another Bellsprout which Gastly used Spite on until Struggle’s recoil struck again.

**4:19** Curse! I have a reliable way of beating Poison Types!

**4:26** Sage Niko and his army of Level 3 Pokemon are down!

Climmy had no trouble climbing the tower after that. The trainers on the first two floors all had three Bellsprout, but the top floor had two trainers with a single stronger Bellsprout then two trainers who also shared the Bellsprout obsession but also had a Pokemon Chikorita could Poison Powder on, Hoothoot. It had taken a ton of training, but the Sprout Tower was finally defeated.

 

Now that Climmy had defeated everyone else in the local area he felt ready for the gym. The first think he noticed was the lack of a roof. Maybe a Flying Type gym? Good think he accidentally over trained to the point of making Chikorita evolve. Climmy scanned the walls for the gym leader but couldn’t find him until the leader said, “I’m down here.”

**Climmy Vs Falkner**

**5:36** Battle Start

 

Climmy started his first gym battle with Bayleef and Falkner sent out a Pidgey. Bayleef scattered Poison Powder and Pidgey Tackled. With the one needed move used, Bayleef started Growling adorably. Pidgey rushed in with a barrage of Tackles and Sand Attacks that did nothing to phase Climmy or Bayleef. When Pidgey was about to go down, Climmy suggested Synthesis. One last Tackle landed before Pidgey could fly no more, but it did next to nothing after all the Growls. (-1 HP, 45/46)

Falkner’s second Pokemon was Pidgeotto and Climmy expected this Pokemon to be much more threatening, so he switched to Gastly who took a lot of Damage from Gust. (-10 HP, 23/33) Climmy knew this was going to hurt and  said sorry to Gastly as the doomed Pokemon used Curse and second Gust finished him off. Bayleef had to deal with the type disadvantage and it might not be pretty. As she scattered her Poison Powder, Pidgeotto unleash another Gust, but it appeared to deal less damage to her than to Gastly. (-8 HP, 37/46) Climmy called for Growl until Synthesis was needed and Pidgeot Roosted before blowing another Gust their way. Now was the time for Synthesis again and judging by the was Pidgeot was looking it was time for Roost too. Wait... Gust?

Climmy watched Pidgeotto fall from the air and knew he shouldn’t complain, but he had to ask, “Why didn’t you ask Pidgeotto to use Roost?” Falkner’s explained, “That would just prolong his suffering when it was clear you’d already won.” Climmy felt like that was a good reason, but something still bothered him. “Doesn’t Roost have more Power Points than Synthesis?” Falkner nodded. “Yes, but if Bayleef was taking hits that well who knew how many hits your third Pokemon could take.” With a raised eyebrow, Climmy gestured at his belt that only had two Pokeballs. After a brief pause Falkner quietly asked for the badge back.

 

**5:42** Zephyr Badge!

* * *

Going in, you may have thought this seemed like just a April Fools Joke. Arguably, it's part of one. The best April Fools Jokes, besides Google Maps, are the ones that turn out to be real and this is real.

 

**Bayleef **\- Level 16 - Mild (+SpA -Def)****  
Poison Powder  
Growl  
Synthesis

On one hand evolving my starter before the first gym feels like overgrinding. On the other, I didn’t mean to and it was a Flying Gym when the only viable Pokemon that isn’t weak to Flying is Gastly

**Gastly **\- Level 13 - Lax (+Def -SpD)****  
Curse  
Spite  
Hypnosis

Because of the lack of bulk and drawback of Curse, I’m replacing Gastly with Vulpix ASAP.

**Egg**  
Well, I don’t have it in game yet, but I’m going to use Togepi, so might as well count it.


	2. Azalea Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't want to read about Team Rocket, you can skip to Vs Dude.

Staying clear of the Ruins of Alph, Climmy headed down the scenic Route 32. He didn’t have much choice when Route 36 was blocked off by a dancing tree that no one else seemed to realize was actually a Pokemon, but he was going to explore this route sooner or later anyway and it still let him go somewhere. Between the length of the route, running back to the Pokemon center after every challenge, and his belief that eggs based on steps taken instead of time, Climmy wasted more than enough time for his egg to partly hatch into a Togepi. Judging by what the Pokedex showed and Professor Elm said when he called him, the Pokemon was never leaving its egg shell, but Climmy wasn’t about to complain about something cute.

At the entrance to Union Cave a shady man called out to Climmy, “Hey, how’d you like something nice?” Climmy rolled his eyes. “You seem like a trustworthy legitimist businessman. How’d you like a mental breakdown?” The shady guy laughed off the insult. “I’m not doing anything illegal, I just want to see if you’re interested in a delicious Slowpoke Tail for only ~~P~~ 1,000,000.” Apparently, he did want the mental breakdown. “You’re selling Slowpoke tails at an unreasonable price in front of a tunnel that leads to a town that’s known for their Slowpoke Well where you can get a Slowpoke Tail easily with just a Pokeball and a cleaver.” The shady man recoiled in mock horror. “Do you really think I harvest tails in such a barbaric way?” Climmy’s glare said it for him, but he said it anyway. “Judging by how shady you are, I don’t think I need to answer that. Now think about your life choices and take this.” Climmy handed the guy a broken Pokeball. The poor idiot took it and was distracted enough to not notice Climmy pulling out an air horn. At the blaring, startled trainers rushed out of the Pokemon Center to see what was going on and they saw a man with a Pokeball that looked ready for a fight. All of them had fully healed Pokemon, none of them were hungry, and one of them was a member of Team Plasma on vacation.

 

The Union cave had no challenges or annoyances, but first sight in Azalea Town revised Climmy’s thoughts to just no challenges. Apparently Team Rocket was stupid enough to stay around after what he did in Kanto and the Sevii Islands. Climmy walked up to a Rocket, that was guarding the Slowpoke Well of all things, hoping for panic at the sight of him, but there was no reaction. Climmy asked the Rocket, “Do you know who I am?” The Rocket sneered, oblivious to what was coming. The shouting of, “It’s yo boi Clim-may!” only got an indifferent “Who?” to the disheartenment of yo boi. “Leader of The Seige of Saffron?” The Rocket tilted his head. “Huh?”  Climmy rose an eyebrow. “Um... how about the friendly RPG where no one has to die? Herd of Undertale?” Climmy tried to hand over one of the copies of Undertale he had at all times to mock evildoers only for the Rocket to blankly stare at him. Climmy was about as weirded out as the guy that was supposed to be having a mental breakdown. “I don’t get what’s going on with you. How do you not know about any of this? I- uh... Okay, just let me ask something so I can at least know what to do. Would you ever tell your Raticate to bite someone’s hand?” The Rocket’s eyes widened. “That’s hilarious! How’d you like to join us?” Climmy made a rude gesture that shared its name with a group of Pokemon that included Pidgey, Noctowl, and Murkrow over his shoulder as he walked away plotting the return of The Pacifist on the Warpath.

Climmy stopped by the Pokemon Center before wandering around town. Maybe there’d be some inspiration or something to use. The Charcoal Kiln didn’t seem too useful for pacifists, the Gym was tempting to visit just because he was a trainer and it was a Gym, but a plan came together when he met the Pokeball maker, Kurt. Despite his age, Kurt was about to take on Team Rocket himself. Climmy tried to talk him out of using violence, but there was no talking an old man who wanted hooligans off his lawn out of anything. Climmy sighed when he realized this, but tried a compromise, “Fine, if I can’t talk you out of violence, then I might as well ask you do violence right, and in my opinion, the best way to do violence is the way that avoids as much violence as possible. I believe that with the right weapon you could reduce the violence to zero.” Kurt scoffed, “I’ll use a weapon, but I don’t see how it could stop me from beating them senseless.” Climmy grinned. “You’ll see.”

It took three swings of a hammer, but Climmy was able to forge a weapon that he was satisfied with. Kurt frowned at it making Climmy defend the product of his hard work. “If it worked for Moe in that one Simpsons Tree House of Horror it should work for us.” Kurt looked doubtful, but Climmy would soon fix that. “Look at it this way. If my plan doesn’t work you get to bash the idiot. Mind if we stop be the Charcoal Kiln on the way? I’d like to add my own twist onto this masterpiece and I think they would know the best way to add it.” One upgrade later, confidence glowed on Kurt’s face and he laughed, “I’m starting to see how this might work.” Climmy grinned with evil glee. “Now you just need to know how to use it...”

The Rocket guarding the well was starting to wish he’d get some action when he heard screaming in the distance. He lazily looked in the direction of the screaming to see an old man with a torch in the distance. His wish was granted, but he looked around to make sure the geezer wasn’t a distraction. It wasn’t, but the old man was charging at him and, to his horror, he noticed something wrong about the torch. The thing being held with both hands above the mad man’s head wasn’t a torch. It was a plank. With a nail through it. On fire. Needless to say, there was no guard to attack by the time Kurt arrived. With a laugh Kurt said, “You were right, intimidation is more fun than violence.” Climmy bowed even though the show was just starting. “Thank you. Now would you like to see how a pro does it?” Kurt smiled so wide his teeth almost fell out.

Climmy climbed down the well and coughed for attention to introduced himself. “It’s yo boi Clim-may, The pacifist on the warpath! Me’d like to apologize for my grandbro here. I hate violence, so I did try ever so hard to talk grandbro out of attacking you guard, but I not could make grandbro take he meds. It out of his system now, so the old chap is dandy with watch me do what me do. I must offer my apologies for not being able talk grandbro into dropping da plank as sign of passive aggressive peace.” Kurt brandished the plank like a sword, fire menacingly illuminating a face saying that someone was off his medicines. (It’s probably Climmy.) Climmy warned, “If go wrong things do I not can promise my grandbro will hold back, but you don’t have worry about a single little thing. Things hasn’t gone wrong for the pacifist on the warpath yet. Oh, how I wish I could come close to saying the same about you though...” A thought distracted Climmy, “Wait, I don’t wish that, but I digress, at least you don’t have to worry about my beloved grandbro here. Please do worry though, it more rational then not worry and I like smelling your fear.” Climmy sniffed loudly and hung his tongue out as he exhaled pretending to savor the smell. The operation’s leader stepped toward the one that had shown that he was the one off his meds. “I don’t know what you think you are, but I’m Excusive Proton of Team Rocket, the infamous group of gangsters. You should go home before you get hurt.”  Climmy tilted his head. “If you know what I think I are then you’d be afraid. You is the one that should go home. G’day.” Proton was starting to get annoyed. “Get this twerp out’a here.” Climmy agreed. “Yes, get that twerp out’a here.” To his satisfaction, there was an eye twitch in the direction he was pointing. The Rocket grunts gathered around Climmy to challenge him. Climmy sighed. “I’d like to challenge you too, but didn’t you hear us? The. Twerp.” He pointed harder at Proton with the last two words.

Team Rocket put up the amount of resistance Climmy expected, almost none. After he got done with the grunts he turned to Proton and asked about his plan. “Are those all the town’s Slowpoke?” Proton grunted, “Yeah, so?” Climmy made sure he was hearing the plan right, “All the Slowpoke in Azalea Town.” Proton sneered, “Yeah, your point?” Climmy continued. “Then you-” his phone rang. “Oh, it’s Lyra... Stop stalking me! Where was I?” Proton reminded him, “You were asking about Slowpoke.” Climmy perked up. “Oh yeah, thanks. Then you hid in their famous Slowpoke Well where there are way more Slowpoke than the rest of the town combined.” Proton’s glare somehow rivaled Climmy’s in lethality, but Climmy ignored it. “Seriously, watch this.” Climmy tossed a Pokeball over his shoulder. “And if you listen closely for a click... I just caught a Slowpoke.” Proton growled, “You have some nerve, kid.” Climmy tossed two more Pokeballs. “...Two more clicks, two more Slowpoke.” Proton started to show the anger Climmy had been waiting for. “This well’s going to be your grave.” Climmy feigned sadness. “No Raticate have bited my hands yet, so I has hoped that Team Rocket had learned from their mistakes. Was I mistaken about the mistakes and should prepare for more mistakes?” Proton radiated hatred. “You’re the only one that’s made mistakes.” Climmy started showing his psychotic glee. “Oh how so very wrong you is, good madam. Yo boi Clim-may, the pacifist on the warpath and he going to enjoy round two of Team Rocket. This ain’t me first time destroying you! The idiot that had the good brilliant idea of reviving Team Rock Boys is in for some sicknasty psychological torture!”

When Climmy pulled out his phone and played Spear of Justice, Proton should have known he was in trouble. When Climmy started beatboxing and breakdancing, Proton should have known he was in trouble. When Climmy took down his Zubat without attacking, Proton should have known he was in trouble. When Climmy took down his Koffing without attacking, he started to think he might be in trouble. He stared in disbelief as Climmy turned off the music and bowed then knew he was in trouble when he was caught in a bug net from behind. How’s the town gym leader know they were here? Climmy was apparently wondering the same thing. “Grandbro, did you call her? Do you even get reception down here?” Kurt laughed, “I didn’t know I could get reception down here until you got your call. That’s when I started calling Bugsy. He’s a tough guy.” Climmy said to the gym leader in awkward panic, “He? Oh! If you want to kill me you’ll have a chance when I come by your gym.” Bugsy shrugged it off. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not the first time it happened.”

 

Dude was annoyed that the gym leader wasn’t at the gym, but not as annoyed as he would be when a fleeing Rocket ran into him. Dude demanded, “What’s your problem!” Between panting the Rocket gasped, “running... for life...” Dude was not in the mood for nonsense. “You can’t be serious...” The Rocket whimpered at the sight of something irritating. “Hey Dude, did you know Team Rocket is afraid of pacifists?” Dude needed a punching bag.

 **Vs Dude** (Wasn’t expecting this battle yet so I didn’t get the start time)

Climmy started by sending in Togepi, but when Dude sent in Gastly Climmy switched to his own Gastly. Spite was used during the switch and it failed, but it worked the second time when Climmy’s Gastly used Curse. Climmy’s Gastly followed up with Hypnosis before being switched with Togepi again. When Dude’s Gastly woke up it knocked itself out with Curse.

Dude summoned his starter, Quilava. Climmy couldn’t let Togepi stay in because of Curse, but Bayleef had a bad mach up and Gastly would be very good if Dude had a second Poison Type. Climmy decided on Gastly betting on Dude having type variety. A Smokescreen blinded Gastly when he was being sent out and before Curse could be used Ember knocked him out. Expecting the worst, Climmy released Bayleef and called for Poison Powder. Quilava tried to make it miss with Smokescreen, but still got poisoned. Not seeing anything else to do, Bayleef set up Reflect and started Growling. For some reason Climmy couldn’t figure out, Dude ordered Quilava to use Smokescreen and Leer, but never Ember, making Climmy jokingly wonder if Dude was related to Giovanni when Quilava fainted.

Climmy nearly face palmed about letting Gastly faint when Dude’s final Pokemon was revealed to be Zubat. The only way to win was six Flashes, three Charms, and wait for Struggle. Togepi came close to defeat, but managed to pull off every Flash. Climmy didn’t know what annoyed Dude more, the plan taking forever, or when he ordered a stromboli in the middle of the so called battle.

 **9:06** Beat Dude

Dude’s face was as red as his hair. “I refuse to believe anyone pathetic as you can beat anyone!” With that remark he stomped off.

 

Bugsy stood with his net held high and his challenger jokingly acted afraid. “Please put the net down. You must be mildly annoyed after I guessed your gender wrong and I’ve seen what you can do with it. I don’t want any trouble... well, I want you to fight me, but other than that...”

 **9:30** Vs Bugsy

Climmy lead with Togepi because he knew Bugsy should have a Bug/Poison Type, making Gastly needed later, and the gym leader started with Scyther. Sans would approve Bugsy of starting with the most powerful Pokemon. Judging by the first move of Focus Energy, Bugsy was going to try to end this before it begins. Togepi used Sweet Kiss making Scyther hurt itself while Togepi started weakening it with Charm. It wouldn’t stop a Critical Hit from being an OHKO, but it was enough to help endure everything else. Scyther snapped out of confusion, Leered at Togepi, and got blinded by Flash for that mean look. Scyther kept on using Leer while Togepi used Flash and Charm and eventually Scyther went for Quick Attack. (-7 HP, 35/42) Togepi was hit by another before he could Yawn, (-8 HP, 27/42) but didn’t take any more before Scyther fell asleep. Climmy was worried about the defense drops from Leer, so he switched to Bayleef who set up Reflect and scattered Poison Powder as Scyther was waking up. Scyther’s attacks missed and Bayleef’s moves did nothing but make Climmy consider ordering dinner. Scyther had only landed one Leer and was about to go down when Bugsy used a Super Potion and Scyther was down to half health before an attack finally hit, U-turn. Scyther returned to his Pokeball and Climmy knew he’d be facing a weakened but still full power Scyther later.

Kakunna was sent in from Scyther’s U-turn and took the Growl that was meant to do nothing in Scyther’s direction. Now that the Poison Type was here Climmy switched to Gastly to use Curse. Kakunna could do almost nothing to Gastly, and when Climmy switched to Togepi to get him some experience he saw that it wasn’t a type advantage causing little damage to be taken. Kakunna’s just that weak. (-1 HP, 26/42) Planning for Scyther’s return, Climmy switched to Bayleef again who took two pathetic hits while healing with Synthesis and setting up Reflect. Kakunna didn’t seem to do anything to signify that it couldn’t fight anymore, but Bugsy seemed to think Kakunna had reached that point.

Scyther was resummoned and Climmy called for Synthesis predicting U-turn, but Focus Energy was used instead. Climmy suggested Growl while Scyther lashed out with two Quick Attacks then Climmy thought it was safe to switch to Togepi, but a Critical Hit U-turn begged to differ with a knockout.

U-turn made Bugsy switch to Metapod and Climmy summoned Bayleef who started with Poison Powder. Climmy then remembered the ability Shed Skin and switched to Gastly for Curse. The second Curse made Gastly go down, but Bayleef had a good chance to endure the rest.

When Metapod went down Scyther was called for his last stand. Bayleef used Growl but took a nasty U-turn first. Climmy had lapse of concentration couldn’t tell much damage that had done, (Down to 21/56) but he thought Bayleef could endure another. To his shock, he has miscalculated and Bayleef fell.

Bugsy looked pleased with his victory, but Climmy told him to wait a moment and Scyther fell to poison. Bugsy was still happy with a tie and Climmy almost accepted it, but then he remembered something stupid. He searched his backpack for his Master Ball. “You have no idea how mad I was when this Rattata crawled in my bag.” Climmy sent out the Rattata and Bugsy was not so happy about his loss.

 **9:44** Insect Badge

* * *

 **Bayleef - Level 20 - Mild (+SpA -Def)**  
Poison Powder  
Growl  
Synthesis  
Reflect

On my normal play through: This starter SUCKS!  
On this play through: This starter RULES!

 **Gastly - Level 15 - Lax (+Def -SpD)**  
Curse  
Spite  
Hypnosis

Exp would be wasted on a Pokemon I’m boxing soon, so I let him KO himself with Curse. (I like to think I’m a good person, but sometimes it’s obvious that I’m not.)

 **Togepi - Level 16 - Impish (+Def -SpA)**  
Sweet Kiss  
Charm  
Yawn  
Flash I’ve been sending Togepi in every “battle” to drain Exp from other Pokemon. I have a good reason.

 

 **Rattata- Level 6**  
Rock Smash  
Cut  
(Headbutt soon) She has the highest battles won to battles used in ratio with 1-0. If that doesn’t make her the MVP of the run then I don’t know what does.


	3. Goldenrod City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's enough HP changes that I can't put it all in the "battle" then it will be marked with an asterisk and HP changes will be listed in the end notes. Also, arrows mean there were end of turn effects like Leech Seed or a Sandstorm.

In Ilex Forest Climmy heard a guy that sounded like he probably had head trauma yelling “Headbutt!” followed by a skull against tree sound. He yelled and bashed over and over and the path to Goldenrod City brought Climmy close to the sounds. The closer he came, the more he saw Pokemon running away. At one point a fleeing Pokemon jumping out of the bushes knocked him over. A few thinks spilled out of his bag and Climmy started cleaning up, starting with dangerous stuff like his chainsaw. When another fleeing Pokemon hopped onto one of his spilled Pokeballs Climmy watched in disbelief as the Pokeball shook and his jaw dropped at the clicking that meant the Pokemon was caught. Climmy let the Pokemon out to see what it was and was pretty happy to see a Pineco. He still felt bad about catching it in an unintentional and dishonest feeling way, so he asked if Pineco wanted to come with him or stay in the forest. Pineco thought Climmy seemed less insane than that other human, so he decided to stay.

Climmy’s stalker ambushed him on Route 34 and ignored his radiating annoyance. Lyra dragged him to the daycare center because her grandparents worked there. Her grandmother asked if he was Lyra’s boyfriend and Climmy cheerfully stated the relationship status. “If by boyfriend you mean stalking victim, then yes! We’re practically married.” It was amazing how much Lyra could blush.

The daycare center had been finding eggs recently, but nothing else worth talking about happened there. Nope! Nothing at all. Leech Seed is a Level Up move for Bayleef that he learned it by Level Up, and he was always male. Oh, and Pineco knew Toxic Spikes when I caught it. That wasn’t an egg move ether. Stop judging me!

In the Goldenrod Mall a clerk saw shopper admiring silver TMs and she couldn’t help but comment, “You have a good eye. Who doesn’t love Hyper Beam?” The shopper looked at her as though he didn’t know what she was talking about. “Uh... Hyper Beam is awesome and all, but I was looking at the TMs to the right.” She turned to the full case of dusty TMs. “You want Protect?” The shopper nodded vigorously. “Some people think the best offense is a good defense and they have a good point, but they’re wrong. The best offence is none.” The cleric wondered why she always gets the crazy customers.

With his shopping done Climmy crossed the road to check out the Game Corner, but he was unimpressed when the man in charge told him it had Voltorb Flip instead of Team Rocket’s apparently broken slot machines that tend to hit the jackpot a lot. “I’ve heard about this game. It’s supposedly a puzzle game but requires more luck than ski- is that TM 44 Rest?” The man blinked. “Yes, but people usually get more excited about TMs 13, 24, and 35. Don’t you-” Climmy’s eyes widened at something else, “Wide Lenses for 1000 Coins each!” The man sighed. “I get that a lot. I guess they’re a bit expen-” “Cheap! So Cheap!” The man was starting to get confused. “Uhh... what?” Climmy sat down and demanded, “Let’s play.” When Climmy left the sun had set, but he had three Rest TMs, four Wide Lenses, one of each prize Pokemon, and a few thousand leftover coins.

Climmy also explored Route 35 and the part of Route 36 on this side of the so called dancing tree before challenging Goldenrod’s gym and found a Pokemon he really wanted but had been unable to find in Kanto for some reason, Vulpix. For him, it was a Pokemon to die for because Vulpix learns Will-o-Wisp. He hurled a Pokeball at the Vulpix, but it broke out and used Roar to escape. Climmy was disappointed, but he figured that couldn’t have been the only Vulpix in the area. It didn’t take long for Climmy to find another and he had better luck this time. With the second Vulpix captured Climmy went mad with power. He no longer needed to use confusion and prayers to face Poison Types. He was invincible!

**17:06** Vulpix! Dreams do come true! :D

Climmy was starting to wonder why he couldn’t find any Growlithe when realized the “dancing tree” had stopped him from catching a Vulpix earlier. Petty vengeance was sworn that day for the slight injustice of stopping a trainer from catching a Pokemon he wanted. Luckily for the tree, Climmy had more important things to worry about.

 

When Climmy finally challenged the gym its leader Whitney struck him as an annoy over the top shallow girly girl anime character. This was going to be easy if her skill was as bad as her first impression.

**19:41** Climmy Vs Whitney

Whitney called out Clefairy and Climmy lead with what he thought would often be his lead, Pineco. When Climmy asked for Toxic Spikes, Clefairy used Mimic. Pineco was slower so Mimic failed, but Climmy did not want Clefairy getting Toxic Spikes, so he returned Pineco. As Climmy summoned Bayleef Clefairy used Metronome for the Attack Order. Despite being a powerful super effective move, it didn’t do much, (-14 HP, 34/57) so Climmy felt completely safe to call for Leech Seed. Clefairy used Metronome again, this time getting Sleep Powder, and followed up with Mimic, which failed because Climmy was switching to Pineco. Pineco took three hits from Double Slap while laying another layer of Toxic Spikes and Leech Seed healed two slaps worth of damage. Instead of switching, Climmy realized something he should have realized earlier, Protect could prevent Mimic from copying Toxic Spikes. Climmy considered having Vulpix use Roar twice to badly poison Clefairy, but he decided it wasn’t worth it and told Pineco to keep using Protect. It didn’t matter if Protect failed when Clefairy couldn’t do much anyway. As time passed Whitney used a Super Potion and when Pineco ran out of Power Point for Protect Climmy switched back to Bayleef. To Climmy’s amusement Clefairy just happened to get Poison Powder from Metronome that was blocked by Bayleef’s sleep. A Metronome’s Triple Kick and two slaps from Double Slap both did just enough damage to cancel out Leech Seed and before a third attack could happen Bayleef woke up and used Grass Whistle to make Clefairy go down in her sleep.

With Clefairy down Whitney summoned a bigger threat, literally and metaphorically, Miltank, and Climmy realized he might be in trouble when Toxic Spikes was countered with a Lum Berry. In hindsight, he probably should have had Vulpix use Roar. Miltank charmed Bayleef with Attract, but Bayleef still managed to use Leech Seed. After four Stomps* Bayleef was able to get over his infatuation just enough to use Grass Whistle. Climmy switched to Pineco then Vulpix to get them some experience. A Super Potion was used on Miltank during the latter switch and with Vulpix Climmy thought it was a good idea to let her stay in to use Confuse Ray, but Miltank woke up to deliver a brutal Stomp. (-21 HP, 21→29/42) With massive healing from Leech Seed Climmy thought it was safe for Vulpix to use Will-o-Wisp and he was proven right when Miltank’s confusion kicked in. Climmy then requested Confuse Ray again incase Miltank snapped out of confusion, but instead of doing that Miltank hurt herself again. With one last move before fainting Miltank crushed Vulpix with another Stomp, but couldn’t get the KO.

**19:53** Whitney Down

 

Whitney started crying. Unsure about what to do Climmy asked, “Uh... can I have my badge?” Whitney sniffled, “Nu uh.” Climmy started to become annoyed. “Excuse me? According to Pokemon League Rules you have to give me a badge. Do you want me to start flipping out like I do with Team Rocket?” Whitney sobbed, “Go away.” Climmy started to become angry. “Give me the badge and I will.” The crying idiot yelled, “No!” The pacifist started to go on the warpath. “You’re not the only one who throws tantrums. I’m going to look for loot in your potted plants leaving them on their sides afterwards if you don’t give me the badge. Then I’ll call the Pokemon League on you if you still don’t give me the badge.”

Climmy left without the badge, but the shopping he did afterward would fix that. On the way back he asked a bored Rocket hanging outside the Radio Tower for help thinking it would be a fun way to refuel their fear of him. “Hey, what’s up!” The Rocket dismissively asked, “Do you mind? I’m kind of busy.” Climmy doubted it. “Are you really? I’ve been running around town all day and every time I’ve seen you today you’ve been here.” The Rocket sighed and Climmy offered some entertainment. “Want to see the local gym? Trust me, you want to.” The Rocket was desperate for anything and shrugged. “Okay, why not?” Climmy pulled out his phone. “Okay, cool. Mind if I make a call while we walk?” The Rocket shrugged. “Sure...” Climmy put the call on speaker phone. “Hello, this is Climmy. Is this Lance of the Elite Four?” To the Rocket’s disbelief Lance’s voice came from the phone. “Yes, this is Champion Lance speaking. How do you have this number?” Climmy spoke in tone that shocked the Rocket for being so casual even though Climmy was speaking to Johto’s Champion, “You gave it to me, remember? Sorry about addressing you as one of the Elite Four, I didn’t know you became champion. When’d that happen? Anyway, I’m taking on the Johto League and there’s a gym leader I beat that won’t  give me my badge.” Lance sighed, “Please don’t tell me it’s Clair again.” Climmy made a mental note to expect the worst from Clair. “No, it’s Whitney.” Lance groaned, “It’s been three months and I’m already considering firing her.” Climmy agreed with that idea. “Fire her. She wouldn’t even give me the badge after I pointed out she had to, after I said I’d loot her potted plants, after I followed through on that, nor when I was about to call you.” Lance’s disturbed expression could be felt over the phone. “You... what was that second one?” What Climmy said next didn’t make things much better. “Don’t worry, I didn’t go full pacifist on the war path with the plants.” Lance’s stunned silence made Climmy think the call had been dropped. “Hello?” Lance sounded like he was talking to a lunatic, “Who _are_ you?” Climmy flinched as though he’d been slapped. “...How do you not remember the guy that used only status moves against you and won?” Lance stated the obvious. “I’m starting to think this is a prank call...” Climmy sighed, “Don’t blame you for thinking that, but Whitney really did refuse to give me my badge.” A brief pause later the dial tone started and Climmy complained to the Rocket, “He hung up on me!” The Rocket didn’t know what to make of the call and asked, “So, who _are_ you?”

Climmy told the Rocket most of his life story and before they knew it they had arrived at the gym. Climmy gestured dramatically, “Here we are. After you sir.” It only took a few steps before the Rocket asked why the plants were knocked over. Climmy grinned. “You heard the phone call. I won and she still didn’t give me the badge. I told her I’d loot the plants and report her to the Pokemon League if she didn’t.” The Rocket frowned. “The plant thing just sounds petty.” Climmy shrugged. “I can’t argue with that, but it’s minor compared to what I can to. In fact, it’s usually to highlight what I’m doing, but for a gym leader, I thought it’d be a warning of what I can do.” The Rocket asked unsure if he wanted to know, “What can you do?” Climmy let out an exaggerated sigh. “You don’t know yet? What a shame. Well, I need help for my next plan. Would you like to do the honors?” The Rocket thought about a moment before deciding. “You know I have nothing better to do.” Climmy rummaged through his bag pulling out roll after roll of duct tape. Climmy savored the Rocket’s confusion and explained, “I want you to tape me to the wall above the door.” It took a moment for the Rocket to be able to say anything. “what” Climmy loved the smell of bafflement in the morning. “Oh, and leave my arms free. There’s something else in my bag that I want to use while taped up there.” Climmy waited for the Rocket to say anything, but had to sigh at the silence. “I don’t blame you if you want to leave.” The Rocket burst out laughing. “Let’s do this!”

When the Rocket had done his job he waited to see what the crazy kid would do. To his disappointment, the kid just asked for the badge again. Whitney just cried some more and the Rocket asked, “Now what?” The kid looked psychotic when he said, “Now, we wait.”

Dude entered the Goldenrod Gym. He was still angry about losing to that pathetic excuse for a trainer, but he was thinking that beating a crybaby gym leader would be good stress relief. Suddenly a smoke bomb burst in front of him and an idiot started screaming. “Wait in line! I won first, I’m getting my badge first! Get out!” On second thought, this gym could wait. As he left he heard the idiot ask someone, “Are there any good Italian restaurants that do delivery around here?” A brief pause later the idiot said, “Thanks. I like you, I’ll make you suffer last. Oh, I guess I left out the part about not liking Team Rocket. You might want to warn them about me like a good grunt.” How could anyone that pathetic have an ego so overbearing?

**19:54** Plain Badge

With badge in hand Climmy snuck to a shop next door. He placed his Plain Badge on the table and ominously said, “I’ve held my end of the bargain, now you hold yours.” The badge was inspected and Climmy was pleased to hear, “Yep, here you go. Enjoy your watering can!” He left laughing.

* * *

**Bayleef - Level 19 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Leech Seed  
Grass Whistle  
Poison Powder  
Synthesis

I didn’t replace my starter. Why would I replace my starter? I would never replace my starter! Leech Seed and Grass Whistle are Level up moves, not Egg moves, and he was always male. Stop looking at me like that!

**Togetic - Level 17 - Impish (+Def -SpA)**  
Sweet Kiss  
Flash  
Charm  
Yawn

Honestly, I don’t like Sweet Kiss as “offence” but I’m still using Togetic because he gets Wish at Level 28. Not very useful for now, but he might be fun with the next gym...

**Pineco - Level 17 - Calm (+SpD -Atk)**  
Toxic Spikes  
Protect  
Rest

I breed for a Pineco that knew Toxic Spikes because the alternative for that move was using the Move Reminder after evolving into Forretress, but that’s not the town with the eighth gym. Even if it was around Level 30 I’d say that’s early enough, but the final gym is far too late. Getting Beedrill to Level 25 was really easy with the daycare, but when I put in a Pineco and started getting eggs it started raising questions about Pokemon biology... and fetishes...

**Vulpix - Level 18 - Jolly (+Spe -SpA)**  
Will-o-Wisp  
Confuse Ray  
Rest  
Roar

Funny story, I bought Heart Gold when the games came out, but I lost all my 4th Gen games. Having to borrow Soul Silver from my sister means there’s finally a silver lining! Pun not intended. (That said, it’s not even close to a fair tradeoff for losing a Shiny Altaria and the Shiny Ariados I found on the day the game came out when I was looking for Heracross in the wrong area.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP changes for Bayleef against Miltank were the following. Stomp was the only attack used.  
> 
> 
> (Start) 57/57  
>  (-12 HP) 45→53  
>  (-12 HP) 41→49  
>  (-13 HP) 36→44  
>  (-13 HP) 31→39/57


	4. Ecruteak City

Who doesn’t love the Pokeathlon? The fresh air, the buzz of excitement, that one rabid guy who really wants prizes... The guide who’d told Climmy about the prizes wished she’d stopped listing prizes with the PP Up. The overcompetitive mad man had already been interested by that, but no, she had to send him into a frenzy with a Fire Stone... Even from the front desk she could hear screaming, “GO!GO!GO!GO!GO!” Maybe she’d take a vacation in case he came back for tomorrow’s prizes.

Now that there’s nothing better to do, it’s payback time. With his watering can of petty rage Climmy watered the dancing tree that had been blocking Route 36. “Haha! Vengeance is mine!” The tree punched Climmy in the gut. “oof... Yeah, that hurt...” Climmy collapsed.

After letting himself and his Pokemon recover at Ecruteak’s Pokemon Center, Climmy went sightseeing through rest of the town. You never know what you’ll find. For example, in the dance theater a Rocket stomped on stage and demanded Hula from the Kimono Girl. The Rocket started a pathetic mockery of Alolan dancing and Climmy heckled, “Get off the stage, you’re the worst dancer here!” The Rocket reached for his Pokeball and Climmy protested. “That’s not the kind of challenge meant for this place!” He hopped on stage. “Dance off. You, me, and the Kimono Girl the audience came here for. Losers get banned from the theater for life.” The Rocket stared in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.” Climmy dug through his bag for his tap dancing shoes. “I figure we’re both getting banned for disrupting the show and the audience is going to vote for the one they came here for, so I feel safe saying those are the terms. Also, I like humiliating Team Rocket. Now let’s dance!” Climmy easily upstaged the Rocket’s mockery of hula with tap dancing alone, but when that sank in he added confusing insult to confusing injury by adding in break dancing.

After overexposure to Climmy, Dude needed to relax and he knew just the place. Dude walked into the Ecruteak dance theater. Dude walked out of the Ecruteak dance theater. Checking out rumors of Legendary Pokemon at the Burnt Tower suddenly felt a much better idea. A few minutes later it suddenly felt like another bad idea when Climmy checked it out too and Dude couldn’t hold in his anger any longer. “You! What were you doing in the dance theater? I just want to relax and you just happen to... ugh!” Climmy awkwardly said, “Oh... you saw that... I’d explain, but you’d hate me more... So... how about a challenge for stress relief?”

 **24:08** Vs Dude

Climmy and Dude summoned Pineco and Gastly respectively. Pineco was Cursed as he lay down Toxic Spikes and Confuse Ray stopped Pineco from laying down a second layer. Climmy thought it was safe to try again, but he regretted letting Pineco stay in when Gastly used Mean Look. Pineco was done for, but he managed to lay down the second layer of Toxic Spikes before going down. Climmy sent in Togetic knowing that Gastly couldn’t do anything besides Curse to him. With Confuse Ray and Sweet Kiss the Pokemon confused each other before Gastly used Curse. To Climmy’s disappointment, Gastly was on the edge of collapsing but still standing. Climmy then switched to Bayleef to get rid of the curse just in time for a Mean Look that was meant for Togetic. Gastly managed use Confuse Ray on Bayleef right before his own confusion made him score a karmic knockout on himself.

Dude’s Zubat was sent out next. Bayleef started with Leech Seed while Zubat tried and failed to confuse Bayleef with Supersonic. Bayleef then failed to put Zubat to sleep with Grass Whistle and got battered by Wing Attack. (-19 HP, 45→50/64) Climmy switched to Ninetales who could take Wing Attack much better. During the switch Zubat missed with another Supersonic, but after taking Ninetals’s Will-o-Wisp the third Supersonic worked. Ninetales then fired off a Confuse Ray and everyone’s confusion made them do nothing but whack their heads on everything they could until Zubat went down. The trainers had to take a moment of stunned silence at the incompetence brought on by confusion before continuing.

After getting over Zubat’s failure, Dude sent in Magnemite. Climmy, despite the painful confusion, kept in Ninetales to use Will-o-Wisp. Magnemite got burned, but retaliated with Thunder Wave then Sonicboom. Ninetales managed to avoid the Sonicboom just in time for confusion to kick in again to make Climmy face palm. He knew it wasn’t her fault, but still... The second Sonicboom hit and Ninetales snapped out of confusion only for Paralysis to stop her from doing anything. Magnemite tried to confuse Ninetales again with Supersonic but failed. Ninetails’s Confuse Ray on the other hand was extremely effective. Magnimite hurt itself while Ninetales used Rest then hurt itself twice more while Ninetales slept. Knowing what Dude’s last Pokemon was, Climmy prepared by switching to Bayleef as Magnimite knocked itself out in confusion.

Toxic Spikes was finally useful when Dude sent out Quilava. Climmy started switching between Bayleef and Ninetales to lure then nullify Fire Type Moves, but Quilava used only Smokescreen. When Quilava was near his limit Dude asked, “Don’t you get I’m going easy on you?” Climmy felt a twinge of anger at the insultingly poor excuse. “There’s a difference between going easy and not trying. You stopped trying when it became hopeless so you could tell yourself you could have won if you tried. You should at least try facing a loss with dignity instead of your insulting way to deny losing. You were a worthy opponent until you gave up. Were.” Climmy returned Bayleef to his Pokeball and glared at Dude as Quilava fainted.

 **24:20** Dude Defeated

 

When Dude left a spectator stepped forth. “Bravo, what a marvelous battle.” Climmy jokingly brushed off the praise with false modesty, “Please, don’t thank me for that fight. I wasn’t the one fighting.” The spectator laughed heartily, “Haha, my name is Eusine. I’d like to fight you some time, but not now. I’m on the trail of a Pokémon named Suicune. I heard rumors that Suicune is here, so I came to look. Take a look at the basement through the hole in the floor. There.” Climmy slowly moved as close as he dared to the edge for a better look at the Legendary Trio of Raikou, Entei, and Suicune. Eusine started to continue, “Suicune is down th- Oh my! Are you okay?” Climmy had stayed too far onto weakened planks that had been weakened farther by the foot falls of Dude’s enraged exit. The thud of his body sent Raikou and Entei running, but Suicune came closer. Climmy raised a hand and asked in pain, “Help... me... please?” Suicune fled leaving Climmy laying there until Eusine arrive to gush about Suicune, apparently not realizing how much falling that far hurt. I didn’t take long for Climmy to get sick of Eusine’s self absorbed fanboying, especially when it drowned out his groans for help. Eventually Eusine heard Climmy. “Did you say something?” Climmy moaned, “Hospital? ...Please?”

Eusine helped Climmy to the hospital, but on the way Climmy’s priorities became skewed. “Hang on, let’s stop in here for a while.” Eusine asked, “Oh, but why? Surely your ribs can’t be feeling better already.” Climmy pointed at the sign and Eusine declared, “Shouldn’t the gym wait until after you rest?” Climmy limped inside.

 

Instead of the usual bragging of how strong their Pokemon are before battle Ecruteak’s gym leader asked, “Are you okay?” Climmy cheerfully admitted, “Nope! I was on my way to a hospital.” Eusine tried to talk some sense into Climmy. “Do you want to end up like one of Morty’s ghosts?” That caught his attention. “Your specialty is Ghost Types? How many Ghost type evolution chains even live in Johto?” Morty knew where this was going, “Two...” Climmy gave Morty that disappointed look everyone who asked that gave him. “Please tell me you have both.” Morty sighed. “When I took the job of gym leader I expected to be able to use Pokemon that aren’t native to the region. It’s even worse than it sounds because they won’t let me go the place where Misdreavus live.” Climmy rubbed his forehead. “This Pokemon League has so many problems...” Morty nodded numbly. “Tell me about it. I have to use all three stages just so I don’t get written up for having only one Pokemon species...” Climmy declared, “When I become champion I’m making changes.”

 **26:00** Vs Morty

Climmy started the challenge with Ninetales against Morty’s Gastly. Ninetales lead with a Will-o-Wisp that missed and Gastly started with a Lick that paralyzed and followed up with Mean Look. Ninetales cast another Will-o-Wisp burning Gastly this time. Knowing that Curse was likely the next move and that Ninetales job against Gastly was done, Climmy called for Roar. Climmy guess was proven correct when Gastly Cursed Ninetales with his last moment before his unsummoning.

With Gastly forced to switch out Morty summoned a Haunter. Now that Ninetales wasn’t trapped any more, Climmy switched to Togetic to end the Curse. Haunter tried to use Dream Eater which made Climmy raise an eyebrow. Climmy switched back to the Pokemon he wanted out, Ninetales, as Hypnosis was being aimed at Togetic. Ninetales took another Curse while casting Will-o-Wisp so Climmy switched back to Togetic. When Haunter used Nightmare Climmy understood the plan with this Haunter and exploited it. First Climmy switched back to Ninetales who’s paralysis would prevent Hypnosis from working then asked her to use Confuse Ray while Morty used a Hyper Potion. Haunter’s confusion the kicked in as Ninetales used Rest. Now Climmy had his opportunity to face an opponent that would do nothing to him. Climmy switched to Togetic against the baited Nightmares and Dream Eaters then back to the sleeping Ninetales when Haunter aimed Hypnosis at the awake Togetic. Haunter acted exactly as Climmy predicted and fell to his burn without doing much.

Ninetales was out when Morty had to send out Gengar and Climmy was sure Ninetales could take a few attacks, but a Critical Hit Shadow Ball instantly proved Climmy wrong with a knockout. Climmy summoned Togetic to face down Gengar and Climmy knew it was going to suck when Gengar greeted Togetic with Mean Look. When Gengar used Hypnosis Climmy expected the worst, but instead he got Sucker Punch. Gengar could do nothing! The bad news was that Togetic could only do anything with Sweet Kiss, so Climmy asked Morty if there were any good Italian restaurants in town before things got too boring. The “battle” between the two Pokemon was still just starting when lunch arrived and only ended after the stromboli was finished and Climmy had asked several sarcastic questions about the weather. Everyone cheered as Gengar finally went down, even Gengar. Especially Gengar.

Another Haunter was sent in and the “battle” became more like a battle. Togetic was Cursed while using Yawn. Unfortunately for Morty, Climmy was planning on switching anyway and the poor ordering of moves showed when switching cause an uncursed Bayleef to be trapped by Mean Look. Togetic’s Yawn made Haunter go to sleep and Bayleef took full advantage if it with Leech Seed. When Haunter woke up he could only use Night Shade before fainting.

Morty was down to the Gastly he started the challenge with, but all he could do was Lick and that was healed instantly by Leech Seed. It was even more pathetic when Morty used a Hyper Potion.

 **26:19** Fog Badge

Climmy had to ask why Morty didn’t use the Potion on his second Haunter instead. When Morty blamed the Pokemon League making him save a Potion for his last Pokemon Climmy grew suspicious and called Lance to double check what Morty was saying. Turns out not only was it true, but Lance was enforcing it with an iron fist. Climmy’s list of things to fix when he became champion was going to be a long one.

* * *

 **Bayleef - Level 24 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Leech Seed  
Grass Whistle  
Poison Powder  
Synthesis

It’s easy to assume that Toxic would be the best move for a run like this, but it’s Leech Seed. When all you do is tank, healing is awesome.

 **Togetic - Level 25 - Impish (+Def -SpA)**  
Sweet Kiss  
Flash  
Encore  
Yawn That said, I still want TM 06... badly...

 **Ninetales - Level 23 - Jolly (+Spe -SpA)**  
Will-o-Wisp  
Roar  
Confuse Ray  
Rest

Will-o-Wisp is actually better than Toxic in some ways because after Leech Seed or Entry Hazards the amount of turns needed is about the same, it affects Poison and Steel Types instead of instead of the less common Fire Types, and of course there’s the Attack drop. (By the way, after Whitney I immediately grinded the Pokealthon for a Fire Stone. It was either grind there or wait for Kanto until evolution.)

 **Pineco - Level 20 - Calm (+SpD -Atk)**  
Toxic Spikes  
Protect  
Rest

Toxic Spikes hasn’t been that useful yet, but I feel safe saying that if Leech Seed isn’t the best move then Toxic Spikes is.


	5. Olivine City, Cainwood City, and the Ocean

Route Thirty Nine had a farm, E-I-E-I-O! And on that farm Climmy broke in. E-I-E-I-O! Well, not really. The doors were unlocked and they welcomed passersby in. They didn’t ask for anything in return, but Climmy had to ask if he could do anything for their sick Miltank. Turns out she needed Oran Berries, the one type of berry Climmy hadn’t been using because they’re less effective than even Basic Potions. Climmy handed over the berries and tried to tell the farmers he didn’t want a reward because he didn’t do much, but they wouldn’t say no. He wasn’t one to say no to free stuff for long so he gave into accepting a Seal case. He remembered hearing they were popular in Sinnoh and if he remembered right then seals were something that added a visual effect to Pokeballs, like confetti or fire. It didn’t take him long to realize how much time he would waste.

Climmy couldn’t go far on Route 40 on land, just far enough to see something under construction that he hoped to dominate while jokingly protesting. Not wanting to swim across the ocean, Climmy checked out the Lighthouse next.

For a building that was supposed to save lives the lighthouse had a lot of trainers only interested in causing harm to Climmy’s Pokemon. It wasn’t until he reached the top the Climmy found a trainer that didn’t want to fight. The trainer introduced herself as Jasmine and told him her Ampharos usually lit up the light house but she was too sick to do it. Climmy asked if he could help and Jasmine explained that the sickness was bad enough that she needed special medicine from Cainwood City, which was across the ocean. Climmy explained who he was and why sending anyone else was a better idea, but he wasn’t about to do nothing for a poor sick Pokemon. He was going incase no one else went.

Dude boarded a ship to Cainwood and out of the corner of his eye he saw Climmy sprint into the ocean and start swimming. If Climmy was swimming there then he was stupid as he is pathetic.

 

Climmy washed up on Cainwood’s beach, relieved to be done with the ocean. For now he just wanted to lay there and enjoy the breeze. Something nudged him and he muttered, “Leave me alone.” The something nudged Climmy again making him begrudgingly roll onto his back. Climmy couldn’t believe what was standing over him and didn’t want to scare it away. “Um... hi?” Suicune ran over the waves out to sea. “Oh, come on!” A flamboyant observer tried to comfort Climmy. “I can only imagine how annoying it can be to have a Legendary Pokemon just an arm’s reach away only to see it run.” Climmy wasn’t comforted. “Suicune watched me swim the ocean when he could have helped me and then just stands over me! Two days of swimming! Two! Days!” Eusine decided not to tell Climmy about the ship that travels between Olivine and Cianwood daily. “Would you like a challenge for stress relief?” Climmy both liked and disliked the idea. “A challenge would be nice, but it’s only good stress relief for people that like attacking. I have Smash Bros for stress relief, bit ironic for me isn’t it? That said, it’s not that it’s that good for stress relief when I play against Bayleef. He knows just the right way to chew and lick the controller to beat me every time. I don’t know how he does it...”

**32:57** Vs Eusine

Eusine gracefully summoned his Drowzee as Climmy released Pineco. Drowzee went for Hypnosis, but instead of putting Pineco to sleep it gave him time to set up two layers of Toxic Spikes and one layer of Spikes. Before a second layer of Spikes could be laid Drowzee said no with Disable. Drowzee then tried Hypnosis again and failed again while Pineco used Swagger. Now that Pineco had done all he could currently do, Climmy said good job and switched to Ninetales. A Confusion from Drowzee on the switch made Climmy think he’d given up on Hypnosis, but when Climmy called for Roar, Hypnosis finally worked before Ninetales could Roar. Drowzee hurt himself in confusion once before snapping out of it and healing the damage with two Dream Eaters. (Down to 43/86 HP) After the second Dream Eater Climmy didn’t want Ninetales taking another, so he went from requesting Roar to asking for Confuse Ray. Ninetales then woke up and cast the requested move on Drowzee while Drowzee managed to use Confusion on her. Climmy knew Hypnosis was likely, but Rest would do practically nothing because of Dream Eater, so he called for Roar. As Ninetales prepared to Roar Drowzee raised a hand to use Hypnosis and slapped himself instead because of his confusion.

Eusine summoned his Haunter after the forced retreat. Not seeing any danger, Climmy suggested Rest and Haunter’s Lick was just as ineffective as he’d expected. While Ninetales slept, Haunter laid a Curse on her. Climmy did the obvious thing, switching to Togetic, while Eusine proved his mastery over move order with Mean Look. Before Togetic could do anything he was put to sleep by Hypnosis and before he needed to do anything Haunter KOed itself with Curse.

A Pokeball was tossed onto the battlefield and at first Climmy thought it was broken, but he quickly realized it was an Electrode. Climmy switched to Bayleef who got blasted with a Thunder that would have probably finished Togetic. (-15 HP, 65/80) When Bayleef went for Leech Seed Electrode Screeched at him. Climmy switched to Pineco to end the defense drop, but it proved unnecessary when Electrode used Sonicboom. Climmy predicted the obvious Thunder and switched back to Bayleef to take it. Electrode used the predicted move then fainted from the rapid drain from Toxic Spikes and Leech Seed it’d been dealing with.

Drowzee tried to hurt Bayleef with Confusion, but it was almost all healed after Bayleef used Leech Seed. From there Drowzee tried Hypnosis twice before falling to the overwhelming combination of Toxic Spikes and Leech Seed.

**33:05** Climmy Wins (Suicune approves)

Eusine applauded Climmy’s victory, but Climmy wasn’t happy yet. He unzipped a side pocket of his thankfully waterproof bag and turned on the Nintendo Switch he withdrew. “Still annoyed at Suicune. Want to play Smash Bros?” Eusine had about Climmy’s skill level and put up a good fight, barely beating the Climmy Mii Brawler with Isabelle in best two out of three. Climmy was impressed, but he liked acting like a sore loser. “Here.” He held his controller to Bayleef’s mouth and Bayleef took it with a muffled cry of joy. “I don’t like losing. Have fun.”

 

The Johto League had been easy so far and Climmy didn’t expect things to change with a Gym Leader that had two Pokemon.

**33:27** Climmy Vs Chuck

Climmy started with summoning Bayleef  as Chuck released Primeape. Bayleef used Leech Seed while Primeape tried to evade with Double Team and Climmy felt like he had already won with Leech Seed’s landing. Primeape crushed Bayleef with Rock Slide (-19 HP, 63→73/82) and although Bayleef didn’t flinch he still failed to poison Primeape with the Poison Powder he scattered. The second Poison Powder worked, but Climmy had turned pale because of what Chuck yelled, “Focus Punch!” Primeape’s raw power smashed into Bayleef for massive damage, (-57 HP, 16→26/82) and in a panic Climmy switched to Pineco. While Climmy was switching Primeape caused another Rock Slide, but it missed giving Climmy hope. When Pineco tried to set up entry hazards the next Rock Slide which annihilated him and Climmy’s hope with a Critical Hit. The silver lining was that Chuck was probably about to use a Hyper Potion, so Climmy switched back to Bayleef. Chuck used the predicted Hyper Potion and Bayleef healed with Synthesis. (+41 HP, 67→77/82) With nothing to do, Bayleef scattered more Poison Powder while Primeape Leered. With a nope thought so loudly that even non-telepaths felt it Climmy switched to Togetic who was brutally slammed by the incoming Focus Punch. (-60 HP, 25→35/80) Trying to prevent any more brutal blows, Climmy called for Sweet Kiss and although it confused Primeape he still managed to manage overkill with another Focus Punch. Primeape was nearly finished, so Climmy sent in Ninetales to have the right Pokemon out for the next Pokemon. Climmy hoped that Primeape’s next attack wouldn’t hurt too much, but in an ironic twist Primeape confusion made him landed a KO on himself.

Chuck sent in his other Pokemon, Poliwrath. Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp to make this Pokemon easier than the first one and the attack drop showed when Poliwrath Body Slammed her. (-13 HP, 76/89) After Ninetales’s Confuse Ray and another Body Slam (-12 HP, 64/89) Climmy switched to Bayleef to speed up the drain. A Body Slam greeted Bayleef, but it could, and would, be healed without effort. Bayleef had no reason to care about a second attack, especially when Poliwrath’s confusion prevented it, and Leech Seed healed the damage from the first one. Despite common sense, Climmy switched back to Ninetales. (I guess I got used to sending Pokemon out for one move then switching back to the last Pokemon.) Another Body Slam was tanked (-14 HP, 50→62/89) then Climmy felt Poliwrath’s mood switch to serious as he used Surf and nearly knocked out Ninetales. (-42 HP, 8→20/89) Both trainers desperately healed their Pokemon, Chuck with a Hyper Potion and Climmy by calling for Rest. For Poliwrath’s final stand he lashed out with constant Focus Punches that were almost as strong as the Surfs and forced another Rest, but in the end he reached his limit before Ninetales did.

**33:37** Storm Badge

 

Jasmine heard a ding from the elevator and a soaking wet figure emerged panting. “I... got medicine...” Jasmine exclaimed, “Are you okay?” Climmy got out three more words, “Swam ocean... sucked...”

Climmy woke up in an overly soft bed with Jasmine and a healthy Ampharos standing over him. He groaned, “Where am I?” Jasmine softly said, “You’re in the lighthouse. You passed out when you gave us the medicine.” Climmy nodded. “I kind of ran here after four days of swimming and resting on whatever islands I could find, so makes sense. Good to see Ampharos doing good. I was worried I’d be too late.” Ampharos growled affectionately and Jasmine smiled warmly. “Amphy says thank you. She hasn’t been this energetic in a long time.” Climmy felt wrong for asking but he thought he had the right to, “I know it’s rude to ask for a reward, but can I have some hot chocolate?” Jasmine agreed and while she fixed the drink she asked, “Why did you swim? Don’t you have HM 03 Surf?” Climmy would have laughed if he wasn’t so tired. “Nope. As I said, I only use status moves. The idea of teaching Surf, even just for getting around easily, fills me with anxiety.” Jasmine couldn’t believe what she’d heard. “I thought you were just exaggerating how much you use status moves.” Climmy couldn’t believe what he’d heard. “Haven’t you heard the rumors about that one idiot that doesn’t attack, but somehow wins?” Jasmine had. “I did, but why would anyone would believe them?” Climmy couldn’t argue with that.

The next day Climmy met Jasmine at her gym and asked about his reward. “I know you gave me the one thing I asked for as a reward for giving you medicine, but hot chocolate isn’t much of a reward is it? If it’s not too much to ask, could I have a gym badge too?” Climmy readied his Pokeball.

**34:35** Vs Jasmine

Climmy summoned Pineco and raised an eyebrow when Jasmine sent out a Magnimite that probably could have evolved by now. Magnimite started with a devastating Thunderbolt (-54 HP 16/80) as Pineco lay down a layer of Spikes. Climmy went in wanting more than one layer of spikes, but after Thunderbolt he thought one was fine and switched to Bayleef. Bayleef was blasted with Thunderbolt on the switch (-21 HP, 64/85) then paralyzed by Thunder Wave when he used Leech Seed. Magnimite started a storm of Thunderbolts* as Bayleef tried to put it to sleep with Grass Whistle. Two failed attempts let Magnimite inflict a lot of damage making Climmy call for Synthesis, but Bayleef’s paralysis wouldn’t let him use it. Another Thunderbolt blasted Bayleef (-22 HP, 9/85) and Climmy was getting nervous, but Bayleef fought through the paralysis for Synthesis. (+42 HP, 51→58/85) Magnimite unleashed another Thunderbolt and followed up insisting on Beyleef going down with a Critical Hit Thunderbolt. (-45 HP, 13→20/85) Bayleef not only defied the “polite request” but also finally put Magnimite to sleep with Grass Whistle. Paralysis stopped another use of Synthesis, but Bayleef had time. As Jasmine used a Hyper Potion on Magnimite Synthesis was prevented again. With Leech Seed it wasn’t needed as much now, but Climmy still asked for Synthesis and this time Bayleef managed to use it to almost completely recover. (+42 HP, 76→83/85) Now Climmy suggested Grass Whistle incase Magnimite woke up, which it did, but it managed two to blast Bayleef with more Thunderbolts before falling asleep again. Climmy saw this as an opportunity to set up more Spikes, so he switched back to Pineco. Another Layer of Spikes was set while Magnimite slept, but Climmy wasn’t risking a third one, so he called for Protect for free recovery from Leech Seed. Judging by Magnimite’s lack of movement, Climmy should have risked the third layer. Now that it was even more likely that Magnimite would wake up Climmy switched back to Bayleef. Magnimite woke up with Supersonic then fell. Magnimite was finished, but there was a chance he could still impact the battle through the inflicted confusion.

When Jasmine sent in a second Magnimite Climmy asked her what her excuse was and became annoyed when the answer was none.  The second Magnimite started unleashing another storm of Thunderbolts* as Bayleef used Leech Seed. Paralysis prevented Bayleef from doing anything until the moment before Synthesis was needed. Magnimite tried for Sonicboom, but missed and was put to sleep by Grass Whistle. Climmy switched to Pineco again and asked for the final layer of Spikes. Magnimite woke up when it was almost completely drained by Leech Seed and fired off a Thunderbolt for its last stand, but Pineco didn’t seem to notice from behind Protect. Climmy, with exaggerated boredom in his voice, told Jasmine to bring on the third Magnimite.

Jasmine’s third Magnimite was a Steelix. The Steel Type Moves were finally coming and they were going to hurt, so Climmy switched to Ninetales. Steelix summoned a Sandstorm during the switch then Screeched while Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp. Climmy thought it was safe to assume Steelix didn’t know any Ground Type Moves because she didn’t try to knockout Ninetales, so Climmy suggested Confuse Ray which immediately made Steelix hurt itself. With Ninetales’s work done, Climmy switched to Bayleef who was greeted by a Screech that he somehow managed to ignore. Steelix’s confusion kicked in again as Bayleef used Leech Seed, but the Confusion ended as Steelix restarted the Sandstorm. Bayleef not only didn’t care about the weather, he scattered Poison Powder into the storm for fun. Jasmine used her second Hyper Potion and Leech Seed let Bayleef heal to full health again despite the sandstorm. When Steelix Screeched again Climmy switched to Pineco who took getting slammed by Iron Tail pretty well. (-22 HP, 30→25→37/80) With the burn and Leech Seed draining Steelix quickly, Climmy knew that after Protect and Pineco taking another Iron Tail, he’d win. With Protect blocking a blow then one last hit from Steelix, and a thud of a fainting Pokemon, Climmy was proven right.

**34:51** Mineral Badge

* * *

**Bayleef - Level 31 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Leech Seed  
Grass Whistle  
Poison Powder  
Synthesis

I didn’t plan on grinding but I was just out of town the day I would have fought Chuck, so I went exploring instead so I’d be at my computer to take notes when I was fighting him.

**Togetic - Level 29 - Impish (+Def -SpA)**  
Sweet Kiss  
Wish  
Encore  
Flash

I think I should have deleted Encore instead of Charm...

**Ninetales - Level 30 - Jolly (+Spe -SpA)**  
Will-o-Wisp  
Confuse Ray  
Roar  
Rest

I’m not sure if Ninetales is a really good tank or just overpowered for this point in the game. Either way, Will-o-Wisp is awesome.

**Pineco - Level 30 - Calm (+SpD -Atk)**  
Toxic Spikes  
Spikes  
Swagger  
Protect

If you do this challenge on Heart Gold or Soul Silver, catch a Pineco and breed it with a Beedrill. Toxic Spikes is really good, but Spikes and Toxic Spikes is amazing. Now imagine when I get Stealth Rock...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ninetales’s HP Changes during Poliwrath’s final stand of Focus Punches were the following. R means Ninetales used Rest.  
>   
> (Rest) 89/89  
> (-34 HP) 55→67  
> (-36 HP) 31→43  
> (R, -34 HP) 89→55→67  
> (-34 HP) 33→39/89
> 
>  
> 
> Health Changes for Bayleef against the first Magnimite were the following. Thunderbolt was the only attack used, T Wave is short for Thunder Wave and S means Bayleef used Synthesis.  
>   
> (Bayleef Start) 85/85  
> (-21 HP) 64  
> (T Wave) 71  
> (-21 HP) 50→57  
> (-21 HP) 36→43  
> (-20 HP) 23→30  
> (-21 HP, S) 9→51→58  
> (Crit -45 HP) 13→20  
> (Sleep) 27  
> (Sleep) 34  
> (Sleep, S) 76→83  
> (-22 HP) 61→68  
> (-19 HP) 49→56  
> (Sleep) 53  
> (Sleep) 67/85 HP when Magnimite was KOed.
> 
>  
> 
> Health changes for Bayleef against the second Magnimite were the following. Only Thunderbolt dealt damage and S means Bayleef used Synthesis. (The miss was Sonicboom.)  
>   
> (Start) 67/85  
> (-18 HP) 49→56  
> (-17 HP) 39→46  
> (-18 HP) 28→35  
> (-17 HP, S) 18→60→67  
> (Miss) 74/85  
> Switch Out  
> (Level Up) 77/88
> 
>  
> 
> Health changes for Pineco against the second Magnimite were the following.  
>   
> (Switch in) 30→37/80  
> (Zzz, Spikes) 44  
> (Wake, Protect) 52/80


	6. Mahagony Town, the Lake of Rage, and a Legite Souvenir Shop

Climmy headed to the Northeast corner of Johto, the corner farthest away from oceans, which meant he had to go through Route 42. After four days of suffering it was easy to choose between the two paths through the route, swimming across a few small lakes or getting lost in Mt. Mortar’s labyrinth of caves. Needless to say, Climmy chose the caves.

 

Climmy was almost to Mahogany Town’s Pokemon Center when he took a moment to admire the most stunning sight in town, a tree. He thought out loud, “That has to be the worst disguised antenna I’ve ever seen.” The sign next to it made things even better. “Just a Souvenir Shop. Nothing suspicious about it. No need to be alarmed.” Climmy turned on his radio and whatever he was hearing made him want to do some lumberjacking, but he wanted to be sure it was a good idea first. He opened the souvenir shop’s door and asked if it was controlled by Team Rocket. The shopkeeper’s stammering and a breeze coming from underneath a suspicious cabinet was enough to make Climmy knock over their potted plant and rev his chainsaw. When Climmy started someone asked, “Do you have a permit to cut down that tree?” Climmy realized how illegal what he was doing was and answered honestly to Officer Jenny, “I don’t have a permit to cut down trees, but I don’t think I need one.” Climmy tore off some branches which had been stuck there poorly with duck tape and glue. “I’m demolishing an illegally built structure and I have reason to believe Team Rocket took over or owns this souvenir shop.” Jenny pondered Climmy’s claim. “That would explain the radio signals that are forcing Magikarp to evolve. I’m going to investigate” Jenny went in and didn’t take long before she told Climmy, “Cut the tree down. I’m going to call for reinforcements.” Sparks flew as the tree fell and Climmy’s radio started playing country music. If that’s what was playing then he already missed the screeching static of Team Rocket’s... whatever it was. Climmy wanted to raid the base really badly, but he’d heard of famous lake not far north of town that’s know for its seeming infinite Magikarp. If Team Rocket had been forcing Magikarp evolve then he had to make sure they weren’t catching any.

 

The Lake of Rage had been living up to its name lately. Between the irritatingly high pitch radios had been emitting until an hour ago and all the Magikarp evolving into Gyrados, everything was ether angry or running away from Hyper Beams. Climmy stood at the shore and asked his Pokemon about an idea the chaos gave him. “This is a really bad idea so feel free to say no, but do you want to try some endurance training?” Togetic screamed, Meganium franticly shook his head, Forretress started hopping back to Mahogany Town, and Ninetales glared as if to say, “I will burn you if you try to make me.” Climmy was about to return his Pokemon when he thought he saw something sparkling in the lake. Climmy tried to get a better look and regretted it when the horror emerged. A blood red Gyrados looked down upon the puny trainer, a possible meal. Climmy knew he couldn’t outrun Hyper Beam and acted on his other instincts, screaming panicked profanities and hurling Pokeballs. The shiny Gyrados broke out of the first one and started to roar in rage before being interrupted by being sucked into another one. Gyrados broke out and charged Hyper Beam only for another Pokeball to stop it. Gyrados escaped again and swallowed Climmy whole before he could try to catch it again. Gyrados roared in triumph as though laughing, but it was not the last laugh. Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp to avenge her trainer, Meganium joined in with Leech Seed, then before Gyrados could retaliate, a Dragonite rammed it with Dragon Rush. As though to add insult to mass injury, another Pokeball no one could have seen coming tried to catch Gyrados. Climmy fell from the air and scrambled away from a shaking Pokeball he’d been holding. Climmy’s Pokemon stared at their trainer who just smiled weakly. “So glad it didn’t chew.” They backed away slowly. watching the Pokeball in fear of vengeful Gyrados. The ball clicked.

 **35:50** OMG I caught a Shiny!

Climmy laughed deliriously and soon his Pokemon had joined in in relief. When Climmy could stop he asked, “How long do you think I’m going to brag about catching a Pokemon from inside?” The Dragonite swooped toward them and a caped man leaped off, landing right in front of Climmy. “I’d brag about it forever, but that’s not important. Are you okay?” Climmy couldn’t believe the champion showed up here and now. “Lance? What are you doing here?” Lance repeated, “Are you okay?” Climmy thought for a moment. “Other than the obvious mental trauma and wishing you got here sooner, not that I blame you, the stomach acid burns a little. I’d wash it off, but you saw what’s in there!” Climmy tore his gaze from the lake of horrors and took a breath. “So, why are you here?” Lance couldn’t place his finger on it, but something felt strangely familiar about this kid. “I’m here to see what I can do about the radio signals that are forcing Magikarp to evolve. It’s rumored Team Rocket is behind it and they need to be stopped.” Climmy started to think he had a raiding buddy. “Funny, I’m here for pretty much the same reason. After stopping their ‘radio station’ I came to stop Team Rocket from catching any Gyrados, which isn’t much of a problem when they’re too weak to fight them and too incompetent to sneak close without getting vaporized by Hyper Beams. I’m going to raid their base now. Want to join me?” Lance was impressed. “You know where their base is? Tell me.” Climmy grinned. “It’s pretty hard to miss. It’s in a souvenir shop with a sign that says there’s nothing suspicious and an antenna that was disguised as a tree until some idiot cut it down with a chainsaw.” Lance blinked and Climmy laughed. “I wish I was making this up. Team Rocket is hilariously pathetic! Please wait for me there. I’m going to take a while.” Lance didn’t want to know why the kid would take so long, especially since he was sure that kid is the lunatic who called him about Whitney.

Climmy had an idea that even he thought was insane. He sent out the shiny Gyrados, holding its Pokeball close in case it tried to eat him again, to see if the plan was even possible. It didn’t try to kill him which was a very good sign. Climmy spoke carefully, “I know who forced you to evolve and I’m going to get revenge on them.” Gyrados leaned closer. “If you want to help, please say so.” Gyrados roared skyward, scaring away everything remaining within miles of the Lake of Rage. “I’m so glad you’re not trying to kill me anymore... We need a river to flow to the base of the ones who made you suffer. So, see where I’m pointing?” Gyrados turned and Climmy couldn’t help but grin. “Hyper Beam.” Gyrados unleashed raw power from its gaping mouth and tore the earth apart. After just one Hyper Beam the river’s start was already the size of Climmy’s house making him giggle with awed delirious glee. Climmy pointed and asked for another one. Slowly they made their way towards Mahogany Town.

 

When Climmy arrived back at the souvenir shop to the most horrifying scene of his life. Lance had the shopkeeper cowering and he coldly ordered, “Dragonite, Hyper Beam.” Dragonite fired on the shopkeeper. Lance noticed Climmy and started to ask, “What took-” Climmy didn’t want to jump to conclusions. “Did he attack you first.” Lance said no like it wasn’t a big deal. Climmy went from near calm to almost reaching his breaking point. “WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Lance calmly stated, “I was interrogating for the entrance to Rocket base.” Climmy broke. “You... YOU! You’re no better than Team Rocket! We do things my way or not at all! I’m going against whoever attacks next! GOT IT!” Lance opened his mouth only to be cut off by Climmy growling, “You do NOT want me as an enemy.” Climmy turned to the shopkeeper. “I’ve got a first aid kit in my bag, do you need it?” The shopkeeper whimpered no. “I want to talk to your boss _peacefully_. I know we’re enemies, but I promise not mess with any of you as long as none of you mess with me. Deal?” Climmy wasn’t sure if the shopkeeper was nodding or if his body was shaking, but he was taking it as a yes. “Will you take us or will you fetch your boss?” The shopkeeper pushed his cabinet to reveal a stair case and took the lead.

Climmy wrote a letter while they walked and Lance looked around as he followed. The shopkeeper repeating Climmy’s deal did nothing to return the color to the Rockets’ faces, which was to be expected when the champion could crush them at any moment, but Lance couldn’t help but feel like something was off. He kept watching the Rockets, expecting them to strike, but then he realized what was strange. About half of the Rockets either saw him then grew paler at the sight of Climmy or just watched Climmy in fear. Climmy finished his letter and licked an envelope to put it in. The shopkeeper said they were at Admin Ariana’s office when Climmy had finished signing and sealing the envelope. Climmy placed the letter on her desk and walked out. Ariana’s  face turned pale when she read it and Climmy glared at Lance. “That’s how a pacifist does it. Let’s go.”

Unnerved by how easily Climmy scared hardened criminals Lance didn’t dare say anything until they got out. When they did he asked what the note said only to be dismissively told, “Oh, I just told them I caught a Gyrados and said something about the landscape that was here when I got here.” Lance uneasily asked what thing and Climmy smiled as he pointed at a river. Lance could only whisper one heavily disturbed word, “Why?” to which Climmy said, “Why what? It was like that when I got here. Want me tell you exactly what the note said?” Lance was scared. “You scare me.” Climmy shrugged. “I get that a lot.” Climmy paused for a moment before correcting himself. “Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t. I only get panicked screaming. Anyway, the note said...”

 

Dear Team Rock Boys,

You know that crimson sparkle sparkle Gyrados at the Lake of Rage? It ate me, but I got better. I caught it and it knows Hyper Beam. I’m not aiming it at any of you directly because I’m a nice guy, but you still might want to get out of your underground bellow lake level base.

 

Yo Boi,  
Clim-may, the Pacifist on the War Path

 

P.S. That river was here when I got here.

 

Climmy’s eyes gleamed with madness. “With the right angle, one last Hyper Beam could flood their base.” Lance’s eyes widened in horror. “How’s that any better than what I did?” Climmy agreed that it sounded bad, “It would be so much worse if I was planning on following through. Good thing they’re too scared of me to call my bluff.” Climmy watched the shifting looks on Lance’s face and savored the moment the plan sank in. “You carved a river... for a bluff!” Climmy answered with a somehow deadpan yes. Lance was starting to calm down when Climmy continued, “That said, it would be funny to flood the base after making sure no one’s left.” It took a long time for Lance to be able to say anything, but when he could he screamed, “You can’t be serious!” Climmy kept on piling on the insanity, “I probably won’t, but I’m a petty sadist. Even if I don’t, they’ll be too scared to reform after ending this time. I know being a psychopath worked in my timeline.” ~~~~

In his what? Lance had to call out Climmy for his mental instability. “Your timeline?” Climmy dropped the act of insanity so Lance would consider taking him seriously. “I know it’s even more insane than everything else I’ve said today, but please think about it. I seem to know you and have your number but you don’t know me, Team Rocket doesn’t know who I was even though I seem to be an expert at destroying them, and I have a game called Undertale that doesn’t seem to exist. From what I can tell, I’m from an alternant timeline or universe where ‘I’ am merely a very talented trainer instead of a sadist pacifist and I can’t torment Team Rocket with the friendly RPG where no one has to die. There’s other differences too, but those are the big ones I’ve seen.” Lance wanted to be convinced Climmy’s completely insane, but something nagged at him. “Why do you expect anyone to believe that?” Climmy sighed. “Honestly, I don’t, which is why I waited until you already thought I was insane before telling you, but I have proof.” Lance watched quizzically as Climmy dug through his bag and handed him Undertale. “Please look up this game.” Lance checked and unnerved by the lack of results he asked, “Can... I borrow this to make sure it’s real?” Climmy nodded, “I need someone to know. Not having anyone tell me this is really happening is making me doubt my sanity.” Lance didn’t need to play the game. ~~~~

The trainers waited outside for Team Rocket to fall for the bluff. Lance watched the front door from a safe distance, therefore he was watching Climmy, who was grinning at the door from less than an inch away, from a safe distance. The unlucky Rocket that opened the door was greeted with the jump scare of Climmy’s face inches from his own. The scream from the poor idiot was fun, but it wasn’t enough. “You got my note?” The Rocket nodded slowly eyes wide in horror and the rest of the Rockets behind him were beginning to fear the worst. Climmy laughed, “You got my note and you expect mercy?” The Rocket gulped fearing what would come next. Lance asked Climmy if he was going too far to which he turned his grin from happy to evil and shook his head without facing the champion. “You’re idiots...” Climmy growled. He let the horror of the statement sunk in before cheerfully declaring, “but your right! Mercy for everyone! Get out and have a nice day!” Climmy stepped aside and dramatically gestured for everyone to leave. It took several moments before anyone moved, but eventually the Rockets started to spill out. Before they could go far police sirens blared and the looks on everyone’s faces were hilarious, but Lance’s disturbed dumbfounded one was the best and Climmy had to bring attention to it. “See Lance? If my friends fear me then prison must be mercy compared to facing me as an enemy.”

 **38:13** Team Rocket Decimated (Decimate technically means reduce by a tenth, but it would be more accurate to say they were reduced to a tenth.)

Lance wanted to part ways, but Climmy clearly didn’t. “And now for the best part.” Lance sighed, “Please don’t say flood the base.” Climmy said, “No, but that would be fun. We’re going looting!” Climmy didn’t think Lance liked the idea yet and added, “It’s like shopping!” Lance’s disbelief wasn’t getting old, but Climmy still needed to convince his backup to come. “Besides, there might be a few idiots left.” Lance reluctantly agreed, but Climmy wanted a little more commitment than just a body guard. “And you know what happens after that?” Lance guessed wearily, “We flood the base?” Climmy looked like he was about to commit extreme vandalism. “We’re going to help Officer Jenny gather evidence!” Lance had to admit that was a good idea until Climmy ruined it with, “Then we flood the base.” Climmy admired the annoyed look Lance was giving him for a moment before showing a rare sign of sanity. “I was joking about actually flooding the base. Acting like a psychopath is fun! You should try it some time.”

Lance and Jenny handled the investigation like professionals, but Climmy ran around like a kid in a candy shop asking them if he could keep any potions, ethers, and whatever seemingly random non-evidence things he wanted. Jenny got annoyed quickly and Lance was too mentally exhausted to care if Climmy acted crazy as long as he behaved... if you can call what he’s doing as behaving...

Climmy couldn’t help but be impressed by a power generator using Electrode. Using Pokemon for power generation is surprisingly uncommon for how easy and environmentally friendly it is, but Team Rocket had built it so he should assume the worst. Climmy called for Jenny who scowled at the sight of it. “This is a common power generator for criminals. It traps the Electrode in place and forces them to discharge. Very cruel.” Climmy was disappointed but not surprised. “Got it. Stop the Electrode then chainsaw the generator. How do we stop them?” Climmy heard a Pokeball open. “Dragonite, Hyper Beam.” Climmy screamed, “Violence again! Lance, those Electrode are innocent! Are we even sure it’s the only way?” Jenny put her hand on Climmy’s shoulder. “Sorry. It is the only way.” Climmy didn’t like it but he had to admit if Officer Jenny’s saying it than it’s probably true. “Okay... Can we at least let Meganium put them to sleep with Grass Whistle first?”

 **38:19**  Stopped the Electrode generator.

After searching most of the base Climmy had started to lose hope about finding anything he really wanted, but in the final room he hit the jackpot. “Hey! Lance, Jenny, I found a few hundred T-shirts.” Officer Jenny didn’t seem as excited. “We only need a few for the evidence locker.” Climmy suggested, “You can also put a few in lost and founds so you can arrest anyone stupid enough to take them back. By the way, can I loot the rest?” Jenny nodded at the idea until the request sunk in. “Why do you want so many shirts?” Climmy shrugged. “I’m hoping Team Rocket tries to take over a city again. I’ve had ideas since The Siege of Saffron.” Lance asked if he wanted to know and Climmy asked back, “How often do you get to hear about alternate history?” Climmy noticed Jenny’s confusion and explained, “I’m ether insane or from a different timeline. Probably the latter because I have a game called Undertale that doesn’t seem to exist in this world.” Jenny thought it would be a good idea to ask about something less insane. “Okay, but how will you carry the shirts?” Climmy had been waiting for that question a long time. “Glad you asked. You know how Pokeballs are tiny, but can hold a Wailord? This bag is custom made by Silph Co. after I freed them with that kind of storage technology. I’m thinking of getting it upgraded into a suit that lets me summon stored things into my hands. Wouldn’t that be awesome? ...I’m guessing you want me to stop talking for the sake of your sanity.”

 

With investigation done the trio went their own separate ways. Climmy still hadn’t challenged the town’s gym, so he had to make sure his Pokemon were ready for it. He had just hand his Pokemon over to Nurse Joy when he heard an explosion followed by the sound of rushing water. “Uh... Just a sec.” Climmy ran to the river to see Lance and his Dragonite watching it rush into a tunnel. For once in his life, Climmy was disturbed by apparent madness. “You didn’t...” Lance nodded. “You have a point about making them too afraid to start again. We don’t want them reforming again.” Climmy stammered, “I... I didn’t think you’d take it seriously... I- I...” He tried to calm himself with a deep breath. “I WAS JOKING!”

Climmy could not be thankful enough that Mahogany Town had an Ice gym. He slid to the gym leader’s podium to ask, “Hey, I’m here to challenge you, but before I do, could I have some ice for my soda? I really need a drink and I use soda as an ineffective alcohol placebo, but I don’t have any ice. Who likes soda without Ice? This isn't Kalos!”

 **39:41** Vs Pryce

Climmy summoned Meganium and became very disappointed when Pryce sent out Seel. While Meganium used his starting move of Leech Seed Climmy snarked, “Define Ice.” Seel inconvenienced Meganium with an Icy Wind that was mostly healed by Leech Seed. (-14 HP, 95→105/109) Climmy glared unamused at Pryce while switching to Forretress who got to lay three layers of Spikes and two of Toxic Spikes without noticing any of the Icy Winds. A Hyper Potion was wasted on Seel then Climmy called for Swagger. When Seel snapped out of confusion he the damage it caused with Rest, but Forretress just used Swagger again. Climmy saw no risk in switching in Ninetales to get her some experience so he switched to her and watched as Seel KOed himself in confusion.

Climmy expected more from Pryce’s second Pokemon, Piloswine, so Climmy switched to Forretress who got splattered by a Mud Bomb. The damage was impressive, but only because it was a Critical Hit. (-44 HP, 66/110) Climmy suggested Protect to give Toxic Spikes more time to drain Piloswine, but it was wasted when Piloswine used Hail. Climmy called for Swagger and Forretress pulled it off while taking another Mud Bomb. (-24 HP, 36→30/110) Protect was used and wasted again on Piloswine’s confusion kicking in. Wanting Leech Seed to be used on the last Pokemon and seeing that Piloswine only had moments left before falling, Climmy switched to Meganium who seem to care about the Mud Bomb launched at him only slightly more than the weather. (-8 HP, 97→91/109) Piloswine went down to Toxic Spikes without providing the challenge Climmy expected.

Pryce sent out his last Pokemon, Dewgong. Meganium used the planned Leech Seed and took Dewgong’s Aurora Beam surprisingly well. (-35 HP, 56→69/109) With Meganium’s job done, Climmy switched to Ninetales as Dewgong healed with Rest. Ninetales cast Confuse Ray as Dewgong used Sleep Talk for an Ice Shard that did nothing after Leech Seed. Climmy had already won, but he want to speed things up, so he switched to Forretress. Dewgong’s Sleep Talk caused Ice Shard again during the switch, but Forretress did not care. (-4 HP) From there it was nothing but Swagger and Protect until Dewgong went down. (Aurora Beam was instantly healed and a +6 Attack Ice Shard dealt only 17 Damage, which became just 4 after Leech Seed.)

 **39:56** Glacier Badge

 

Only a few minutes later the doors to Mahogany Town’s Gym flung open again making Pryce want to complain about not getting enough time to heal his Pokemon. When he got a better look he saw his last challenger at the door and sighed. “Did I forget to give you your badge?” Climmy checked just in case. “Nope, although that does seem to be a problem in this region... Wait where’s my... Aw crap, I left my Plain Badge in the flower shop... Whatever, I’m going by there anyway. There’s a problem with the radio and I’m going to fix it. Want to come? I’ll make a few calls while you think about it and we can talk between the calls if you want.” Pryce was pretty sure he already knew what was going on. “Is it the Magikarp thing?” Climmy shook his head. “I already took care of that. I’d like to tell you how that ended, but you should check out this problem first.” Pryce turned on the radio and couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Climmy fished another call and while dialing the next number casually summed up the broadcast, “Yeah, Team Rocket took over Goldenrod. This is going to be fun.” Pryce started to get uneasy. “How many calls are you making?” Another call finished and Climmy said, “All the calls.” Pryce didn’t understand. “What do you mean ‘All the calls’ and who are you calling?” Climmy didn’t wait to end his current call before answering. “Everyone. Everyone on my contacts list.” Pryce didn’t know what to say, but Climmy did. He paused before dialing another number and asked, “What’s your number?” Pryce still didn’t know what to say, just as Climmy expected. “Imagine if that feeling you have about me right now was caused by someone you were afraid of. That’s how Team Rocket feels about me. When I get angry I become an unstoppable force if you’re in my way, but one of the most entertaining shows on earth if you’re not. I am proof that No Violence is not the opposite of No Mercy.” Pryce finally knew what to say. “I’m coming with you.” Climmy nodded approvingly. “Cool, but what’s your number?”

The Siege of Saffron would be reborn as the Goldenrod’s Raid.

* * *

 **Meganium - Level 35 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Leech Seed  
Grass Whistle  
Poison Powder  
Synthesis

Sometime I wonder why I bother listing the move sets when they don’t change. :P

 **Togetic - Level 31 - Impish (+Def -SpA)**  
Wish  
Sweet Kiss  
Flash  
Encore

I thought Wish would be good, but it’s pretty useless when you don’t want to use the Pokemon that knows it. Confusion moves are only a good main offense until you can beat everything without it. After that, no. Just no.

 **Ninetales - Level 32 - Jolly (+Spe -SpA)**  
Will-o-Wisp  
Roar  
Confuse Ray  
Rest

Ninetales has so much going for her. Will-o-Wisp for everything that’s immune to Poison and Roar can force the current Pokemon out so it gets hit by Toxic Spikes later. Confuse Ray is pretty nice for secondary “offense” because there’s so many turns to waste and Confuse Ray gives you something to do. This move set isn’t changing any time soon, if ever.

 **Forretress - Level 34 - Calm (+SpD -Atk)**  
Toxic Spikes  
Spikes  
Swagger  
Protect

Toxic Spikes may be better than Leech Seed... Swagger as the only offense may seem funny after what I’ve said about confusion, but Forretress is so good as support that I don’t care if his offence. That said, Swagger is really good on a physical tank because the attack boosts make confusion go from a little damage to a lot.

 


	7. The Pacifist on the Warpath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as game play goes, this only has the "battle" against Dude. So little happens in game that I didn't bother with a team update.  
> As far as story goes, chaos happens. Lots and lots of chaos. A lot of pacifists and nice people, but not all of them... >:D

Climmy he never got why everyone in Johto was so eager to exchange phone numbers, but he wasn’t going to complain. However, he was complaining about the next person he was calling. The most annoying person in New Bark Town answered her phone in under a second, “HiClimmyI’msogladyoucalled!” Climmy got to the point to end it quick. “Lyra, calm down. I’m calling everyone on my contacts list to take back Goldenrod City from Team Rocket. Want to-” “Yes!” Climmy rolled his eyes even though he’d seen that coming. “That was easy. Can I ask for a couple of favors.” Lyra agreed before Climmy could say what they were, but he still needed to say what they were. “Do you think your grandparents would be okay if I had a few hundred people meet at their daycare as a rallying point before the Goldenrod Raid?” Lyra knew she’d have to do a ton of favors for her grandparents if she said yes, but she didn’t hesitate to say, “They’d love to.” Climmy felt relieved at the yes. He didn’t know anywhere else close enough to be a good meeting place. “Cool. The other favor is I want you to watch my back.” Climmy could practically hear Lyra blushing. “Oh. Okay!” Climmy “Here’s the interesting part. I want you to act insane, like maybe, oh I don’t know, an obsessive love struck stalker.” Lyra flattened her back against the wall. “Eep!” Climmy hung up and yelled, “Yeah, I saw you looking at me from behind that building. That’s why I think you’re perfect for this.” Lyra came out of hiding and Climmy asked, “I need to make a lot of calls so can we talk between calls?” Lyra said sure and thought about what Climmy was asking. When he hung up she made sure if she understood. “So... because you saw me stalking you, you _want_ me to stalk you?” Climmy started dialing his next number. “Yes, but this time I want you to be like, ‘No one touches my Climmy!’ and look ready to murder the poor idiot if someone tries to attack me from behind. That said, please don’t murder anyone... Stealth is optional, you just have to stalk me and act like a psychopath.” Lyra felt embarrassed about how easy it would be. “O-okay. I’ll do it.” Climmy gave a thumbs up.

 

Climmy stood on the daycare’s roof so all could see him and turned on his microphone. “Hello contacts list!” The contacts list to cheered. “Thank you all for coming! Before I give the real speech, I’m going to give the speech Team Rocket expects. Ahem, Team Rock Boys! The end is nigh for I am the apocalypse!” Climmy played Flowey’s nightmare inducing laugh. “Hear ye and woe as my knights of the apocalypse scream for thy end!” A Rocket at Goldenrod’s southern gate couldn’t see how many people there were, but thought it would be a good idea bail early. Climmy bowed. “Thank you, and man that feels stupid said out loud. I think I should mention that thanks to the help of the Super Nerds here that speech was broadcast throughout Goldenrod. Let’s give them a hand!” Climmy paused for applause. “Before I start my real speech I have some sexy bikini clad friends ready to give some gifts to everyone who came.” Attractive people throughout the crowd literally tore their clothes off to reveal bikinis and posed before opening their bags to retrieve T-Shirt Cannons. Climmy grinned and declared, “Shirts for everyone!” As all the bikini clad men fired into the air, he thought he should hire male strippers more often.

When the shirt frenzy died down Climmy began his speech. “In the universe I come from Team Rocket disbanded two years ago and have not returned. In that universe I not only ended Team Rocket, but I destroyed them, their repetition, and their dignity. All that remains is fear of Yo boi Clim-may! I don’t know how I ended up in this universe, but what I do know is that we’re doing a reenactment of alternate history. Undertale, the friendly RPG where no one has to die, doesn’t exist in this world, so I had to find something else to weaponise. Instead of rubbing good morals in their faces again we’re taking a different approach to cause self loathing. We are weaponising...” In Goldenrod Team Rocket listened for Climmy’s plan but heard only the static of speakers cutting off. Climmy tossed the remote over his shoulder and tore off his shirt to reveal a stolen uniform. “Team Rocket! Look at your free shirts and feel their despair!” Climmy went on to explain his plan, one that could be summed up as have fun and go nuts.

 

The plan started simple, Teleport in with all the Abra Climmy had bought with his leftover Voltorb Flip winnings and infiltrate until busted. Climmy was thinking that would last five minutes at most, but the goal was to make Team Rocket have an “Oh crap” moment right before phase two. Some of the army will act like they’re supposed to be in places Team Rocket doesn’t want them, some will distract Rockets so others can plant the seeds of their own plans, and a few fishermen were making Team Rocket look even more incompetent than they really were by fighting bystanders with a team of six Magikarp. Climmy however, took the biggest job for himself. He looked through the radio tower’s front door and called to Team Rocket’s guard. “Hello, I’m late so can someone let me in?” The guard was skeptical. “How did you get lost on the way to the largest city in the region?” Climmy sighed dramatically, “I knew I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.” Amazingly, the guard bought it. “Okay, what’s the password?” Climmy knew he was busted. “Uhhhhhhhhh... How many tries do I get?” The guard, apparently oblivious to the blatant imposter, unsurely answered, “Um, three, I guess?” Climmy really wanted this idiot to figure things out, so he went for the obvious guesses. “Password?” “No.” “One Two Three Four Five?” “No.” Climmy didn’t know of a third obvious password, so he used an offensive accent for the last guess. “Hail Giovanni!” The guard started unlocking the door. “Okay, come in.” Climmy glared in annoyed disappointment at the idiot. “Seriously?” The guard finally realized something was up. “You were just guessing? I thought you were messing with me for the first two guesses!” Climmy’s palm met his face. “How’d you not realize I was an imposter when I was saying ‘Uh’ for a few seconds while doing shifty eyes?” The idiot slammed and relocked the door. Climmy yelled through the door, “Can we start over? I know you’re busy with the invasion, but I had plans for today and don’t want to change them, so I don’t mean to be rude, not that I care if I am, but could I have a tour of the radio tower?” The no implied by the guard’s hand gesture was clear, but Climmy tried again. “Let me rephrase that. Everyone on my contacts list, which is... let’s see... 196 people, and I would like a tour of the radio tower. Today. So please leave and have a nice day.” The Rocket growled a no dripping with hatred and impatience before spending minutes glaring at the Climmy, waiting for the intruder to leave. When Climmy started to get a little bored he walked away. The Rocket spent a few more moments watching just in case before turning to return to the wall he had been leaning against, but Climmy was leaning there savoring the bug eyed look of the idiot. “I let myself in.” He petted the Abra at his side. “I  need a moment to lose my sanity before I kick you out. After that I’ll take a tour of what’s left of the tower. Would you like to run in terror now?” Two floor above, someone could have sworn they heard the screaming of, “Are you serious!” Climmy grinned. “Yo boi Clim-may does declare, Run. In. Terror. Understand amigo?” The Rocket tried the hilariously horrible idea of punching Climmy in the face only to get a metaphorical shock at Climmy grabbing the punch and a literal shock from a joy buzzer in Climmy’s palm. “Run. In. Terror.” The Rocket ran and Climmy thought to himself that the working out he’s been doing every day with his Pokemon had paid off for just that one moment. He was wrong. Seeing the security footage on the news the next day was the moment that made it worth it.

Dude had some personal grudges with Team Rocket he wanted to settle and their takeover of Goldenrod looked like a chance for payback. He wasn’t sure if luck or incompetence was the reason the door was open until he recognized the Rocket leaning against the wall. “What are you doing?” Climmy answered honestly, “I’ve arranged a counterattack against Team Rocket made of everyone on my contacts list. Currently we’re infiltrating in uniforms I looted from their base in Mahogany Town, but when Team Rocket realizes what’s going on all chaos will break loose. My infiltration is currently replacing the guard I scared off.” Dude tried to tear Climmy’s shirt off and Climmy complained, “Dude, I’ve only got my underwear under this disguise!” Dude didn’t care. “You’ve got clothes in your bag put those on.” Climmy tried another approach. “Are you just stripping me because you think I’m attractive?” Dude’s grip tightened, but Climmy went on, “If you are, I’m okay with gay people, but I’m strait.” Dude’s screeching drew the attention of some Rockets upstairs, one of which came down to check and demanded, “What’s going on?” An idea struck Climmy. “Nothing to worry about, he’s just trying to strip me... I think I’ll let him.” Climmy slipped out of his shirt and took his pants off too, flinging them at the Rocket. “Streaking! Woo!” Climmy ran outside leaving a dumbfounded Rocket with one very angry dude and Climmy had faith that Dude could take down a floor or two. The first victim thought out loud, “I don’t think I can come close to that crazy...” and Lyra’s Marill paid the price.

Climmy didn’t quite feel like just streaking in his underwear would traumatize Team Rocket enough, so went shopping for a hat and fake mustache for cosplaying his favorite Mario Odyssey outfit, Boxers and a Sombrero... Then he went streaking.

Judging by the amount of chaos in the streets, phase two had begun. Bursts of smoke bombs followed by flurries of duct tape took down real Rockets while the fake ones escaped to ambush more, Rocket fought Rocket with fakes purposefully challenging other fakes to trick the real ones into thinking they were real too, and in the distance Climmy saw the glow of evolution then heard the roaring of Gyrados. Clearly, someone had given the Fishermen a stash of Rare Candies. Speaking of food, now felt a good time for lunch. The Italian restaurant’s patio had a really nice view of the streets, was a safe distance away from all the Gyrados, and didn’t have a no shirt no shoes rule!

 

Climmy had been getting reports that no one could raid the radio tower throughout lunch and when he returned he saw Dude had been waiting for him. “Oh, if I knew you were waiting for me I wouldn’t have stopped for stromboli.” Dude, too angry to speak, tore a Pokeball from his belt. Climmy sent out Meganium and imitated Mario, “Lets-a go!”

**41:39** Vs Dude

Dude threw Golbat into battle against Meganium. Meganium started with Leech Seed and Golbat lashed out with  Air Cutter. (-30 HP 83→93/112) Climmy switched to Forretress to lay down Spikes and Toxic Spikes as Golbat unleashed a barrage of Air Cutters.* Forretress barely noticed the attacks thanks to Leech Seed. Dude realized Air Cutter wasn’t working so he tried Confuse Ray, but it all it did was give Forretress a break from the barrage. When Golbat went down, Forretress was at full health.

Dude released Quilava and told it to kill Forretress. Climmy wasn’t happy about that, but Dude was even less happy when Climmy switched to Ninetales who was immune to Flame Wheel. Ninetales seemed uncaring about Quilava’s Swift (-11 HP, 95/106) as she Roared to unsummon the minor annoyance. Dude sent out Magnimite and ordered Thunder Wave while Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp. Magnimite then blasted Ninetales with Sonicboom before being Roared away. Quilava was resummoned and Dude demanded all out attacks. Swift proved to be as ineffective as before (-12 HP, 63/106) and Ninetales showed complete indifference as she used Rest. While Ninetales slept Quilava used Quick Attack and scored a Critical Hit with Swift before going down.*

Dude slammed a Pokeball onto the battlefield to send out Haunter. Ninetales cast another Will-o-Wisp and was dazed by Haunter’s Confuse Ray, but the latter didn’t matter when Climmy switched to Meganium and Dude’s rage grew as Haunter’s Mean Look trapped the wrong Pokemon. Haunter blasted Meganium with Shadow Ball (-30 HP, 63→72/112) and Meganium retaliated with Leech Seed. Haunter cast Confuse Ray again as Megainium used Synthesis then battered him with a barrage of Shadow Balls while Meganium’s confusion added to the pain, but Haunter still went down first.

Dude summoned Sneasel to finish off Meganium, but Climmy called him back and released Ninetales. Seeing that Faint Attack was fairly powerful* Climmy suggested Rest. Sneasel tried to take out Ninetales while she slept, but it wasn’t quite strong enough and Ninetales used Rest again. Sneasel fainted from Toxic Spikes and Dude’s last Pokemon, Magnimite, had already taken heavy damage from Spikes and a burn so victory would come soon, but Climmy still switched to Meganium for Leech Seed to speed it up. Magnimite failed to put up a fight with a Supersonic that did nothing and a Sonicboom that missed.

**41:52** Dude was defeated by a streaking Mario Cosplayer...  


“I don’t blame you for hating me, but I’ve never gone out of my way to annoy you. You just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and I’m sorry about that. The only time I tried to annoy you was after you tried tearing my clothes off. Now if you excuse me, I have idiots to terrify.” Climmy jumped up the stairs. “It’s a-me, Clim-my boi! Where’d everyone go?”

  


Either Dude had cleared out the floor and Team Rocket hadn’t tried reclaiming it yet or they fled to prepare for the pacifist on the warpath. The possibility of the latter made Climmy wonder if there was a better way to the top floor and it didn’t take him long to think of a better way. He called a School Kid, “Hey Alan, this is Climmy, didn’t you say you caught an Xatu?” Alan had and Climmy asked him to meet him at the base of the radio tower. When they came Alan and Xatu were glad to help Climmy. As a Flying Type, Xatu could fly Climmy to outside the top floor and, as a Psychic Type, it could open a window and levitate him in. Climmy picked an out of the way window and snuck to the broadcasting room. He thought with mock pity how it was a shame that everyone was watching the stairs.

The Rockets broadcasting had their message had some door banging sounds in the background so they changed their message for a moment. “Hang on, we seem to experiencing some technical difficulties.” The broadcasters prepared to face Climmy, but he just waved and walked away. They took a collective sigh of relief and then the sound of fear itself came from the middle of the room, “Hi.” Climmy was standing there smugly watching most of the Rockets flee. With a laugh he had an Abra Teleport him out. The remaining Rocket angrily wondered what the point was. Climmy skipped through the now unlocked door. “Hey, you left the door open.” The last Rocket called Climmy out about his hypocrisy. “How can you call yourself a pacifist?” Climmy looked around for a moment to check the status before grabbing the microphone, “This is going to be hilarious, so good thing you forgot to stop broadcasting. Anyway, I’m going to look up and read the definition of pacifism.”

pac·i·fism

ˈpasəˌfizəm/

_noun_

noun: **pacifism**

  * the belief that any violence, including war, is unjustifiable under any circumstances, and that all disputes should be settled by peaceful means.



Climmy pondered for a moment before justifying himself. “War may not be the right word for what I do.” The Rocket wasn’t close to the microphone, but his screaming was still clear over the radio. “Seriously! You try to make us surrender with force!” Climmy countered, “You guys use force, I just shrug it off and tell you to surrender peacefully.” The Rocket couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. “How do you believe what you’re saying?” Climmy laughed, “How do you believe someone who fights Team Rocket is a bad guy? But let’s check the definition for violence just to be sure.”

vi·o·lence

ˈvī(ə)ləns/

_noun_

noun: **violence**

  * behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something.



Climmy started to see a mental breakdown coming. “I think the closest thing is my plant flipping habit, but I make sure I don’t hurt the plants when they’re put back down. Something about hurting plants feels wrong...” The screaming was now louder than Climmy over the radio. “You flooded our base!” The Rocket had a good point, but unfortunately, Climmy was a master of insanity. “Okay, first of all, that wasn’t me. Really, it was actually Lance. Anyway, I can see why you think that was vandalism, but to me it was repurposing your base as a Magikarp shelter... Oh, and as for the Sevii Islands base I destroyed in an alternate timeline, that was me, but it was deconstruction of an illegally built structure. I know you didn’t know about the latter, but I still wanted to justify it.” The Rocket had finally reached his breaking point. “Will you stop acting like Mahatma ****ing Gandhi?” Climmy acted mildly annoyed by the comparison. “I never said I was anything like Gandhi. Did Gandhi ever use Poison, Spikes, or Vampiric Plants? Gandhi turns the other cheek, I climb in ceilings and flip potted plants.” Climmy waited for a response and when none came he reveled in the mental breakdown. “Hey, you look twitchy! I like it when you guys look twi- Ow! Why is your Raticate biting my hand? The last time a Pokemon bit my hand things went badly then escalated many times. Do you want to see what happens when I get angry?” A guttural scream of die merely amused Climmy. “I will die when I choose to die, but for now...” With a snap of his fingers Climmy’s Abra Teleported him out and throughout the Radio Tower the Abra army Climmy had gifted to other trainers teleported in groups of reinforcements that outnumbered the invading Rockets and the fun began. Soon Goldenrod Radio was the number one source of dubstep in Johto. Even though Climmy hated dubstep, he was loving hearing it over the radio.

 

Climmy streaked through the streets challenging any Rockets  that still dared to mess with him with his radio blaring ear pain. It wasn’t long until more reports about a place the invasion was having trouble invading came in. With sadistic glee Climmy strolled in to the underground to meet two Rockets staring at the entrance, one in horror, one in resignation. The embodiment of psychological torture waited to see what they’d do. The one who’d accepted his fate asked the other, “My life was nice while it lasted, what about yours?” Two people burst out laughing, one from amusement, one from delirium. The amused horror spoke, “I’m going to leave you two alone if you leave me alone.” He pointed to the Rocket who joked, “I like you,” then to the Rocket who’d gone mad, “and I think I’ve done enough by just letting you look upon ye mighty and despair.” The Rockets thought they were off the hook, but as the horror walked by them he whispered, “Have a nice day.” One Rocket, driven to tears, started having a mental breakdown and the other started having trouble accepting his fate now that he was completely unsure on if anything was coming.

Climmy destroyed the self respect of any Rocket he found and the few lurking burglars unrelated to them, but couldn’t find anything interesting until he stumbled across the department store’s basement. Climmy didn’t get why it seemed like a labyrinth of boxes, but he figured the people who work here know where everything is. In a tucked away corner Climmy saw why Team Rocket bothered with the underground, a Rocket Admin had what Climmy assumed was the radio tower’s director tied to a chair. The admin, apparently oblivious to who he was facing, smugly mocked the clearly lost kid in his underwear and a sombrero. “So, you want to play hero?” Climmy shrugged. “Nah, I want to be a pacifist but some people think that moves like Leech Seed and Will-o-Wisp aren’t very passive, so I’m just going to ask this children’s toy what to do.” Climmy rummaged through one of the boxes while the Rocket made sure he head right, “uh... what?” Climmy held the toy aloft for all to see before asking, “Oh Magic Conch Shell, what should I ask my Pokemon to do?” Climmy pulled the toy’s string and listened to the wisdom of cheep plastic and electronics. “Nothing.” Climmy took the advice to heart and praised, “All hail the Magic Conch! Forretress, the Magic Conch Shell suggests doing nothing!” Climmy summoned Forretress and then asked another question. “While we do nothing, Dogsong. Yes or yes?” He pulled the string and the Magic Conch answered, “Very Yes.” Climmy praised and obeyed.

The admin should have suspected something, like maybe the rumors of why their base was abandon were true and he was facing the man from those rumors, but instead he just had his Pokemon wear down Forretress until Climmy used a Full Restore. The admin was more amused by the waste of a Full Restore than annoyed, but became more annoyed after Forretress was almost defeated and Climmy used another Full Restore. When Climmy needed to heal Forretress a third time he withdrew a crowbar from his bag to pry open a crate of Full Restores, dropped in ~~P~~ 3000, and rolled his eyes at the twitchy moron. “You’re fighting in a department store basement, what did you expect?” The admin wasn’t making any funny screeching noises yet, so Climmy rubbed it in farther. “Hasn’t you heard of yo boi Clim-may? He is the pacifist on the warpath! People fight I. I not fight back. People lose.”

  


When Officer Jenny showed up to arrest the Rocket admin the radio tower’s director spoke up. “Thank you so much. Now, could you cut these ropes for me?” Climmy apologized, “Sorry, I don’t have anything to cut with.” He paused remembering something that could cut the ropes. “Unless you’re stupid enough to say yes to a chainsaw...” The director said something that had been said a lot that day, “You can’t be serious.” Climmy dug through his bag. “I get that a lot. This bag’s bigger on the inside, like a Pokeball. Pretty annoying when I need to find anything, but, ah, here it is.” The director’s eyes widened at the chainsaw and with a smile Climmy dropped it back in. “You’re right though, I wouldn’t dare risk it. I’m thinking I could drag you and the chair out of here. When we get outside we can get help and carry you back to the radio tower. Think of that part like a Bar Mitzvah.” The director uneasily asked, “What’s a Bar Mitzvah?” Climmy explained, “It’s a Jewish coming of age ceremony for thirteenth birthdays where people sing Hava Nagila and make you go crowd surfing on a chair. I’m not Jewish so I don’t know all the details, but I’m pretty sure the stuff I know about is close to the truth.”*

The director started some limbering stretches upon being cut free. “Thank you so much. There’s a rare item in my office, but I think it’d be better off with someone that could use it than as just a pretty decoration.” As much as Climmy wanted to take the reward, he had to suggest one last idea first, “Actually, before you take back control of the radio tower, what if I told we can do more damage to Team Rocket?” The director scoffed, “How? They’re all under arrest.” Climmy grinned. “Are you sure about that?”

  


A few hours later a man arrived at Goldenrod to be greeted by three of his allies. He had been waiting for this day for years. “Ah, my loyal team.” The turquoise haired grunt yelled, “Put your hands in the air, you’re under arrest!” Giovanni and the grunt in the middle both screamed, “What!” The grunt hastily added, “Uh, I mean yay?” The third grunt said with amused cruelty, “Let’s turn on the radio” Giovanni’s heart sank at the DJ’s speech, “Now that Giovanni is here we can get back to playing some tunes! We’ve been free for a few hours, but we just kept the Rocket broadcast going to lure Giovanni here for his arrest, so let’s give it up for Rick Astley!” Giovanni was speechless as the rick roll began. After the famous line he said, “You can’t be serious...” The third so called Rocket showed his true hideous colors. “Mah Man Dude! Wasn’t this plan like totally the bees knees? I did worry ever so much that our sick droppin’ of da bass with wubba lubba dub dub step would make you know it’s a trap, but you not heared it or you not thinked it.” A vein pulsed in Giovanni’s head. “Who do you think you are?” The annoying guy introduced himself, “It’s yo boi Clim-may, the pacifist on the war path! In an alternate universe or timeline where I’m an anti-violence psychopath instead of just a really good trainer I destroyed your old chaps so completely that no one wanted to risk reviving it.” Giovanni couldn’t handle being around this guy and said nothing in hopes that he’s shut up. It didn’t work. “I is not joking about that, but I is angering you with me shifting annoying accentz and having a jolly good time with it Mah Man Dude!” The middle Rocket nervously tried to leave. “We did a good job here, so I’ll be going now.” Climmy didn’t let him. “No you willn’t. Officer Jenny, this guy’s a Rocket. I just brought him here to see the look on his face.” The real Rocket whined, “You’re so mean...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP changes for Forretress against Golbat were the following. Air Slash was the only attack used and C Ray is short for Confuse Ray.
> 
> (Start) 116/116  
> (-18 HP) 98→109  
> (-18 HP) 91→102  
> (C Ray) 113  
> (-14 HP) 97→108  
> (-16 HP) 92→103  
> (Miss) 114  
> (Protect) 116  
> (C Ray) 116/116
> 
> HP Changes for Meganium against Haunter after Synthesis were the following. Shadow Ball was the only attack used.
> 
> (Synthesis) 112/112  
> (-33 HP) 79→71→80  
> (-33 HP) 47→39→42/112
> 
> HP changes for Ninetales against Quilava after the last Rest and Sneasel were the following. R is short for Rest and Sneasel only used Faint Attack.
> 
> (Rest used) 106/106  
> (Quick Attack -10 HP) 96  
> (Swift Crit -25 HP) 71/106  
> (Level Up!) 74/109
> 
> Switch out
> 
> (Sent Back In) 74/109  
> (R, -25 HP) 49→109  
> (-28 HP) 81  
> (-25 HP) 54  
> (R, -25 HP) 29→109  
> (-27 HP) 82/109
> 
>  
> 
> The crowd surfing is just lifting the chair and there has to be more than just the chair thing for Bar Mitzvahs. Also, if there’s any Jewish readers, please correct me if I’m wrong about anything about Bar Mitzvahs.
> 
> P.S. Don’t ask how the Pokemon World could have the Jewish religion in a world where Arceus is known to be god.


	8. Blackthorn City

With Team Rocket defeated, and his Plain Badge back, and a reward of the radio director’s pretty silver feather Climmy felt on top of the world. It’s an ironic feeling when you’re underground, but the temperature of the tallest mountain tops can’t be too far off from the Ice Path’s sheer cold. Despite the temperature, he met two people, but in the Kimono Girl’s defense, she’d only stayed as long as she had because her slippers had frozen to the floor. The other person had dropped his HM 07 Waterfall and asked Climmy for help getting it back. Climmy asked back, “Have you used it?” The trainer thought for a moment. “No, but my Seaking already knows Waterfall.” Climmy thought that was close enough to a yes. “Do you want any other Pokemon to learn Waterfall?” The trainer again said no and Climmy decided not to help. “If you don’t need it and I don’t want it then I don’t see why I should get it.” The trainer would have persuaded anyone else with, “But you need it to get through Tohjo Falls.” but Climmy didn’t care. “If I’m determined enough to get this far with Status Moves Only then what makes you think I’m not determined enough to make my own path through Tohjo Falls?”

 

Blackthorn City could barely be called a city. It wasn’t more than rocks, ledges, and a few scattered buildings. It did have the important ones like the Pokemon Center and gym, which Climmy obviously visited in that order, but it’s not really a city without all the useless buildings that no one cares about.

 

Climmy’s first thought in Johto’s final gym was wondering how many safety codes a floor of lava broke. He guessed all of them. His second thought was about the heat. On the one hand, it’s a nice change of pace after the Ice Path, but on the other hand, the lava’s hot enough to make him miss the Ice Path. Maybe he should go somewhere with normal temperatures after this, like Cainwood. Anyway, he really hoped it would be cooler on the island where the gym leader stood.

 

Before his challenge Climmy warned, “When I called Lance about a gym leader refusing to give me my badge he guessed it was you, so listen carefully. Whatever happens, deal with it. If I win, just give me the badge. You do not want to make me angry.” Clair didn’t care.

 

 

 **46:04** Vs Clair

 

Climmy lead with Meganium and Clair with the “technically not a Dragon Type but close enough” Gyrados. Meganium used Leech Seed and Gyrados blasted him with Dragon Rage. (-40 HP, 87→103/127) Meganium’s job was done, so Climmy called him back and released Forretress who was immediately blasted by another Dragon Rage.* When Climmy called for Toxic Spikes and Clair called for yet another Dragon Rage, Climmy knew that was her best move and came up with a simple plan. With the amount of damage Leech Seed was healing, Forretress could use Protect, use a spike move, and repeat without taking much damage. Climmy knew from experience when Clair was likely to use a Hyper Potion and asked for Spikes instead of Protect and to Clair’s annoyance, he was right. After the last layer of Spikes was laid Climmy called for Swagger and stared disappointedly at what Gyrados was using now that its Dragon Rage was out of Power Points, Twister. Seeing a move that dealt less than half of what Leech Seed healed made Climmy tempted to slow clap, but then the more impressive Swagger boosted Bite dealt only enough damage to cancel out Leech Seed’s healing, Climmy didn’t think Clair needed the sarcastic message. It didn’t help when Gyrados’s confusion made it put itself out of its misery.

Clair’s sent out her second Pokemon, the “Actually a Dragon Type” Dragonair. To scout its moveset Climmy suggested Protect and Fire Blast proved that Protect was a good idea. Turns out Clair is very competent. Climmy switched to Ninetales to absorb the next Fire Blast and Climmy’s heart sunk when he found out Dragonair’s ability, Shed Skin. This could suck, but the Toxic Spikes could affect Dragonair again if it was forced out, so Climmy asked for Roar. While Ninetales was starting the Roar Dragonair used Thunder Wave. Despite the Paralysis, Ninetales managed to use Roar.

Clair summoned her Kingdra making Climmy switch to Meganium. Kingdra fired off a Hydro Pump when Meganium was sent in (-27 HP, 79/130) and blasted a Dragon Pulse when Meganium used Leech Seed. (-45 HP, 34→49/130) Kingdra was proving to be dangerous, but the drain from Toxic Spikes and Leech Seed meant that the danger wouldn’t last long. Climmy switched to Forretress to take the next Dragon Pulse (-27 HP, 72→87/129) then called for Protect to block Hydro Pump and Kingdra fell.

Dragonair returned to battle and Climmy switched to Ninetales to absorb the obvious Fire Blast. Climmy wanted Spikes to wear down Clair’s Pokemon because of Shed Skin curing poison, so he called for Roar again. Dragonair blasted Ninetales with Dragon Pulse (-31 HP, 87/118) and Paralysis failed to stop Roar again.

Clair’s final Pokemon was, to Climmy’s disappointment, another Dragonair. Looks like another leader got struck by the “native to the region only Pokemon” rule. Climmy, suspecting a Super Effective move, switched to Forretress and was glad he did when Dragonair slammed Forretress with Aqua Tail. (-16 HP, 86/129) Climmy called for Swagger, but the first one failed allowing Dragonair to fire two Dragon Pulses. (-23 & -20 HP, 65/129 → 45/129) Forretress used Protect incase the confusion failed to prevent an attack and Dragonair slammed the barrier with another Aqua Tail. Amazing, Shed Skin never cured the Poison from Toxic Spikes and Dragonair went down.

The first Dragonair was resummoned for a final stand. Predicting Fire Blast again, Climmy switched to Ninetales, but Clair used a Full Restore instead of ordering an attack. Dragonair blasted Ninetales with Dragon Pulse (-31 HP, 56/118) and she retaliated with Confuse Ray. Climmy switched back to Forretress because there was one move Shed Skin couldn’t stop, but it couldn’t be used until Fire Blast ran out of Power Points. On the switch Dragonair used Dragon Pulse (-21 HP, 24/129) then to block Fire Blast Forretress used Protect, but Dragonair hit itself in confusion instead of attacking. Climmy wasn’t risking a second Protect and switched to Ninetales instead. Only one of the two remaining Fire Blasts had been used and Forretress was really low on health. Ninetales couldn’t take much more, so Climmy called for Rest, but Paralysis prevented it. Fortunately, Dragonair also didn’t attack due to its confusion. Dragonair snapped out of confusion and blasted Ninetales with Dragon Pulse, (-31 HP, 25/118) but it effectively did nothing after Ninetales used Rest. Dragonair unleashed a barrage of Dragon Pulses while Ninetales slept (-30 & -28 HP, 88/118 → 60/118) and as Ninetales woke up and cast Will-o-Wisp the barrage ended with a Critical Hit to end Ninetales’s resistance. To lure out the last Fire Blast Climmy released Forretress and used Protect. Forretress couldn’t do too much at this point, so there wasn’t much risk other than guilt if Climmy made a risk and it didn’t pay off, so to see what was next Climmy suggested Protect again. Protect succeeded in blocking Slam making Climmy more comfortable with a risk, he called Forretress back and resummoned Meganium who was still hurting from Kingdra. As Meganium came out Dragonair fired Dragon Pulse at him (-28 HP, 21/130) and Climmy knew Synthesis was needed badly. Leech Seed could wait if using it now meant that Meganium would be knocked out, but the choice of moves wouldn’t matter if Dragonair could KO Meganium before he could Synthesis. Dragonair fired another Dragon Pulse at Meganium, but he had already used Synthesis. (+65 & -27 HP, 86→59/130) Meganium then used Leech Seed to secure victory. Somehow Shed Skin hadn’t healed the burn from earlier, so all Dragonair could do before going down was Thunder Wave. With a thud from Dragonair, Climmy had won what had been by far his most difficult challenge of Johto so far.

 **46:20** Clair Down

 

Clair’s outraged disbelief of what just happened was the same as the one Climmy had seen on many Rockets. “I won't admit this. I may have lost, but you're still not ready for the Pokémon League. I know.” Climmy coughed so Clair would notice his irritated raising of an eyebrow and lethal glare. She noticed, but didn’t appear to know who she was antagonizing. “You should take the dragon user challenge. Behind this Gym is a place called Dragon's Den. There is a small shrine at its heart. Go there. If you can prove that you've lost your lazy ideals-” “ **YOU DON’T ****ING DARE MOCK MY IDEALS!** APOLAGIZE OR I WILL TEAR THIS GYM APPART WITH MY **BARE HANDS** LETTING THE LAVA FLOW THROUGH YOUR HOUSE AND **THEN** I’LL MAKE YOUR LIFE **A LIVING HELL!** ” Clair stood in shock, finally realizing who she had pissed off. The pacifist on the warpath trembled in nearly uncontrollable rage and his eyes twitched and blinked as though he were possessed, adding to his almost visible aura of pure hatred. Clair accidently whispered two words out loud, “...holy ****...” Climmy yanked his phone from a pocket and demanded, “I have Lance’s number! Apologize!” Clair could barely squeak out a sorry. “When I calm down, I’m going to the Dragon’s Den because a ‘respectable’ gym leader told me to.” Climmy couldn’t go until the next morning.

When Clair followed to confirm that Climmy wasn’t worthy, the head elder asked wearily, “Did you really question his ideals?” Clair squeaked out a yes and the elder sighed with his head buried in his hand. “Give him the badge.”

 **46:46** Raising Badge

* * *

**Meganium - Level 41 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Leech Seed  
Grass Whistle  
Poison Powder  
Synthesis

Grass Whistle and Poison Powder are mostly useless with Toxic Spikes. I think I’m going to replace Poison Powder with Protect.

 **Ninetales - Level 39 - Jolly (+Spe -SpA)**  
Will-o-Wisp  
Roar  
Confuse Ray  
Rest

With Ninetales’s speed, Sleep Talk over Confuse Ray might be interesting for Normal Priority Roars, but it’s not anything I feel like testing.

 **Forretress - Level 40 - Calm (+SpD -Atk)**  
Toxic Spikes  
Spikes  
Swagger  
Protect

You’d think I’d use him as a lead, but sending in Meganium first for Leech Seed helps you endure while setting up Entry Hazards and gives you one or two spare turns for Protect before the opponent goes down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP changes for Forretress against Gyrados were the following. Any attack that dealt 40 Damage was Dragon Rage. (Blocked attacks are crossed out.)
> 
> (Start) 126/126  
> (-40 HP) 86→102  
> (-40 HP) 62→78  
> (Protect) 94  
> (-40 HP) 54→70  
> (Protect) 86  
> (-40 HP) 46→62  
> (Protect) 78  
> (Hyper Potion) 94  
> (-40 HP) 54→70  
> (Protect) 86/126  
> (Twister -6 HP) 80→96  
> (Bite -16 HP) 80→96/126


	9. Final Obstacles Before the Pokemon League

Climmy had been invited to Ecruteak’s dance theater and judging by Lyra’s excitement it was a huge deal. Big enough for her to stop him from going to the Pokemon League anyway. Climmy went after closing time, so he wouldn’t interrupt a show, and knocked. One of the Kimono Girls let him in and offered some tea. Climmy wanted to get to the point. “No tea, but thanks. I’m glad I’m not kicked out for life after my tap and break dancing, but why’d you ask me here?” Another Kimono Girl couldn’t hide her excitement when she asked, “It it true? Do you have the Silver Wing?” Climmy didn’t know what they were talking about, but on a hunch he guessed his feather. The Kimono Girls admired it as though it was a sacred artifact and Climmy asked, “Wing? I thought it was just a pretty feather. How big of a deal is this?” Climmy was lead onto the stage and told they needed to see if he was worthy of facing the Legendary Pokemon Lugia.

The five Kimono Girls challenged Climmy with Vaporeon, Jolteon, Flareon, Espeon, and Umbreon and he bested them all without much effort. They took their losses with stride and asked Climmy to meet them at the bottom of the Whirl Islands. Climmy didn’t know how he’d get past the whirlpools without help, so he asked if they could travel together.

 

Climmy would have been very happy to learn about Olivine City’s ferry service if it weren’t for one thing. “Why didn’t anyone tell me about this before Cainwood!”

 

Climmy didn’t know his way through the caverns beneath the Whirl Islands, but the Kimono Girls clearly did. He stuck close on their way to the bottom and knew they were in the right cavern by how magnificent it was. A thin path just below a massive lake’s surface lead to a small illuminated island. Climmy couldn’t wait to take in all the beauty and eagerly took the lead. Stalagmites on the corners of the island had been carved with spots for softly glowing bells to hang, the far walls were also illuminated so a waterfall surrounding half the lake could be seen, and in the middle of the island was what Climmy guessed to be an altar. Climmy didn’t need to be told to place the Silver Wing on it. The Kimono Girls began a sacred dance around the altar and the Silver Wing began to raise. Climmy felt some kind of indescribable energy flow throughout the cavern, stirred by ancient ritual, and bells began to chime in time with the dance. Climmy, awestruck by everything happening, almost wanted to applaud the Kimono Girls when their dance eventually came to an end. Faint rumbling from behind the waterfall began and the bell’s chiming died down for a brief calm before the storm. Lugia burst through and roared before looking down upon the one who dared face the Legendary Pokemon of the depths.

 **47:46** Vs Lugia

In his excitement Climmy tore the wrong Pokeball from his belt and had an extremely awkward moment when he saw the Abra he’d brought for Teleport come out. This Abra was a Bold one and wanted to face Lugia, even if it was hopeless, and Climmy couldn’t deny Abra the slim chance of glory it seeked. Amazingly, Lugia started with Rain Dance which let Abra use Flash. Lugia’s first attack missed allowing a second Flash, but Lugia’s next attack’s aim was true and landed one hit knockout on the poor Abra. Climmy would latter to admit to Abra, that he was more impressive than he’d expected.

Climmy sent in Ninetales for Confuse Ray, but the confusion did next to nothing, even when it did kick in. When Ninetales took her first hit Aeroblast nearly took her out, but it was a Critical Hit, so Climmy asked for Rest knowing Ninetales could probably endure anything except Hydro Pump after Rain Dance, but Hydro Pump always missed. Lugia’s ability of Pressure only allowed five Confuse Rays before Climmy needed to switch to do anything, but Climmy had left Ninetales in long enough to make sure that Hydro Pump and Aeroblast had run out of Power Points.

Forretress’s Swagger could actually cause damage to happen, but it caused more than Climmy wanted. Lugia was near its limit (High Red Health) and still confused when Climmy switched to Meganium. Climmy called for Grass Whistle, but two misses let Lugia use Extrasensory two times. Meganium had to use Synthesis before going for a third Grass Whistle and Lugia fired off a third Extrasensory before finally falling asleep. Before throwing the first Lure Ball (Climmy wanted Lugia caught with style!) Climmy suggested Synthesis. Lugia burst out of the first ball without effort, confirming what Climmy suspected, this was going to be tough. It woke up, making Meganium use Grass Whistle again, but it worked quickly this time and Meganium didn’t need to heal yet. Climmy threw a second Lure Ball and it shook once. It shook twice making Climmy raise an eyebrow. It shook three times. Climmy had an amused thought, “Okay, you can break out now.” It clicked.

 **47:57** Lugia Caught! (For the Lure Ball shaking I wrote my real life reaction.)

 

Lyra gushed with excitement at Climmy’s return. “You’re back! What did they want to see you for?” Climmy said everything needed to say to explain everything. “This.” Lyra’s jaw dropped at the Legend Climmy had summoned. Climmy rolled his eyes like it was just another Pokemon and sounded bored as he asked, “Can I go to the Pokemon League now?”

 

Climmy had needed only a glance at Tohjo Falls to determine there was no way he could swim through, but from what he could tell he could the only reason he needed to go though Tohjo Falls was a ledge just outside. Based on his nonexistent knowledge of geology, Climmy determined that the ledge was made of a type of rock soft enough for a chainsaw to be able carve stairs in. Climmy revved and started to sing, “Oh, I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay...” Before he could start carving he heard an annoyed voice, “What are you doing?” Climmy cut the power and turned to face Dude. “Oh, um... Hi... Do you really want to know?” Dude sighed. “...Sure...” Climmy gestured with his chainsaw. “I was going to carve out stairs so I wouldn’t have to teach a Pokemon Waterfall.” Dude’s face didn’t change, clearly used to Climmy’s shenanigans. Climmy felt an awkward silence coming and suggested, “Want to fight me?

 **50:05** Vs Dude

The trainers summoned their lead Pokemon. Climmy had Meganium as usual, but Dude’s lead was Sneasel this time. Before Meganium could move Sneasel used Quick Attack, but it was healed easily when Meganium used Leech Seed. (-9 HP, 128→137/137) Climmy then switched to Forretress for Spikes and Toxic Spike like he did in almost every other challenge. When Quick Attack was healed instantly Sneasel started using Faint Attack, but apart from two of the saddest Critical Hits Climmy had ever seen, those attacks were also instantly healed. Forretress easily laid down two layers of Toxic Spikes and three layers of Spikes and had full health when Sneasel went down.

Dude took advantage of the massive Fire Weakness with Typhlosion, but Climmy took advantage of the incoming Lava Plume by switching to Ninetales. Confuse Ray was cast and Typhlosion hurt itself in confusion. Ninetales had nothing better to use, so she cast an ineffective Will-o-Wisp as the confusion caused more self inflicted pain. Typhlosion managed to strike with Quick Attack, (-13 HP, 116/129) but the combination of status moves ended Typhlosion’s fight after only one attack.

Dude summoned Haunter who floated above the floor of pain. Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp as Haunter used Mean Look then Confuse Ray to make Haunter hurt itself twice before Roar.

Kadabra was forced out and interestingly, he was able to poison Ninetales with Synchronize. Confuse Ray was cast again and it proved to be as reliable as it had been throughout the challenge when Kadabra hurt himself. Ninetales used Rest to cure her poison as Kadabra snapped out of confusion and regenerated with Recover. With Disable missing and Recover used again Kadabra failed to take advantage of Ninetales’s sleep. Confuse Ray was cast again making Kadabra hurt itself again and Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp while waiting for the end. Although no damage was dealt, Kadabra still got the last laugh by Disabling Will-o-Wisp. (Disable effectively did nothing, but it still caught me off guard.)

Dude resummoned Haunter who started by trapping Ninetales with Mean Look again while Ninetales cast Confuse Ray. Ninetales cast useless moves as Haunter launched a Shadow Ball that lowered her Special Defense (-36 HP, 93/129) and snapped out of confusion when firing the next one. (-52 HP, 41/129) Climmy called for Rest, but the Shadow Balls kept coming and knocked out Ninetales before she could use Rest again. Although Ninetales’s luck had run out, she had still bought enough time for Haunter’s burn to finish him too.

The trainers sent out Meganium and Golbat. Meganium again started with Leech Seed and Golbat started a barrage of Air Cutters that weren’t too much trouble to deal with. (-32 HP, 105→119/137) The second Air Cutter was blocked by Protect and the third stopped when Golbat fell asleep to Grass Whistle. Climmy switched to Forretress thinking he could take hits better and use Swagger. Golbat’s sleep ended quickly, but that didn’t mean much when its Air Cutter didn’t do much to Forretress after Leech Seed. (-19 HP, 116→130/135) Forretress used Protect which blocked Confuse Ray, but when the barrier dropped Golbat cast another Confuse Ray which made Forretress hurt himself. Golbat starting using Air Cutter again and Forretress snapped out of confusion to use Swagger then block the next attack with Protect, but the attack never came. Golbat’s confusion made him slam himself into the ground and faint.

Dude summoned his last Pokemon, Magneton. Climmy tried switching Forretress out, but Magneton’s Magnet Pull prevented it, so it was a good thing Forretress could do something. Magneton used Spark (-9 HP, 118/139) and Forretress used Swagger. Protect was used to stop a potential attack, but Magneton’s confusion prevented the attack. Climmy suggested Swagger again in case the confusion ended, but instead of snapping out of confusion Magneton hurt itself again. Right after that Magneton snapped out of confusion for a much more powerful Spark, but Forretress blocked it with Protect. Magneton tried for karma with Supersonic. Not only did it fail, but Forretress pulled off another Swagger. Climmy called for Protect two more times. The first was to block another potential attack which confusion stopped again while making Magneton almost KO itself. The second Protect failed, but it didn’t matter when Magneton hurt itself one last time.

 **50:21** Dude Defeated

Dude looked more depressed than angry when he recalled Magneton. “I don’t understand... How can anyone like you be so strong?” Climmy blinked. “Honestly, I’m not sure.” Dude offered, “I don’t have any Pokemon that know Waterfall, so how about I help you out?” Climmy was caught completely off guard. “Oh, I uh... I have a spare chainsaw you can use and would you like some Revives for your Pokemon?"

When they finished Climmy said bye and started toward Victory Road, but Dude stopped him. “Wait. I thought about what you said in Goldenrod... You’ve rubbed me the wrong way since we’ve met and our first battle made me hate everything about you.” Climmy guessed the obvious reason, “Because you couldn’t believe someone with an opposite view of battling beat you?” Dude’s clenched his fists. “Yes, but mostly because you asked if I was related to Giovanni.” Climmy thought that was a good reason. “You hate him as much as I do?” Dude’s voice grew cold. “He was a horrible father.” Climmy almost screamed, “Wait, what! Oh... I- Uh, sorry. If I knew that I never would have joked about it.” Dude sighed. “I know. You just happen to be doing the most annoying things whenever I see you.” Climmy couldn’t help but feel guilty about the coincidences. “I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again... or at least punch me in the face. So, why are you talking to me?” Climmy could have sworn he saw a hint of a smile when Dude said, “I wanted to battle you now that I’ve accepted that you’re somehow a strong trainer.”

* * *

**50:45** Entei Caught

 **50:49** Raikou Caught

This isn't part of the story because I don't know how I'd write it in.

Catching Entei and Raikou wasn’t that bad. Remember the Gastly I used for the first two gyms? This is why I taught it Mean Look. I gave Gastly a Quick Claw so it could use Mean Look before the Legendary Beast fled if I got lucky, but it turns out that when roaming Pokemon try to run in generations four and five it has low priority, like Counter or Focus Punch, so the Quick Claw wasn’t needed. I used Curse to lower their HP and Hypnosis for status if Gastly wasn’t OHKOed yet. To end the Curse I switched Gastly out the turn before their HP would drop to the lowest possible before getting KOed. Entei’s HP wasn’t devisable by four so the rounding works in Pokemon let me get it to very low red health, but Raikou’s HP was divisible by four so I could only go to one fourth health without a KO. I had to soft reset after finding out Raikou’s HP. Good thing I save a lot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP changes for Forretress against Sneasel were the following. It’s amazingly pathetic. I think Faint Attack was the only attacking move, but the -4 might have been Quick Attack.
> 
> (Forretress Enters) 135/135  
> (-7 HP) 128→135  
> (-4 HP) 131→135  
> (Crit! -16 HP) 119→130  
> (-8 HP) 122→133  
> (Crit!-17 HP) 116→127  
> (-8 HP) 119→130  
> (-9 HP) 121→132  
> (-8 HP) 124→135/135


	10. Vs Will of the Elite Four

Throughout Victory Road Climmy left a trail of Poke dolls in his wake. He knew Repels were cheaper, but he couldn’t help but be paranoid that it might make him miss seeing a shiny Pokemon. He didn’t get to crush any dreams of trainers wishing to be champion, but that was only because Dude crushed their dreams first. When he realized why no one was around Climmy sprinted through the entire cave and when he saw the light at the end of the tunnel his heartbeat and pace speed up.

Climmy crossed into the glow of a setting sun and didn’t waste any time gazing upon the glorious Pokemon League building. He headed state inside and for the receptionist’s desk immediately to register for facing the Elite Four and saw a sign that said one of the few things that would have distracted him. “How are you sold out of tickets already? I just got here.” The receptionist apologized, “We’re so sorry, a red haired young man started rumors that Climmy the pacifist is going to take the challenge tomorrow.” Climmy wondered, “Do you believe the rumors?” The receptionist started to say she thought not, but quickly changed it to a yes when Climmy flashed his trainer card. Climmy asked, “So, if I’m signed up now, where’s the shower.

 

The dawn of a new day would soon give way to the feeling of foes falling and Climmy couldn’t wait to be called out of the challenger’s chamber. Climmy had Meganium, Ninetales, Forretress, Togetic, and even the Gastly from the beginning of his journey out of their Pokeballs to wait with him and to stand by his side when they weren’t on the battlefield. He’d thought of having them always out as part of the show, but it didn’t take him long to wonder why he didn’t always do it. It’s pretty nice. An announcer’s voice boomed through the stadium welcoming everyone for coming and after a few minutes, introducing Climmy. Time to shine!

 

Climmy’s first opponent was a familiar face, but not one he expected to see. “No way, Will?”

Will didn’t get what was so surprising. “Obviously one known for being in the Elite Four is going to be part of the Elite Four.” Climmy explained, “I didn’t know you were one of the Elite Four and it’s funny because in an alternate universe or timeline I said that Lorelei should be replaced and for ‘some reason’ I thought about a Psychic Type specialist then you waved at me.” Will tried not to smirk. “Say, what again?” Climmy shrugged. “I’m either a mad man making ridiculous claims or a mad man that comes from another universe or timeline. You can believe whichever one you want.” Will couldn’t hide his smile any more. “I knew that. Lance told we of the Elite Four about you. I’m having trouble believing I did something so audacious.” Climmy raised an eyebrow. “Really?” With a laugh Will said, “No, not at all! Let the challenge begin!”

 

**54:03** Vs Elite Four Will

The first round began with Meganium and Xatu both starting with status moves, Leech Seed from Meganium and Confuse Ray from Xatu. The latter move did nothing because of Climmy switching to Forretress and Xatu started attacking with Psychic. (-24 HP, 121→135/145) Psychic hit Forretress again while he started using Toxic Spikes then things became interesting when Xatu started using Me First. Climmy expected nothing good to happen and nothing good happened. In fact, nothing at all happened. Turns out Me First can only steal attacks, so Forretress started laying down Spikes and waiting to be attacked. After the last layer of Spikes, Climmy asked for more Spikes just to wait for Will’s Full Restore. When it came Forretress used Swagger. Forreterss went back to using Spikes and Xatu tried Me First one last time before trying something different, but before it could its confusion kicked in. Xatu then snapped out of confusion and cast Confuse Ray which made Forretress hurt himself, (-10 HP 135→145/145) but after another Psychic (-26 HP, 119→133/145) Forretress got payback with Swagger making Xatu hurt itself and faint.

Psychic was used once between the start of Me First and the Full Restore, (-26 HP, 119→133/145) but it was done when Forretress was at full health and the next attack wasn’t used until Forretress had full health again.

Will summoned Jynx to crush the annoying bug. Jynx used Psychic (-27 HP, 106/145) while Forretress snapped out of confusion and used Swagger. Jynx used Lovely Kiss and the first one was blocked by Protect, but the second one put Forretress to sleep. Jynx started attacking again with Psychic, (-25 HP, 81/145) but Forretress woke up quickly to stall with Spikes again. Toxic Spikes had nearly ended the fight in Jynx, but she was still able to use Psychic again before going down. (-27 HP, 54/145)

Exeggutor entered the battlefield to finish Forretress’s resistance. Exeggutor attacked with Psychic (-31 HP, 23/145) and Forretress used Swagger. Climmy asked for Protect which blocked an Egg Bomb then switched to Ninetales while Exeggutor launched a Critical Hit Egg Bomb for an instant knockout on her. Climmy summoned Meganium and Exeggutor’s scored another knockout... on itself... Meganium’s Protect had been wasted, but at least Swagger didn’t completely backfire.

Will called out another Xatu, which was pretty disappointing considering the variety of Psychic Types in Johto. Meganium started with Leech Seed and Xatu retaliated with Psychic (-39 HP 104→118/143) and followed up with another one  (-37 HP, 81→95/143) before being put to sleep by Grass Whistle. Climmy switched to Forretress to have him healed by Leech Seed, but Xatu woke up instantly, thanks to its ability Early Bird, and cast Confuse Ray. Forretress blocked an attack with Protect then took a yet another Psychic (-28 HP, 23→37/145) and used Swagger. Climmy called for Protect, but Forretress’s confusion kicked in at the exact wrong time and Swagger backfired when Xatu landed a finishing blow with Aerial Ace. Meganium was resummoned for a final stand. Xatu attacked with a barrage of Aerial Aces, the first of which was blocked by Protect. Climmy winced at how hard the second Aerial Ace hit (-64 HP, 35→49/143) and his heart sank when Xatu stayed awake through Grass Whistle. Climmy called for another Protect, but afterward Meganium still needed to use Synthesis to endure any longer. Meganium was the same speed as Xatu, so the odds needed to be ever in his favor. The trainers held their breath as Xatu attacked with Aerial Ace and Will sighed in relief as Meganium fainted.

Climmy sighed. “I was hoping that I’d make it past the first of the Elite Four before I had to do this...” The crowd’s amazement at Climmy’s final Pokemon could not be understated and Will starred in stunned silence at it. When he regained his voice he made Climmy laugh by saying, “I want one...” Climmy’s last resort was the legend of the sea who has near infinite endurance, Lugia. Lugia blinded Xatu with Flash making two Confuse Rays miss then used Protect as Leech Seed drained the last bit of health from Xatu.

Will’s final Pokemon was a Slowbro. The two Pokemon spammed their moves, Lugia’s Flash and Slowbro’s Curse. When Toxic Spikes was about to end the round Will used a Full Restore. Climmy thought this was going to suck because Lugia’s only “offence” was Whirlwind, which is useless against a last Pokemon standing, but then Climmy looked at his Pokeballs and grinned as he realized something. Lugia was not Climmy’s final Pokemon. Climmy switched to Togetic as Slowbro used Amnesia then called for Encore. With Slowbro unable to attack, it was safe to switch to Gastly for Curse. With Curse cast, Climmy had won.

**54:22** One Down

Will started a round of applause for the victor. “That was amazing! I thought I had won when Lugia couldn’t do anything, but you won with Pokemon that looked severely undertrained compared to the rest of you team.” Climmy thanked him and confessed, “Honestly, I haven’t been using Togetic and Gastly for challenges for a while and I only brought them because I wanted to have them in the Hall of Fame to thank them for what they’ve done for me in the past. I wasn’t expecting a final moment of glory.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re disappointed that I’m using Lugia, keep in mind the only “offence” available to Lugia at this point is Whirlwind/Roar and Swagger, the latter of which I can’t teach because I used the TM on Forretress. Lugia may have insane defenses, but against a last Pokemon standing, it’s less useful than a Level 31 Togetic and a Level 15 Gastly. Also, I didn’t teach Lugia Roost because I don’t like using unrenewable items in case I need them for a shiny Pokemon or something like that and Lugia learns Recover... at Level 71... Good reason, right? :P


	11. Vs Koga of the Elite Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to using a Potion and a Super Potion for healing after Revives, my Pokemon are a 1-3 HP away from full health.

Climmy’s second opponent was somehow better than the first. “Koga? Yes!” Koga wondered, “Why are you excited to face me?” Climmy recalled, “There are so many reasons, but my favorite thing about you is when in Silph Co. you did a sneak attack on an entire floor of Rocket idiots at once from an air duct which lead them to be vulnerable to another sneak attack from the bathroom... Um... Koga? Are you okay?” Koga asked, “Did that version of me ask to be your student?” Climmy knew where this was going. “Yes. Want to be my student again?” Koga wanted to say yes, but he couldn’t yet. “If you prove yourself to be superior to me then I’d be honored to be your student.”

 **54:23** Vs Elite Four Koga

Meganium and Ariados started the challenge. Meganium used Leech Seed and was planned to retreat next turn, but Aridos’s Spider Web meant that Meganium was in for a lot of pain. Meganium tried Grass Whistle only to find out Ariados’s ability was Insomnia and Ariados started the beat down with Poison Jab.* Meganium started alternating between using Protect and Synthesis or Grass Whistle if healing wasn’t needed and Ariados quickly poisoned Meganium making resistance that much harder. Some people would think that a Meganium couldn’t stand up to an Ariados, but some people would be underestimating Climmy. The Synthesis healed more than Poison Jab dealt and Leech Seed almost healed what the Poison drained. The battle was a test of endurance, a test that Ariados failed.

Koga’s second Pokemon was Venomoth. Meganium quickly put Venomoth to sleep with Grass Whistle then used Leech Seed before being switched out for Forretress. During the switch Venomoth woke up and started unleashing Psychics.* After two layers of Spikes and one use of Protect, Forretress appeared to be doing good, but a Critical Hit nearly pushed him to his limit (-66 HP, 17→32/145) when he went for Swagger. Climmy didn’t want Forretress to pay the price for risking a third layer of Spikes, so Climmy called for Protect. Venomoth’s confusion lead to a self KO making Protect useless.

Koga sent out his own Forretress and Climmy switched to Meganium, betting on an entry hazard move being used. During the switch Forretress used the move Climmy feared facing most, Toxic Spikes. Koga’s Forretress used Protect to block Leech Seed, but Meganium used Synthesis instead of the predicted move. Meganium then used Leech Seed while Forretress set up a second layer of Toxic Spikes then Climmy suggested the defensive move Synthesis. Koga suggested something a little more offensive to Forretress... who then blew up. To Climmy’s amazement Meganium endured the Explosion (-140 HP! 2/143!) and to Climmy’s disappointment Meganium’s poison ended that awesome moment, but it was really nice while it lasted.

The trainers sent out Ninetales and Muk. Muk started with Minimize, but Ninetales’s Will-o-Wisp made it practically pointless. Climmy asked for Roar and Muk launched a Gunk Shot (-37 HP, 95→79/141) before being switched out.

Koga summoned his last Pokemon, Crobat. Ninetales cast a Will-o-Wisp that missed and Crobat used Double Team. Toxic Spikes was really getting to Ninetales, so she needed to use Rest which gave Crobat time to use Double Team three more times. Ninetales woke up casting Will-o-Wisp after Will-o-Wisp knowing Crobat couldn’t dodge forever. With six Double Teams used Crobat went on the offense with Wing Attack.* The second one scored a Critical Hit pushing Ninetales toward her limit, (Crit! -72 HP, 36/141) but before Rest she cast one last Will-o-Wisp and Crobat finally failed to dodge. Ninetales needed to endure until Crobat went down, but that would be easy. Climmy knew she had already beaten Crobat.

In an attempt to weaken Muk with Spikes Climmy called for Roar when Rest wasn’t needed. Crobat evaded the Roars until he was near his limit and Ninetales finally forced Koga to switch back to Muk. Muk tried Minimize only to be forced out by another Roar. The resummoning of Crobat lasted only seconds before he fell to his burn.

Koga resummoned Muk again for the final stand and healed it with a Full Restore. Climmy saw the heal coming and asked for a Will-o-Wisp to secure victory. With victory guarantee Ninetales cast Confuse Ray while Muk used Toxic. Ninetales’s health was getting low, but it was still high enough that she could waste some time with one Roar. While Ninetales Roared Muk used Minimize for some inconceivable reason... Maybe Confuse Ray? When Ninetales Rested Muk blasted her with a Gunk Shot that would have knocked out Ninetales after poison if it weren’t for Rest. (-40 HP, 141→101) Muk launched more Gunk Shots* until Ninetales woke up and used Rest again when Koga realized brute force wasn’t going to work. While Ninetales slept Muk used Minimize then a Screech that failed. Ninetales woke up casting a Confuse Ray that missed and Muk Screeched again which worked this time. Climmy was worried, but not worried yet, so he suggested Confuse Ray again as Muk Screeched again. Now Climmy was worried enough to switch to Forretress. Muk started using Minimize as Forretress did nothing and Climmy realized Gunk Shot was the only attack. Climmy sarcastically asked, “How’s the weather?” as the Pokemon did nothing and eventually, Muk fainted.

 **54:47** Two Down

Climmy gave Koga his number. “Feel free to call me on your days off and I’ll let you know where I am so I can teach you my ways.” Koga bowed. “Yes sensei.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP changes for Meganium were the following. Poison Jab was the only attack used and S means Meganium used Synthesis.
> 
> (Start of Battle) 141/143  
> (-58 HP) 83→97  
> (Protect) 111  
> (Protect) 125  
> (-56 HP + Poison) 69→52→66  
> (S, -60 HP) 137→77→60→74  
> (Protect) 57→71  
> (Full Restore) 54→68  
> (S, -56 HP) 139 → 83→66→80  
> (Protect) 63→77  
> (S, -50 HP) 143 → 93→76→90  
> (Protect) 73→87  
> (-54 HP) 33→16→30  
> (S, -60 HP) 101→41→24→38  
> (S, -56 HP) 109→53→36→50  
> (S, -56 HP) 121→65→48→54/143
> 
> Due to Poison, Meganium’s HP Changes against Venomoth were the following.
> 
> 54/143  
> 37  
> 20→35/143
> 
> Health changes for Forretress against Venomoth were the following. Psychic was the only attack used.
> 
> (Start) 142/145  
> (-32 HP) – 110→125  
> (-34 HP) – 91→106  
> (-34 HP) – 72→87  
> (-34 HP) – 53→68  
> (Protect) – 83  
> (Crit! -66 HP) – 17→32/145
> 
> HP changes for Ninetales against Crobat after first rest were the following. Wing Attack was the only attack used and R means Ninetales used Rest.
> 
> (First Rest) 55→141/141  
> (Double Team) 141  
> (Double Team) 141  
> (-33 HP) 108  
> (Crit! -72 HP) 36  
> (-16 HP) 20  
> (R -16 HP) 141 → 125  
> (-16 HP) 109  
> (-18 HP)91  
> (-18 HP) 73  
> (-16 HP) 57  
> (R, -16 HP) 141 → 125  
> (-16 HP) 109  
> (-18 HP) 91  
> (-16 HP) 75/141
> 
> HP changes for Ninetales starting with first rest against Muk were the following. R still means Ninetales used Rest and Gunk Shot was the only Attack used.
> 
> (Muk Enters) 75/141  
> (Toxic used) 67  
> (Minimize) 51  
> (R, -40 HP) 141 → 101  
> (-36 HP) 65  
> (-36 HP) 29  
> (R, -36 HP) 141 → 105/141


	12. Vs Bruno of the Elite Four

The third of the Elite Four gave Climmy mixed emotions. “I’m torn between disappointment at unchallenging opponent and excitement at seeing your thousand abs.” Bruno said his signature phrase, “I have nothing to say to that...”

**54:49** Vs Elite Four Bruno

The man of a thousand abs sent out Hitmontop to face Climmy’s Meganium. Hitmontop gave Meganium free time to use Leech Seed by using Counter then used Quick Attack while Climmy switched to Forretress. (-6 HP 139→145/145) Forretress started laying down Toxic Spikes and Hitmontop started digging. Forretress could have used Protect to block Dig, but instead he laid a second layer of Toxic Spikes to see if Dig was ineffective as Climmy thought it would be. It was, even though it was a Critical Hit. (Crit! -46 HP, 109→122) With twice as much time for Leech Seed to heal, Forretress started using Spikes without doing anything about Hitmontop’s digging. When Bruno used a Full Restore Climmy thought things could be sped up with Swagger. Hitmontop started digging again and now that it could do real damage, Climmy called for Protect. Hitmontop emerged from the ground hurting itself in confusion then used Quick Attack (-19 HP, 126→139/145) while Forrteress waited for another Dig. The wait let caught Forretress off guard for Hitmontop’s final move, a devastating Triple Kick. (-94 Total HP, 123→93→45→58/145) Hitmontop fainted, but he had managed to deal heavy damage before going down.

Bruno released Hitmonlee onto the battlefield. Climmy switched to Meganium, but that proved to be the wrong move when Hitmonlee lashed out with Blaze Kick. (-50 HP, 93/143) Despite the disadvantage, Climmy kept Meganium in and asked for Leech Seed. Before Meganium could use the move Hitmonlee slammed another Blaze Kick into him, (-54 HP, 39→52/143) but Meganium was able to block the third Blaze Kick with Protect. Toxic Spikes and Leech Seed had drained Hitmonlee quickly and he had time for just one more move. Climmy suggested Synthesis to Meganium, but Hitmonlee use Swagger first. The thud of a Pokemon fainting throughout the stadium. Meganium stood over Hitmonlee with full health.

Bruno summoned Hitmonchan to battle. Climmy thought it was safe to guess that Hitmonchan knew the Elemental Punches, so Climmy switched to Ninetales to absorb Fire Punch. Climmy’s prediction was proven correct as the switch was made and he called for Roar to let Spikes effect add up. Hitmonchan landed a Thunder Punch (-30 HP, 111/141) before being unsummoned.

Burno’s fourth Pokemon was the only thing in the universe that had a number of abs even close to his, Machamp. Ninetales cast Confuse Ray and Machamp crushed her with Rock Slide. (-90 HP, 21/141) Machamp went in to finish her with Revenge, but Ninetales had already denied the knockout with Rest. (-48 HP, 93/141) Climmy switched to Forretress to take Rock Slide, but Machamp’s confusion didn’t allow that attack. Machamp was determined to get a KO before going down and charged with Cross Chop, but Forretress’s Protect denied another chance to land a knockout blow before being knocked out himself.

Hitmonchan was resummoned and Climmy switched to Ninetales to block Fire Punch again. Hitmonchan jabbed with two Thunder Punches (-29 & -33 HP, 64/141 → 31/141) before Ninetales woke up and Rested again to endure the third. (-29 HP, 112/141) Hitmonchan couldn’t take any more of the Toxic Spikes and went down.

Bruno released his final Pokemon, his bench pressing weight, and Climmy glared. “I don’t care if no one gets it, I’m playing Dogsong.” In this universe, it’s still an Onix... Climmy switched to Meganium while Onix unleashed a Sandstorm then Meganium used Leech Seed and Onix tired to crush him with Rock Slide. (-16 HP, 117→109→121/143) Protect blocked the next Rock Slide and Bruno used a Full Restore, giving Meganium a chance to use Grass Whistle, but it failed. Grass Whistle took two more tries to work and in the mean time Onix used Rock Slide again. (-18 HP, 111→123/143) With Onix asleep Climmy switched to Ninetales to get her some experience and healing. Both Pokemon woke up at the same time and used Status Moves, Ninetales’s Confuse Ray and Onix’s Sandstorm. Ninetales was now at full health again so Climmy switched to Forretress while Onix KOed itself in confusion.

**55:04** Three Down

Bruno said he had nothing to say about his loss, Bruno almost always nothing to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP changes for Forretress against Hitmontop were probably the following. +2 means Hitmontop had boosted Attack from Swagger. (I somehow messed up in my notes even though I write down everything that happens while it’s happening, but I think I figured out what my mistake was.)
> 
> (Start of Battle) 145/145  
> (Quick Attack -6 HP) 139→145  
> (Digging) 145  
> (Dig Crit! -46 HP) 109→122  
> (Digging) 135/145  
> (Dig -18 HP) 117→130  
> (Digging) 143/145  
> (Dig -18 HP) 125→138  
> (Full Restore) 145  
> (Digging) 145  
> (+2 Confusion Damage) 145  
> (+2 Quick Attack -19 HP) 126→139  
> (+2 Triple Kick -16 -30 -46) 123→93→45→58/145


	13. Vs Karen of the Elite Four

Climmy’s last opponent of the Elite Four stirred no excitement form him, only curiosity. “I was wondering if I’d stop seeing familiar faces.” The beauty introduced herself. “I am Karen of the Elite Four. You're Climmy? How amusing.” Climmy stopped her there. “Are you underestimating me? If you’re stupid enough to underestimate me after hearing the rumors about me then you’ve not only already lost, but you deserve the loss.”

 **55:06** Vs Elite Four Karen

The final of the Elite Four sent out Umberon and Climmy summoned Meganium. Climmy called for Leech Seed which somehow missed despite Meganium’s Wide Lens and Umbreon attacked with Payback (-36 HP, 107/143) Meganium used Leech Seed again, which worked this time, and Umbreon started using Double Team. Climmy switched to Forretress as Umbreon cast Confuse Ray. Forretress started laying down Spikes and Toxic Spikes and when he did hurt himself in confusion the damage was instantly healed by Leech Seed. (-10 HP, 138→148/148) When Umbreon stopped using Double Team long enough to attack it used Faint Attack and landed a Critical Hit. (Crit! -13 HP, 135→148/148) The damage was healed instantly and because of such a pathetic offence Climmy glared and played Dogsong. “Bruno has a thousand abs, what’s your saving grace?” When each layer of Spikes and Toxic Spikes had been laid Forretress just kept on using Spikes and Toxic Spikes. Not even Faint Attack and confusion in the some turn could cause any damage that lasted more than a second. Karen was stupid enough to use a Full Restore on a Pokemon that could do nothing prolonging her useless attempt at offence. To say that Climmy was happy when Umbreon fainted would be an understatement.

Karen’s second Pokemon was Houndoom, so Climmy switched to Ninetales to absorb the Flamethrower everyone saw coming. Needless to say, Ninetales absorbed a Flamethrower. Climmy asked for Roar and Ninetales got blasted with Dark Pulse (-46 HP, 95/141) before Roaring.

Karen called forth her Gengar to battle. Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp but missed and Gengar punished that miss with Spite. Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp again, burning Gengar this time and opening the possibility of being unable to use Will-o-Wisp anymore, but Gengar launched a Focus Blast instead of using Spite. (-48 HP, 47/141) Ninetales Rested to take the incoming Focus Blasts. Gengar unleashed two brutal blasts (-47 & -47 HP, 94/141 → 47/141) and prepared to finish with a third. The finishing Focus Blast showed its famous accuracy by missing, which let Ninetales wake up and Rest again. While Ninetales slept Gengar used the last Power Point for Focus Blast, but missed again, then started using its most effective move, Spite... which did nothing... Gengar was almost down when Ninetales woke up, but Climmy wanted action, so instead of waiting a little bit he asked for Roar.

Karen summoned Vileplume who absorbed the Toxic Spikes. Both Pokemon used status moves. Ninetales’s Will-o-Wisp was successful. Vileplume’s Stun Spore did nothing. Climmy switched to Forretress while Vileplume tried and failed with Stun Spore again. Vileplume started Petal Dance while Forretress laid down two layers of Toxic Spikes again. (-13 & -13 HP, 135/148 → 122/148) Climmy didn’t know if the last hit of Petal Dance needed to hit to cause confusion, so Climmy went with better safe than sorry and asked for Spikes. (-15 HP, 107/148) Now that Vileplume was confused Climmy suggested Protect which blocked another Petal Dance then Spikes instead of Swagger incase Vileplume knew a physical move. Apparently, that hypothetical physical move was hurting itself in confusion, which was powerful enough to cause a knockout on itself.

Karen resummoned Houndoom and Climmy resummoned Ninetales to take the Flamethrower again. Ninetales cast Confuse Ray and Houndoom hurt itself. Not wanting Houndoom forced out yet, Climmy asked for Confuse Ray again and Houndoom hurt itself again. Houndoom was barely standing so if confusion kicked in again Houndoom would go down, if Houndoom stayed in without hurting itself then it would go down to Toxic Spikes, and if Roar was used Houndoom would go down as soon as it touched Spikes. Climmy preferred the third possibility over the second so he asked for Roar. Houndoom fought through the confusion to blast Ninetales with Dark Pulse (-46 HP, 95/141) and Ninetales Roared. Houndoom was effectively done for.

Gengar was resummoned and it used Spite. Ninetales used Roar.

Karen’s final Pokemon, Murkrow, entered the battlefield. The effects of Gengar’s Spite were shown as Ninetales used her last Power Point for Will-o-Wisp and it missed. Murkrow saved Climmy the trouble of switching by using Whirlwind, but it called out the wrong Pokemon, Lugia. Climmy took the opportunity to have Lugia blind Murkrow with repetitive Flashes and Murkrow started attacking with Pluck. After two Plucks Murkrow started using Faint Attack then Lugia used Rest when it couldn’t take any more. Climmy switched back to Ninetales who dodged Murkrow’s Whirlwind when entering the battlefield then was hit by Faint Attack (-34 HP, 61/141) before forcing a switch with Roar. Lugia’s Flash was mostly wasted, but Climmy wasn’t a master strategist, he’s a brilliant insane idiot with a big heart and a sadistic sense of karma. 

Houndoom was resummoned again to his doom from entry hazards then Gengar was sent into battle yet again. Gengar only had enough energy for one more move so Ninetales casually used Rest while Gengar used Spite before fainting.

Murkrow was now the final stand. Even though there was a type disadvantage, Climmy switched to Meganium as Murkrow used Pluck. (-42 HP, 86/146) To win Meganium needed to use Leech Seed and it was easier done than said. Meganium used Leech Seed before Murkrow could use Pluck and that didn’t come close to stopping Meganium. (-46 HP, 38→53/146) Meganium used Synthesis as if to prove how much he had won by and another Pluck helped prove how easily he had won. (-46 HP, 78→93/146) Meganium went for Grass Whistle twice and during the first Murkrow tried Sucker Punch, which obviously failed while Climmy turned up the volume of Dogsong, then after the second try Murkrow landed a much less pathetic Critical Hit Pluck. (Crit! -92 HP, 16→31/146) Meganium used Protect then Synthesis, taking another Pluck, (-44 HP, 75→90/146) before using Grass Whistle again. Murkrow fell asleep, but Karen was about to use a Full Restore, so when she did Maganium put Murkrow to sleep again. With Murkrow asleep Climmy asked for Synthesis to save on healing items after the challenge then switched to Ninetales to get her healed by Leech Seed, but when Climmy switched Murkrow woke up and forced a another switch to Forretress with Whirlwind. Murkrow was almost to her limit, so Climmy just decided to go with it and ask Forretress to use Swagger. Murkrow attacked again with Pluck before Forretress’s Swagger and it was even worse against Forretress. (-22 HP, 100→115/148) To end the challenge Forretress used Protect twice waiting for Murkrow’s confusion to kick in, which it did during the second Protect.

 **55:28** Four Down

Climmy wondered, “I think I faced the Elite Four in the wrong order. Does that mean I face the next challenger or do I still face the Champion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP Changes for Lugia against Murkrow were the following. R means Lugia used Rest and Faint is short for Faint Attack.
> 
> (Start of Battle) 169/169  
> (Pluck -19 HP) 150  
> (Pluck -21 HP) 129  
> (Faint -42 HP) 87  
> (Faint -44 HP) 43  
> (R, Faint -44HP) 125/169


	14. Vs Champion Lance

Lance marched onto stage, a dignified champion to face the most audacious challenger. No words were necessary and the final battle began.

 **55:30** Vs Champion Lance

Lance started with Gyrados and Climmy started his challenge against the champion the same way he started the challenges with the Elite Four, with Meganium. Climmy called for Leech Seed and Gyrados crushed Meganium with Ice Fang. (-42 HP, 104→123/146) To avoid taking hits Meganium used Grass Whistle, but the first one failed letting Gyrados use Ice Fang again. (-44 HP, 79→98/146) The second Grass Whistle put Gyrados to sleep then after wasting time with another Grass Whistle Climmy switched to Ninetales incase Gyrados woke up and used Ice Fang. Expecting a Water Type move if Gyrados woke up now, Climmy switched back to Meganium and Gyrados woke up but used Flail instead. (-14 HP, 122→141/146) Meganium put Gyrados back to sleep then when Drake woke it up when healing with a Full Restore Meganium used a Grass Whistle that failed, but the failure didn’t matter when the next one put Gyrados to sleep it could attack. Climmy stalled while Gyrados slept by asking for Grass Whistle again and Protect then switching to Ninetales. Gyrados woke up when Climmy was switching back to Meganium who got slammed by Waterfall, (-21 HP, 125→144/146) but Grass Whistle didn’t let Gyrados stay awake for long. Climmy switched back to Ninetales and Gyrados was almost down, but there was a chance he could wake up, so Climmy asked for Confuse Ray just in case. Gyrados stayed asleep then the reason for his unconsciousness changed to fainting.

Lance sent out his second Pokemon, Aerodactyl, who’s typing makes all of Climmy’s choices risky. Climmy asked Ninetales for Will-o-Wisp, but she flinched when she was crushed by Rock Slide. (-120 HP, 24/144) Climmy weighed his options and decided switched to Meganium was the best choice. Luckily, Aerodactyl charged in with Thunder Fang during the switch. (-13 HP, 133/146) Climmy called for the only move that gave him a chance, Leech Seed. Aerodactyl slammed into Meganium with Aerial Ace, but he endured and retaliated with Leech Seed. (-74 HP, 59→77/146) Meganium blocked the next Aerial Ace with Protect and responded to the onslaught  by defying the type mach up and healing the hit with Synthesis. (-72 +73 HP, 23 → 96→114/146) Meganium blocked another Aerial Ace with Protect then Climmy switched so Lugia would take the next Aerial Ace. (-34 HP, 135→153/169) Lugia used Protect to block the Rock Slide Aerodactyl would use then Climmy switched to Forretress to take the next Rock Slide. (-40, 108→126/148) Forretress used Protect and blocked a Rock Slide then, because no move had a chance of doing anything else, he tried Protect again in an attempt to block Aerodactyl’s final attack, but it failed, making Forretress get smashed by Rock Slide. (-39 HP, 105→110/148)

Climmy saw the incarnation of his suffering when Lance sent out Charizard.* Climmy’s team had a massive weakness to Fire Types and when the Fire Type in question couldn’t be affected by Toxic Spikes, there was no good answer. Without a good answer most trainers would give up, but Climmy didn’t need a good answer, he just needed an insane idea. Forretress used Protect to see what Charizard would use and the move blocked was Fire Fang. Climmy took advantage of Fire Fang in a heartbeat and switched to the heavily damaged but immune to fire Ninetales. Charizard tried to finish her with Dragon Claw, but Ninetales was able to use Rest first. (-33 HP, 111/144) Now that Ninetales was potentially useful again Climmy switched to the Immortal Legendary Pokemon, Lugia.

During the switch Charizard used Air Slash (-37 HP, 132/169) then after seeing the legend he started slashing with Shadow Claw. Lugia responded by alternating between blocking with Protect and lowering Accuracy with Flash, using Rest whenever healing was needed.  Lugia only managed to use Flash twice before using Rest the first time and Charizard landed every attack with enough power to force Resting again upon waking up, even after he had to switch to Air Slash. Eventually Charizard missed one Air Slash then another, allowing Lugia to start using Flash again. Lugia only managed to use Flash two more times before Charizard landed a Critical Hit, but it was just Dragon Claw because of Lugia’s Pressure speeding up Climmy’s plan of draining Power Points. Climmy had planned on letting Ninetales face only Fire Attacks, but Charizard was randomly switching between Dragon Claw and Fire Fang. Climmy thought the Charizard wasn’t much of a threat after using up all of his Air Slashes, so Climmy changed plans to six Flashes. After the sixth Flash Climmy still didn’t switch because Lugia had an opportunity to use Rest without risk, so Climmy waited until the moment before Lugia would wake up for the switch.

Ninetales was resummoned but still asleep. Charizard failed to hurt Ninetales during the switch with Fire Fang and missed with a Dragon Claw, but was able to land a hit with another Dragon Claw (-44 HP, 78/144) before Ninetales woke up. Ninetales cast Confuse Ray and Charizard managed to attack, but the attack was Fire Fang. Charizard was out of Dragon Claws. Ninetales was safe, but Climmy wanted to avoid Struggle and between Flash and Confuse Ray he felt safe switching to Meganium. Despite the odds, Charizard’s Fire Fang hit, but the damage was surprisingly low. (-54HP, 78/146) Charizard’s confusion kicked in as Meganium used Leech Seed. Climmy didn’t care much when Charizard’s next Fire Fang hit because it was easily healed by Synthesis. (-54 +73 HP, 40→113→131/148) Although time was limited Climmy still asked for Protect for Leech Seed to restore Meganium to full health before switching back to Ninetales. Ninetales recovered with Rest and Charizard continued attacking with Fire Fang. One Fire Fang when Ninetales used Rest, one Fire Fang while she slept, and one more was needed for Ninetales to wake up for the next Pokemon. Instead, Charizard used Struggle and fainted to the recoil while Ninetales was still deep in slumber.

Lance summoned a Dragonite to battle and Climmy switched to Lugia as Dragonite charged with Dragon Rush. (-58 HP, 86/169) Climmy called for Protect and Lugia blocked Thunder. Thinking things looked good, Climmy switched to Meganium, but instead of another Thunder, Dragonite used the possibly more problematic Thunder Wave. Climmy needed Leech Seed, so when Dragonite charged with Dragon Rush he started to get worried. Meganium didn’t flinch. Meganium didn’t let paralysis stop him. Meganium took the Dragon Rush and retaliated with Leech Seed. (-66 HP, 80→100/146) Dragonite slammed Meganium with another Dragon Rush, but Meganium healed more than he took with Synthesis. (-63 +73 HP, 37→110→130/146) Dragonite went for a third Dragon Rush but missed and for insult to injury Meganium put it to sleep with Grass Whistle. Climmy saw another chance for Ninetales so he switched to her. Both trainers waited for their Pokemon to wake up and Climmy grinned when Ninetales woke up first and cast Confuse Ray. Dragonite only had moments before being unable to fight, but he couldn’t wake up before it was too late.

Lance summoned another Dragonite and Climmy actually couldn’t complain about choice of Pokemon because Dragonite was a really tough one. Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp while Dragonite used Safeguard which turned out to be too little too late. Ninetales went for Roar and Dragonite showed how much the Attack Drop from his Burn was needed with a Critical Hit Outrage. (Crit! -98 HP, 27/144)

With the second Dragonite unsummoned Lance was forced to release his final Pokemon, yet another Dragonite. What Lance lacked in variety he made up for in power. Climmy switched to Meganium as Dragonite charged with Dragon Rush and a miss let Meganium enter without any trouble. Climmy’s heart skipped a beat when Lance called for Dragonite to use Blizzard, but another miss let Meganium use Leech Seed easily. Climmy suggested Protect to block the next Blizzard, but Meganium’s paralysis prevented it and Dragonite fired off another Blizzard, which missed again. Meganium then managed to use Protect to block another Blizzard before Climmy switched to Forretress who was blasted by Blizzard but didn’t care much. (-34 HP 76→96/148) Forretress couldn’t do much, but he didn’t need to do anything. He just needed to wait. Dragonite attacked with Dragon Rush twice, but the first was blocked by Protect and the second one missed yet again while Forretress wasted time with Toxic Spikes. Forretress used Protect again which blocked Thunder Wave this time then another Toxic Spikes while Lance used a Full Restore. Dragonite used Thunder Wave after the heal and with the second Full Restore used, Climmy thought it was safe to ask for Swagger. Forretress used Protect to block a devastating attack and Dragonite’s attack was devastating... to itself. Climmy was impressed that Dragonite was strong enough for confusion to do that much. (~1/3 of its HP) Forretress went for wasting time with Toxic Spikes instead of risking Protect failing and Dragonite attacked its target, this time actually slamming into him with Dragon Rush. (-54 HP, 94→114/148) Climmy thought the battle was almost over, but Lance used another Full Restore. Dragonite managed to land another Dragon Rush (-62 HP, 72→92/148) before Forretress used Swagger again, but after that Forretress was able to get to full health again with Dragonite being denied any more hits by Confusion, Protect, then a Miss before going down.

Lance resummoned what appeared to be the strongest of the Dragonite for his last stand. It was still burned from earlier, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t still a massive threat. Climmy switched to Ninetales to take another Fire Blast then suggested Rest as Dragonite lashed out with Outrage. (-63 HP, 84/147) Climmy switched back to Forretress who took the Outrage effortlessly. (-18 HP, 130/148) The Outrage ended and Climmy thought Dragonite had used Fire Blast five times, so he switched to Meganium while Dragonite hurt itself in confusion. Climmy called for Leech Seed and to Climmy’s horror he found out he had miscounted, but Fire Blast missed. Meganium’s paralysis prevented the Leech Seed, but Climmy knew for sure that that was the last Fire Blast, so Meganium used Leech Seed while Dragonite set up Safeguard. Lance used a fourth Full Restore while Climmy switched to Forretress, who could take anything Dragonite could throw at him, even after the burn was healed, to secure the victory.

**56:08 Johto Champion!**

Lance lead Climmy to the Hall of Fame, gave the usual speech, and stood aside for Climmy to register his Pokemon. Climmy tore two Pokeballs from his belt, but as his hands hovered over the machine he felt like he couldn’t do it. Lance asked what was wrong and Climmy asked, “This is the Pokemon Leauge for Jhoto and Kanto, right?” Lance nodded. Climmy put his Pokeballs back on his belt. “I don’t feel like I can be Champion of Kanto if I’m not known there...” Lance understood. “I was unknown to Kanto too once, but my reputation spread quickly. I have no doubt you’ll be accept as champion.” Climmy smiled. “Thanks, but I want to take on Kanto’s gyms and maybe have a rematch against you before accepting the title.” Lance accepted the decision. “Very well then. Even though you earned it, I can’t force the title of champion onto you.”

Climmy had almost left before he remembered something. “Oh, can I ask for a rule change?” Lance frowned. “It can’t be anything too drastic.” Climmy hoped his proposal wasn’t. “I just want for Gym Leaders and the Elite Four to be able to use Pokemon from outside their region.” Lance thought about it for a moment and declared, “Yes, I’ll do my best to make it an official rule. When it passes, I look forward to our rematch.”

* * *

After the last Rival Battle before the Elite Four my team was Level 43 (Except for Lugia who was caught at Level 45) and I grinded everyone to Level 45 before the Elite Four.

 **Meganium - Level 46 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Leech Seed  
Protect  
Grass Whistle  
Synthesis

In runs like these you will use Pokemon just for one move. Leech Seed is one of those moves.

 **Forretress - Level 47 - Calm (+SpD -Atk)**  
Toxic Spikes  
Spikes  
Protect  
Swagger

It says a lot when a move can compete with Leech Seed for the best move. Toxic Spikes on a bulky Steel Type is priceless. Toxic Spikes is so good that I consider being able to cause damage with Swagger a nice bonus instead of anything worth mentioning, although it is really good with a Base 140 Defense.

 **Ninetales - Level 47 - Jolly (+Spe -Atk)**  
Will-o-Wisp  
Confuse Ray  
Roar  
Rest

When Toxic Spikes fails Will-o-Wisp succeeds and Ninetales is the only Pokemon that learns it. Imagine Koga without Ninetales and you’ll understand why Soul Silver is the better game. Roar is also a fun toy with Spikes or if the opponent is leading with a Fire Type and you want to set up with Forretress.

 **Lugia - Level 45 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Whirlwind  
Flash  
Rest  
Protect

Pressure is so good when you want to stall PP and with the bulkiest Pokemon in the game stalling is really easy. Lugia might be worth it even when Whirlwind does nothing. Tanks with any form of recovery are just that good because you will be stalling.

 **Togetic - Level 31 - Impish (+Def -SpD)**  
Sweet Kiss  
Wish  
Encore  
Flash

I just wanted Togetic in the Hall of Fame because I used it for so long. (And only having four Pokemon felt kind of lame.) Sweet Kiss as an only “offense” sucks and Wish doesn’t do much when you don’t want to use the Pokemon that knows it.

 **Gastly - Level 16 - Lax (+Def -SpD)**  
Curse  
Hypnosis  
Spite  
Mean Look

If I was bringing Togetic, I might as well bring the other Boxed Pokemon. He was way more useful than expected against the Elite Four (In other words, he was somehow useful.) and managed to gain a level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is every HP change against Charizard. R means Rest was used, S means Synthesis was used, and attacks that did nothing are crossed out. Keep in mind that Lugia used Flash two times between the first three Protects and the rest while awake after attacks start missing.  
>   
>   
> Ninetales  
>   
> (Switched into Battle) 144/144  
> (Fire Fang, Missed) 144  
> (R, Dragon Claw -33 HP) 111/144  
>   
> Lugia  
>   
> (Switched into Battle) 169/169  
> (Air Slash, -37 HP) 132  
> ( ~~Shadow Claw~~ Protect)132  
> (Shadow Claw -40 HP) 92  
> ( ~~Shadow Claw~~ Protect) 92  
> (Shadow Claw -38 HP) 54  
> ( ~~Air Slash~~ Protect) 54  
> (R, Shadow Claw -36 HP) 133  
> (Air Slash -37 HP) 96  
> (Shadow Claw -36 HP) 60  
> ( ~~Shadow Claw~~ Protect) 60  
> (R Shadow Claw -36 HP) 133  
> (Air Slash -40 HP) 93  
> (Air Slash -42 HP) 51  
> ( ~~Air Slash~~ Protect) 51  
> (R, Air Slash -40 HP) 129  
> ( ~~Air Slash~~ Missed) 129  
> ( ~~Air Slash~~ Missed) 129  
> (Air Slash -42 HP) 87  
> (Dragon Claw Crit, -44 HP) 43  
> (R, ~~Dragon Claw~~ Missed) 169  
> (Dragon Claw -22 HP) 147  
> (Dragon Claw -23 HP) 124  
> (Fire Fang, -30 HP) 94  
> (Dragon Claw -21 HP) 73  
> (R, ~~Fire Fang~~ Missed) 169  
> (Fire Fang, -25 HP) 144  
> ( ~~Dragon Claw~~ Missed) 144/169  
>   
> Ninetales Again  
>   
> (Switched into Battle) 111/144  
> ( ~~Fire Fang~~ Missed) 111  
> ( ~~Dragon Claw~~ Missed) 111  
> (Dragon Claw -35 HP) 76  
> ( ~~Fire Fang~~ Flash Fire) 76/144  
>   
> Meganium  
>   
> (Switched into Battle) 132/146  
> (Fire Fang -54 HP) 78  
> (Confusion Damage) 78  
> (S, Fire Fang -56 HP) 40→113→131  
> ( ~~Fire Fang~~ Protect) 148/148  
>   
> Ninetales Yet Again  
>   
> (Switched into Battle) 76/144  
> ( ~~Fire Fang~~ Flash Fire)  
> (R ~~Fire Fang~~ Flash Fire)  
> ( ~~Fire Fang~~ Flash Fire)  
> (Struggle -19 HP) 125/144


	15. Sidetracked by Madness - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear everyone who thought this challenge was impossible,
> 
> Suck it.
> 
> Sincerely,  
> CTNC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this Chapter is slightly out of order from what happened in game because you have to wait for Safari Zone upgrades. The Safari Zone visit happened after a rage quit.

Climmy was ready for taking on the Kanto League again, but before he did there were still a few things in Johto he wanted to see.

 

Climmy had checked out the Safari Zone before but rumors that had started about rarer and stronger Pokemon had appearing recently. When he returned he saw the rumors were true and there was something he really wanted in the mountain area. Climmy spent hours trying to catch a Larvitar and started felling like the wildlife was judging him for his obsession. He thought he saw a Lunatone watching him mockingly and turned to glare at it, but he realized that the Lunatone wasn’t looking at him funny. It just looked funny. Its sapphire eye sparkled as it watched him carefully. Climmy didn’t know if it was thinking about running, but he didn’t want to give it a chance. He hurled a Safari Ball before it could react and readied the next incase it tried to flee. The ball shook seeming in time with Climmy’s racing heart and then stopped with a click. Climmy’s ecstatic scream scared off any nearby Larvitar, but he didn’t care.

 **61:XX** Caught a Shiny Lunatone! Wait, Synchronize failed both Larvitar... Yay, more Paranoia! (Didn’t get the exact time because I couldn’t save in the Safari Zone and I didn’t remember that you can check the time using the Trainer Card until after I left the Safari Zone.)

 **62:38** Caught a Bold Larvitar **Team Complete!**

 

Climmy should have been boarding the S.S. Aqua, but he wanted to see if the nearby Battle Frontier was open first and it amazingly seemed to have opened around the same time Professor Elm upgraded his Pokedex with the National Dex. Climmy asked a guide at the front gate about the place and it seemed interesting, but he didn’t see why he shouldn’t challenge Kanto first until the guide started talking about prizes. “You earn Battle Points, or BP, which you can trade for Prizes like TMs or-” Climmy saw a prize that should have been radiating holly light. “Is that TM 06 Toxic?” The guide nodded. “Yes, and for 32 BP-” “It’s already mine. Which place do you recommend first?” The guide recommended the Battle Factory and Climmy left before he heard what it was like. After a winning streak of one Pokemon (Not one Trainer, one Pokemon.) Climmy returned to the Frontier Gate and asked about the other places. He needed to know if he could use any of his own Pokemon in any of them.

Climmy tried the Battle Hall first. The challenge there is that you can only use one Pokemon and you choose the Type of Pokemon you face with opponents becoming tougher as you challenge more of that Type and as your streak continues. Climmy chose Meganium and started with Bug Types. Between a mix of Bug/Grass Pokemon showing up and pushing his luck with Rank 8 Bug, Climmy couldn’t win. After a while Climmy tried Ninetales and was able to earn a Battle Point for finishing a round of ten challenges. In his second round of the winning streak Ninetales easily beat the first Pokemon, but Will-o-Wisp missing and an unlucky Critical Hit ended the streak way too early. Climmy went back to having Meganium challenge the Battle Hall and with restraint against risks, they were able to learn battle points slowly but surely. In a third set of ten Climmy chose Ice Rank 3 thinking nothing could go wrong. He forfeited against a Snover and went to see if the Battle Arcade would be any better.

 **59:16** 1 BP!

 **59:21** **** 82.5% Accuracy and **** Critical Hits. Ninetales Battle Hall Streak over at 11. I’m going to the Safari Zone.

 **64:00** Meganium, Ice Rank 3! Nothing can go wro- ...I’ve never been so unhappy to see a Snover... Screw this, I’m going to the Battle Arcade.

 

The other facilities have three against three challenges, but Lugia was banned which made deciding which of his other three trained Pokemon to use very easy. The team order was also easy. Start with Meganium for Leech Seed before switching to Forretress for Entry Hazards.

 

The Battle Arcade felt like it was for beginners. It showed both trainers teams before the challenge started and gave you a roulette you could stop at any time for effects like status problems for one team or making one team have less HP, but the roulette was slow enough to let you easily stop on whatever you want. Despite not battling in the Battle Frontier, Climmy managed to win enough to face a Frontier Brain.

**Vs Arcade Star Dahlia**

Climmy didn’t want to wait. “I have two roulette speed downs active. Can I just tell you what square I want?” Dahlia didn’t let him. “You’d be amazed how many people miss even with it that slow.” Climmy nodded. “After Team Rocket, I’ll believe anything about how depressingly stupid people are.” Dahlia remarked, “Well after seeing you, I’ll believe anything about how insane people are.” Climmy analyzed the roulette and Dahlia’s team of Dusknoir, Ludicolo, and Medicham. “Anyway, judging by your team I won’t need to land on Poison or Burn. To make it so my Pokemon need to take less hits, I’m going to select something that will help us weather your Pokemon away quicker.” Dahlia laughed. “Was that a pun?” The roulette landed on Sandstorm and Climmy smirked. “You tell me.”

Meganium was sent into the sandstorm to face Dahlia’s lead, Dusknoir. Meganium started with Leech Seed to help Forretress and Dusknoir warped reality with Trick Room. As Dusknoir fired off a Will-o-Wisp, Climmy switched to Forretress who unfortunately got burned. Forretress laid down two layers of Spikes and two layers of Toxic Spikes while taking a barrage of Shadow Punches and was near his limit when Dusknoir hit his. (Down to 33 HP)

When Dahlia released Ludicolo onto the stage Climmy was thinking that he had already won and started underestimating Dahlia. Climmy asked Protect to give time for Toxic Spikes to sink in, then to save Forretress from a needless KO Climmy switched to Meganium who took a Waterfall without feeling much. (-24 HP, 122→113/146) Unable to do anything else, Meganium started using Protect to block three attacks, but the second Protect failed, giving Ludicolo an opportunity to break through with a Drain Punch. (-25 HP, 79→70/146) In the end, Ludicolo’s best efforts did only a little more than the sandstorm that Megainium’s own trainer had requested. (-49 vs -36 HP. 61/146 HP Left.)

Dahlia’s last Pokemon, Medicham, did not look like he wanted to let Climmy win. Climmy suspected it could KO Meganium, so he switched to Ninetales. As Ninetales entered, Medicham tried to smash her with Zen Headbutt but missed. Feeling confident, Climmy called for Confuse Ray, but to his shock Medicham obliterated Ninetales with a Critical Hit Zen Headbutt before she could move. With Ninetales down Climmy sent out Forretress who would ether go down to an overkill attack or his burn when using Protect. Climmy went for the latter then sent in Meganium when Forretress fainted. He was tense as he called for Protect and waited to see if Medicham would fall. Battered by the sandstorm and withered by poison, Medicham still refused to lose. He looked as though anything would knock him over, but he could still attack once more before going down. Climmy knew a coin flip would determine who would win as he called for another Protect. Medicham charged again with Zen Headbutt and with a thud one Pokemon fell. Protect had worked.

 **67:06** Battle Arcade Silver Print!

 

Round 4 “Battle” 1

Climmy’s next round of seven challenges started with stopping the roulette on an item. It was a good start, or so he thought until he heard, “Climmy’s Pokemon will be loaned the Black Sludge.” Climmy glared at the referee. “Is Dahlia always a sore loser?” The ref shrugged. “She usually takes it pretty well.”

 

Streak over at 21 wins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Battle Frontier is the only way to get TM 06. in Soul Silver If there was any other way to get it then I would have ignored the Battle Frontier.
> 
> HP changes for Forretress were the following against Dusknoir. Shadow Punch was the only attack used.
> 
> (Start) 151/151  
> (-18 HP) 133→115→97→112  
> (-21 HP) 91→106→88  
> (-18 HP) 70→52→67  
> (-19 HP) 48→30→33


	16. Plamer (Sidetraced by Madness - Part 2)

Climmy continued taking on the Battle Arcade and beat Dalia again, but even though beating her rewarded 20BP, he felt like he should be trying to take on another place. The Battle Hall seemed like a good place if he could restraint his risk taking, in the Battle Castle you have to earn healing, and the Battle Tower has normal three vs three challenges. There’s also the Battle Factory, but no. Just no. Climmy decided on the Battle Tower because he didn’t have any salty memories of it yet.

 

Over a week or two of taking on the Battle Tower Climmy had lost two challenges against Palmer. Once from Dragonite demolishing his team after too many Dragon Dances and once because of Leech Seed missing against Dragonite. To insult to injury, Palmer had given him a trophy for winning _twenty_ battles. Loosing, even before facing Palmer, had gotten to Climmy and he started down a dark and nerdy path, EV Training.

 

**Vs Tower Tycoon Palmer (Round 3)**

Climmy glared at Palmer determined not to lose again as he sent out Meganium. To Climmy’s surprise, Palmer lead with Dragonite. This messed with Climmy’s plans a little, but he could make this work. In fact, this seemed better than if Rhyperior lead like the last two times. The leading moves were Dragonite’s Thunder Wave and Meganium’s Leech Seed. Climmy thought carefully about the second move. Protect could let Dragonite use Dragon Dance without any resistance, Grass Whistle would need to work twice because of Dragonite’s Lum Berry, and switching to Forretress would guarantee that Dragon Dance would be used sooner than later. Climmy called for Grass Whistle, but it failed and Dragonite slammed into Meganium with Aerial Ace. (-102 HP, 83→129→149/185) Even after Meganium’s Sitrus Berry, Climmy did not want him to take another Aerial Ace. Climmy called for a move that could be risky after Thunder Wave, but against this Dragonite, what isn’t risky? Meganium blocked the next Aerial Ace with Protect then Climmy called him back. Climmy felt a bead of sweat when he saw Dragonite use Dragon Dance while he sent in Forretress. Climmy asked for Toxic Spikes and hoped for Thunder Wave because he’d given Forretress a Lum Berry, but instead Dragonite went on the warpath with Aerial Ace. (-73 HP, 105→125/178) Another Toxic Spikes and another Aerial Ace were used before Climmy called for Protect. (-69 HP, 56→76/178) The adrenalin of the battle was getting to Climmy, so instead of asking for Spikes he risked calling for Protect again, but it failed letting another Aerial Ace to batter Forretress. (-72 HP, 24→44/178) Dragonite only had moments before Leech Seed would finish him off and Climmy asked for the only move that would let Forretress do anything before going down, Protect. Dragonite stopped upon seeing the barrier and nodded accepting that he had lost before fainting.

Palmer smiled at Climmy approvingly and sent out Rhyperior. Now that it wasn’t the lead, it was actually threatening. Rhyperior shook the tower with an Earthquake as Climmy switched to Meganium. (-47 HP, 122/185) Climmy then asked for Leech Seed, but to his horror, not only did Meganium’s Paralysis stop him, but Rhyperior savagely Crunched him with a Critical Hit. (Crit! -100 HP , 22/185) To add insult to injury, it also lowered Meganium’s Defense. Protect was now the only option and thankfully, Meganium managed to use it once before being finished off with Earthquake. Rhyperior was reaching his limit when Climmy sent out Forretress. Protect was again the only option and again it stopped one move, but after that Rhyperior finished Forretress’s last stand with a final Earthquake. Forretress fell, but the Toxic Spikes also ended Rhyperior’s rampage.

No words were needed when the trainers sent out their last Pokemon. Climmy’s was the beautiful Ninetales, but Palmer’s was the even more beautiful, but equally horrifying, Milotic. Climmy accepted his loss, but that didn’t stop him from trying to win. When resistance is futile, resist any way! Climmy saw a sliver of hope as Ninetales cast Confuse Ray before Milotic could move and that sliver grew when Milotic used Attract. Ether Palmer was messing with him or he could tell by looking that Ninetales could endure one of Milotic’s attacks, so he was trying to stop Ninetales from doing anything before attacking. Milotic started using Hypnosis which took two tries to put Ninetales to sleep, but the sleep did nothing thanks to her Chesto Berry. Palmer called for Hypnosis again, but Milotic hit himself in confusion instead. When Palmer called for Hypnosis a fourth time, Ninetales finally went to sleep for more than a few seconds. Milotic looks like it could pull off one more move which meant that ether Palmer’s nerves got to him too, making him waste too much time trying to stop Ninetales from doing anything, or they were just toying with their opponents and Milotic really could take out Ninetales in one attack. Climmy didn’t know which one was more likely and therefor didn’t know what to expect when Milotic used Surf. All he knew was the challenge was over. Climmy couldn’t watch. He heard the thud of a Pokemon collapsing then Palmer’s voice. “I have no problem losing to spectacular trainers like you. Bravo!” (-140 HP, 35/175 HP!)

**117:43** Battle Tower Silver Print! (Only 50:37 after the last milestone! :D)

Climmy couldn’t believe he’d won. He couldn’t have won. He shouldn’t have won, but he’d won. “Thank you, but did you let me win?” Palmer said he’d messed up. “I knew Milotic’s Surf wouldn’t KO Ninetales and I knew she knew Rest, so I tried to stop her from using it only to make her not need it.” Climmy raised an eyebrow. “Really?...” Palmer shrugged. “I don’t blame you for doubting me after the trophy.” Climmy’s blood pressure rose. “Why did you give me the trophy? You seem like too nice of a guy to do something that mean.” Palmer explained, “I wanted to you to know what you were doing to your enemies.” Climmy nodded in understanding. It was a really good reason. “Thanks, but I already knew what pure anger feels after watching the “movie” Pixels and pure hatred from politics. By the way, it bothers me that I feel like you let me win.” Palmer stated, “The way I see it, all that matters is that you deserved to win, especially after your bad luck in our first battle, and a Frontier Brain’s word is law in their arena.”

The clerk blocked Climmy’s way out of the elevator. “For your victory against a Frontier Brain he would like to give you this.” Climmy opened Palmer’s gift and turned heads with his laughter at the Luigi hat. He thought about putting in on then and there, but he realized a good reason not to. If the time Milotic’s confusion kicked in would have been Hypnosis missing again, then Ninetales could have won by doing absolutely nothing instead of next to nothing! Climmy put the hat on Ninetales. After all, she deserves it more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't write up the two losses before April Fools Day, but after posting my Fire Red playthough I will write them into the story. (Sorry about this.)
> 
>  
> 
> These are my notes on the first battle against Palmer.
> 
> I’m salty a battle where I lost because of Leech Seed missing. >:( I know I still could have lost even if Leech Seed didn’t miss, but still... (Snap is short for Snapped out of Confusion.)
> 
> Meganium  
> Rhyperior  
> Protect  
> Crunch (Blocked)  
> Leech Seed  
> Crunch (126→149/172)  
> Forretress  
> Crunch (Crit 122→145/171)  
> Protect (168/172)  
> Earthquake (Blocked)  
> Earthquake (76→99/171)  
> Toxic Spikes  
> Protect (122/171)  
> Earthquake (Blocked)  
> Rock Wrecker (Miss)  
> Toxic Spikes  
> Protect (168/171)  
> Roar (Blocked)  
> Spikes  
> Roar → Ninetales  
> (Sliver of Health)  
> Meganium  
> Earthquake (149→101→107/172)  
> (KO)
> 
> Dragonite  
> Protect  
> Aerial Ace (Blocked)  
> Aerial Ace (3→46 Sitrus Berry/172)  
> Leech Seed (Miss)  
> Protect  
> Dragon Claw (Blocked)  
> Ninetales  
> Dragon Claw (66/168)  
> Will-o-Wisp (Lum Berry)  
> Dragon Claw (KO)  
> Forretress  
> Aerial Ace (168→120/171)  
> Swagger  
> Protect  
> Ow (1/3 of its HP?)  
> Dragon Dance (Snap)  
> Swagger  
> Protect  
> Ow (Lived...)  
> Protect  
> Dragon Claw (Snap + Blocked)  
> Aerial Ace (KO)  
> Meganium  
> Aerial Ace (KO)
> 
> THEN THEY ADDED INSULT TO INJURY BY GIVING ME A TROPHY FOR WINNING 20 BATTLES! 
> 
> 94:41 **** Palmer. If Myththbusters was still on I’d send them the trophy for whatever myth they can think of.
> 
> These are my notes for the second match against Palmer
> 
> Vs Palmer Round 2
> 
> As Palmer entered Climmy glared at him with hatred. Climmy lost the first challenge because Leech Seed missed, then Palmer gave Climmy a trophy for winning 20 battles. Doing a Classic Climmy Move is one thing, but doing it just for fun was another. When Climmy was cruel, it was because someone deserved it. When Palmer was cruel, it was just egotistical gloating.
> 
> Palmer: Good to see you back. I-  
> Climmy: Vengeance.  
> Palmer: You didn’t like the trophy?  
> Climmy: No one dares mock me.  
> Palmer: Whatever, lets battle.  
> Climmy: *death glare*  
> Palmer: What?  
> Climmy: Nobody’s stopping my rage now. All will be sadness. Smugness will become begging and I will watch the crimson tears leak from your eyes.  
> Palmer: 0_o “...Is it too late to apologize for the trophy?”  
> Climmy: *psychotic grinning and nodding while death glaring*
> 
> Meganium  
> Rhyperior  
> Leech Seed  
> Crunch (138→161/185)  
> Protect (184/185)  
> Crunch (Blocked)  
> Forretress  
> Crunch (157→178/178)  
> Earthquake (92→115/178)  
> Toxic Spikes  
> Protect (138/178)  
> Earthquake (Blocked)  
> Earthquake (58→81/178)  
> Toxic Spikes  
> Protect (104/178)  
> Earthquake (Blocked)  
> Meganium  
> Rock Wrecker (45→91(Sitrus Berry)→ 114/185)  
> Synthesis (Full Heal)  
> Recharge  
> (KO)
> 
> Dragonite  
> Thunder Wave  
> Leech Seed (MISS)  
> Aerial Ace (77→97/185)  
> Leech Seed  
> Protect (117/185)  
> Aerial Ace (Blocked)  
> Forretress  
> Aerial Ace (104→59→79/178)  
> Dragon Dance  
> Spikes  
> Aerial Ace (99→29→49/178)  
> Protect  
> Aerial Ace (Blocked)  
> Protect (Fail)  
> (KO)  
> Meganium  
> Paralysis  
> KO  
> Ninetales  
> Dragon Claw (36/175)  
> Will-o-Wisp (Lum Berry)  
> Dragon Claw


	17. Sidetracked by Madness - Part 3

With two Frontier Brains down Climmy returned to The Battle Hall and this time he was prepared. If the Battle Hall was for showing off your Pokemon, then a protest sign against battling in the Battle Frontier should help with Meganium’s popularity, especially if he pointed out that the Pokemon that fights is always worse off than the one that doesn’t.

Between learned restraint and the training done for Palmer, it was only a matter of time until Climmy faced Argenta. On his fourth round of ten challenges, Climmy selected Normal Rank 4 knowing there weren’t any Normal/Grass Types. He realized it would be longer than he thought until he faced the Frontier Brain when he saw his opponent’s Clefairy had Magic Guard. Well, that winning streak was over. Maybe the next one will reach fifty...

**Vs Hall Matron Argenta**

The one person who’s popularity in The Battle Hall rivaled Meganium’s own strolled onto stage to the cheers of the crowd. Climmy had heard that Argenta used whatever Pokemon she was in the mood for showing off, so he just had to hope it was one Meganium could win against. Climmy held his breath as Argenta tossed her Pokeball and his eyes widened as Magnezone came out. Things looked good. Argenta didn’t have a type advantage, so Meganium had a good chance of enduring, but Magnezone could be strong enough to not need the advantage. It was too soon to celebrate.

This was the show everyone had been waiting for, so Climmy started the challenge by asking the audience, “What move should Meganium use?” knowing how predictably they were after 49 challenges. Meganium listened to the chanting of Leech Seed and Magnezone started the challenge with Tri Attack. (-49 HP, 136→154/185) Even if Magnezone knew and used Flash Cannon, it could be healed with Synthesis. Climmy had already won, unless Tri Attack froze Meganium, but why should he ruin the show by saying so? Climmy asked again, “What should Meganium do now?” and Meganium obeyed the chanting of Protect. Asking a third time resulted in a Grass Whistle that successfully put Magnezone to sleep. Meganium used Leech Seed again to pass time then Climmy lead the chanting of Protect Protect Protect. The move was used incase Magnezone woke up, but it slept through the first Protect. The second Protect also worked and Magnezone slept through that one too, but Magnezone woke up just in time for the third to fail and launch another Tri Attack. (-49 HP, 136→154/185) Magnezone started eating a berry that Climmy had to ask about. “I’ve never seen a berry like that before. What does it do?” Argenta explained, “That’s a Ganlon Berry. It raises a Pokemon’s Defense.” Climmy stared quizzically until Argenta gave a reasonable excuse. “I don’t check who my opponent is before battles.” Protect was chanted again, but Argenta decided on wasting the Protect with a move that’s useless against Climmy, Mirror Coat. Climmy hadn’t seen that coming, but Magnezone was at its limit with only enough endurance for just one attack. Despite the move being chanted for, Meganium’s Protect couldn’t block the last attack, but that didn’t matter. Magnezone’s final move of Flash Cannon couldn’t have came close to a knockout. (-69 HP, 103→104/185) When Magnezone fainted, deafening cheering flooded the hall and a bouquet of roses flew from the crowd to land at Climmy’s feet. He knew he was a good showman, but didn’t realize he was good enough for that.

**126:09** Battle Hall Silver Print

 

Climmy only needed six more battle points, so he decided to try the Battle Castle. It seemed like a place that would hate him because you have to earn the right to recover, have items, or anything, but he was leaving soon so why not?

**Vs Castle Valet Darach**

Things went way better than expected and it didn’t take too long for Climmy to be told that his next battle would be against the Frontier Brain. He lowered their Pokemon’s Levels by 5. Better safe than sorry with someone like this. He then checked what the lead Pokemon was, Houndoom. Apparently the leader was ready to counter his team, but Ninetales seemed like she’d be able to take anything Houndoom tried thanks to the Leftovers Climmy had rented for everyone, so he wasn’t worried. When Climmy entered the battlefield he expected Caitlin to get off her throne, but instead Darch came in to be his opponent. Seriously? The butler? Okay, why not.

The lead Pokemon, Meganium and Houndoom, were sent out. Climmy wasn’t sure what Houndoom would try, so Climmy suggested Protect for scouting. When Houndoom used Counter, Climmy suspected that Darach had suspected the scouting attempt. When Counter was used again while Meganium used Leech Seed Climmy realized Darach had no idea who he was facing. Climmy switched to Ninetales and asked her to cast Confuse Ray, which made Houndoom do something other than use Counter, hit himself in confusion. It was pretty sad how long it took Darach to realize Climmy wasn’t attacking, especially after Ninetales used Will-o-Wisp twice. When he did catch on and ordered Crunch it did a good amount of damage, (-54 HP, 121→138→148/175 HP) but it was too little too late. Climmy saw that Houndoom could attack once more before going down, so Climmy switched to Forretress to take the hit much better and to prepare. Houndoom used Roar during the switch, but it failed to force another switch because of his lowered level. Climmy wondered how this guy of all people managed to become a Frontier Brain.

Darach released an Empoleon who would hopefully be a challenge. The lack of damage caused by Drill Peck while Forretress set up Toxic Spikes left Climmy disappointed. (-24 & -25 HP, 154→165/178 → 140→151/178) It was so pathetic that Climmy even felt safe switching to Ninetales. Drill Peck did slightly more to Ninetales, (-38 HP, 110→120/175) but not anywhere near enough to make Climmy feel like sending a Fire Type out against a Water Type was stupid. Climmy took the “risk” of asking for Will-o-Wisp and it paid off, not that the Attack Drop was needed with Empoleon’s pathetic Rock Slide. (-36 HP, 84→94/175) Ninetales cast Confuse Ray and was “crushed” by another Rock Slide then took a nap with Rest, nearly oblivious to yet another Rock Slide. (-34 HP, 141→151/175) As Emploeon used Rock Slide again, Climmy Switched back to Forretress. Climmy felt unamused when Rock Slide missed, not that hitting would have done anything, and even less amused when Drill Peck was nearly healed instantly. (-15 HP, 147→158/178) For unnecessary time to munch on his Leftovers, Forretress used Protect to block the next Drill Peck. When the barrier dropped Climmy’s mood got worse. Although Empoleon had used a good Water Type Move, it wasn’t a good move to have as your only Water Type Attack. Aqua Jet was just as ineffective as Drill Peck. (-15 HP, 154→165/178) As Protect blocked Empoleon’s final attack Climmy noted that Houndoom could have been threatening if it used the right moves, but Empoleon just had no chance of doing anything. To say hopes were not high for the last Pokemon would be an understatement.

Upon seeing the third Pokemon, Climmy finally thought he would have to work for his victory after all. Staraptor soared over the battlefield oblivious to the Toxic Spikes below. After thinking a bit Climmy decided that the least insane move was to switch to Meganium and an Aerial Ace during the switch actually supported that theory. (-72 HP, 113→124/185) Climmy suggested Protect for a little bit of extra healing and became disgusted by Staraptor’s move, Double Team. Darach had one Pokemon that could only do nothing because of the incompetence of its trainer, one Pokemon that could barely deal any damage, and then he had the audacity to try to claim victory through evasion. Climmy hoped that Caitlin would just get sick of this patheticness and leave. Another Double Team was used when Meganium used Leech Seed, but the evasion proved useless. Climmy had won. Staraptor’s Aerial Aces could be healed with Synthesis and Leech Seed is a move that only needs to get through evasion once. Not even a Critical Hit could take down Meganium. While Staraptor futilely battled on Climmy told Darach exact what he thought of him.

**130:24** Battle Castle Silver Print

 

After procrastinating for a month it was finally time for Kanto.

* * *

**Meganium - Level 50 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**

Leech Seed  
Protect  
Grass Whistle  
Synthesis

If you ask me, this is pretty much a perfect move set.

**Forretress - Level 50 - Calm (+SpD -Atk)**  
Toxic Spikes  
Swagger  
Spikes  
Protect

Swagger is getting replace with Stealth Rock as soon as I reach Celadon City.

**Ninetales - Level 50 - Jolly (+Spe -Atk)**  
Will-o-Wisp  
Confuse Ray  
Roar  
Rest

Other move sets that work include not having any moves!

**Lugia - Level 50 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Whirlwind  
Toxic  
Rest  
Trick

I spent BP on Trick to steal Leftovers from Koga because I can't buy Leftovers.

**Pupitar - Level 50 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Toxic  
Protect  
Rest

This would not have been worth catching as early as possible because it gets nothing until it evolves into Tyranitar. Tyranitar has the ability Sand Stream which causes an endless Sandstorm. (Until X and Y. After those games it's just five turns.) Roar is being taught after it evolves.

***Shiny Lunatone* - Level 50 - Jolly (+Spe -SpA)**  
Toxic  
Cosmic Power  
Gravity  
Rest

OMG SHINY! Do I need another reason to use my Shiny Lunatone? Gravity allows for overkill against Flying Types when you have Spikes ans Toxic Spikes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Best Winning Streaks
> 
> Battle Arcade: 28 Wins  
> Battle Hall: 57 Wins  
> Battle Tower: 25 Wins  
> Battle Castle: 36 Wins  
> Battle Factory: 1 Pokemon
> 
>  
> 
> How Streaks ended
> 
> Battle Arcade: The roulette in Round 5 is too fast to guarantee a good result, even if there is one, but what really killed me was facing a good team.
> 
> Battle Tower: I used Swagger on an Altaria that knew Dragon Dance and Rest. (Swagger just made it go from loss to overkill.) I really like Altaria, so I’m happy with that loss.
> 
> Battle Hall: A Rotom’s Signal Beam confused Meganium so he couldn’t heal. I hate hax, but I was actually pretty happy with this losing this way because something like that was going to happen sooner or later and it was way better than loosing because of the game gave you a Grass Type.
> 
> Battle Castle: You know you have problems when you lose to Mono Water. I want to blame an Ice Beam Freeze, but I probably still would have lost if it hadn’t frozen.
> 
> Battle Factory: I should be explaining how I got a KO instead of how I lost. Hail Castfrom and Flatter Nidorana. My third Pokemon was useless, but for those wondering, it was Flaaffy.


	18. Kanto

**134:05** Welcome to Kanto

Climmy knew that everything would be easy after what he’d been through, so he decided if he was going to be overkill, he was going to be maximum overkill. The gym leaders wouldn’t stand a chance if he challenged everyone else in Kanto first.

 

Climmy met Young Couple Moe & Lulu on Route 7 and couldn’t believe their lack of teamwork. He had to do something about their extreme anti-synergy and did so with dating advise. “Your girl friend used Sunny Day when you had a Water Type and she used Nature Power when she knew it would become Earthquake, because it was Earthquake the first time, when both of my Pokemon were immune... You could date smarter people.” Moe sadly said, “No I couldn’t. She’s the smartest girl would date a proud sexist like me.” Lulu chimed in cheerfully, “Yep, I’m smart!” Climmy was starting to get what he called the idiot headache. “You both need to rethink your lives...”

A Snorlax blocked Diglett’s Cave, but where most people saw annoyance Climmy saw opportunity. He summoned Lugia and asked for Trick to steal the Leftovers he saw Snorlax’s holding. Snorlax wasn’t happy about having its food taken, but that wouldn’t be Climmy’s problem for more than a few seconds. Whirlwind is really useful for not dealing with problems.

 **137:25** Leftovers!

Climmy ordered delivery and had a picnic on Route 15 in the middle of a challenge. Teacher Colette had a Clefairy... with Magic Guard... What else could he do while waiting for Struggle?

 **140:23** Magic Guard Clefairy down. I don’t know when the “battle” started and I don’t want to know.

Climmy started to order another Stromboli on Route 3 when Hiker Bruce summoned his Clefairy, but quickly canceled the order when he realized it had Cute Charm.

On Route 21 Climmy met Chelan, a swimmer that was dumb even for dumb blonde stereotypes. “I love bikinis! If I had an electric bikini, I could wear it even in the winter!” Climmy couldn’t tell yet if she was dumb or just really good at being deadpan. “Please tell me what you said was a joke.” Chelan tilted he head. “It wasn’t.” Climmy glared in annoyance. “I can simulate how  your idea would work by dropping a toaster. Would you like me to demonstrate?” Chelan showed some intelligence. “It would be a waterproof bikini, duh.” Climmy showed far more intelligence. “Even if we assume it’s a waterproof electric bikini, that still only heats areas only someone with very skewed priorities would want heated.” Chelan didn’t see the problem. “That’s okay as long as any part of me gets heated!” Climmy was starting to get irritated. “You’d deserve the hypothermia you’d get. I don’t know much about hypothermia, so I’m going to use that as an excuse to guess that the results can be simulated with a toaster. Would you like me to demonstrate?” Chelan tried to put on a sad puppy dog face and asked, “Why do you hate my idea?” Climmy made his hatred as clear as possible. “I hate when stupid people do or say ‘brilliant things.’” Chelan perked up. “You think it’s a good idea?” Climmy starting developing a headache. “No! I said “brilliant” with as much sarcasm as I could!” Chelan almost broke Climmy with two words, “What’s sarcasm?” Climmy stared in disbelief while Chelan cheerfully smiled, trying to charm Climmy with her looks. Climmy spoke his mind, “Please join some criminal team so I can justify using psychological torture on you.”

On Route 20 another Swimmer named Leona tested Climmy’s self restraint. “Look, It’s my very best swimsuit and my very best Pokemon!” She seemed nice, so Climmy wasn’t going to insult her best no matter how ugly her swimsuit was, but it was harder to hold his tongue when she sent out Bidoof.

Climmy didn’t see any problems with going to Fuchsia’s Pokemon Center for healing after Route 19. The construction workers should be done by- Oh, they weren’t. Well, maybe he could ask. “Can you let me through?” The worker’s response showed the obstructiveness of a bureaucrat. “We need to move rocks out of the way first.” Climmy pointed out the flaw in their logic. “You told me that when I was on the other side. Which side is safer to be on?” The worker shrugged. “I don’t know I don’t work here.” Climmy started to get angry. “You’re seriously trying that excuse?” The worker also started getting angry. “The sooner you leave the sooner we can get back to work.” Climmy’s eye started twitching “Is the barrier supposed to stop people from leaving Fuchsia or going into to Fuchsia?” The idiot claimed it was to stop both ways. Climmy screamed, “WHY!” and the worker gave what was possibly the worst excuse possible, “We just don’t want to deal with people.” Climmy’s glare would have intimidated a smarter man. “If you had just let me through then I would have left long ago!” A dismissive whatever made Climmy’s voice grew cold. “Do you know who I am?” The worker grew bold. “Yes, and you wouldn’t do anything to a good person like me.” The pacifist started preparing for the warpath. “If you were a good person you’d apologize and let me through.” The worker chose his words poorly. “You can’t boss me around!” Climmy tossed a Pokeball and yelled, “Forretress, Stealth Rock!” Climmy enjoyed the sorrowful screaming of “NO!” as he swam into the sunset back to Cinnabar. When The construction worker stopped screaming he saw through his tears Climmy’s silhouette in the distance stopping for a moment flip him off.

A little later Climmy heard Swimmer Tucker panting, “Just a little more... to Fuchsia.” Climmy didn’t want to say it, but he had to. “I’ve got some bad news...”

 

The last highlight before Climmy’s gym gauntlet was seeing a familiar face at Mt. Moon.“Hey Dude, long time no see! How many Kanto badge do you have?” Dude showed off his badge case with seven Kanto badges. Climmy nodded approvingly. “Nice. I haven’t challenged any Kanto Gym Leaders yet.” Dude wasn’t sure if he wanted to ask, but he asked why anyway. Climmy grinned. “I’m going to challenge everyone else in Kanto first, letting the gyms be the finale. When I beat one leader they’ll tell the others because the way I ‘fight’ is unique. By the time they get the news I’ll already be challenging the next leader then that leader will tell the next about me and soon they will know I’m coming. I’ll have earned eight badges out of nowhere.” Dude admitted, “That sounds impressive, but... why that way?” Climmy hadn’t given much thought to why, but when he thought about it one possible reason stood out. “I guess I’m mostly doing it for the looks on their faces.” Dude tried and failed to comprehend Climmy’s reason. “...I don’t understand you.” Climmy shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure if even I understand me... Want to fight me?”

 **154:00** Vs Dude

The rivals sent out their first Pokemon, Meganium and Sneasel. Meganium was hit by Feint Attack (19 HP, 187→201/106) before he used Leech Seed then Climmy called him back and summoned Forretress who recovered every hit taken instantly. Forretress set up as many layers of Entry Hazards as he could then Climmy switched to one of the Pokemon he met in the Safari Zone, Tyranitar, for his fun ability. As Sand Stream unleashed a sandstorm Sneasel managed to cause some lasting damage with a Faint Attack before going down, but it next to no damage. (-9 HP, 214/223) Climmy grinned because Sneasel had done nothing but let him lay the path for The Pacifist’s Overkill.

Dude released the one Pokemon he had that resisted the overkill, Magneton. Climmy switched to Ninetales as Magneton Discharged (-33 HP, 161→149/194) then Ninetales burned Magneton with Will-o-Wisp while Magneton paralyzed her with Thunder Wave. Climmy wanted to start The Pacifist’s Overkill, so he asked for Roar. Magenton tried Supersonic, but unfortunately for Dude, it failed and Ninetales Roared to force a switch.

Dude summoned Typhlosion and Climmy couldn’t help but admire the entry hazards. Three layers of Spikes dealt about a fourth of what Typhlosion could take and Stealth Rock would dealt another fourth. Typhlosion was half way to being defeated just by being summoned, so Climmy asked for Roar again. Typlosion used his best move before being switched out, Swift. (-24 HP, 101→89/194)

Dude’s fourth Pokemon, Golbat, started with charging in for Poison Fang (-34 HP, 65→53/194) as Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp. Climmy called for Rest and Golbat’s  Air Cutter (-18 HP, 35/194) and Sandstorm meant that Ninetales needed to fight through her paralyses to continue the challenge. Ninetales successfully used Rest then Climmy switched to Lugia to get the legend some experience. Golbat unleashed an Air Cutter during the switch (-15 HP, 206→193/221) and Climmy say that Stealth Rock would finish Golbat’s resistance, so Climmy asked for Whirlwind while Golbat used another Air Cutter. (-13 HP, 180→167/221)

Dude sent out Alakazam who’s Synchronize inflicted the Toxic Spikes on Lugia. Alakazam used Recover to heal the damage the entry hazards did, but Lugia made sure that damage would come back with Whirlwind.

Magneton was resummoned, but Climmy didn’t see much reason to care. He asked Lugia to use Rest because Synchronize in addition to the sandstorm were starting to add up. Even though it was only affected by its burn and the entry hazards, Magneton was still only able to Discharge twice before going down. (-50 & -58 HP, 161→148/221 → 92→79/221)

With Dude’s summoning of Gengar, his last Pokemon, Climmy switched to Ninetales in hopes of a burn. On the switch Gengar cast a Shadow Ball (-62 HP, 130→118/194) then it used Mean Look while Ninetales slept. Another Shadow Ball pushed Ninetales near her limit (-67 HP, 51→39/194) and Climmy couldn’t consider Rest as a way to endure because the last Shadow Ball lowered her Special Defense. Instead Climmy called for a Confuse Ray, the confusion didn’t stop Gengar from knocking out Ninetales. Climmy released Meganium who wasn’t attacked when he used Leech Seed, thanks to Gengar’s confusion. Meganium used Protect but it proved pointless as Gengar’s confusion kicked in again. Gengar was the point where the sandstorm would finish it off before Leech Seed could heal Meganium, so Climmy had to choose between a weakened Synthesis or the coin flip of Protect. Climmy asked for Protect which managed to block Gengar’s move, Mean Look... Not the best move when you’re going to faint...

Golbat and Typhlosion were both resummoned only to fall to the Entry Hazards instantly then Dude resummoned his last Pokemon standing, Alakazam. Meganium used Leech Seed and Alakazam used Psychic (45 HP, 149→137→152/206) then Climmy switched to Lugia who took the second Psychic better. (-18 HP, 61→48→63/221) Climmy suggested Rest when Lugia woke up while Alakazam desperately used Recover repetitively to try to endure, but Toxic Spikes harshly punished the attempt. When Alakazam accepted the loss he went down attacking with one last Psychic. (-21 HP, 200→187→202/221)

 **154:18** Dude Defeated

* * *

“No Attacks” does not mean “No Overkill” and does not even come close. I wish there was a way to show how much I love stacking chip damage, but the closest I can get is recommending a Diamond/Pearl/Platinum Status Moves Only Run with Hippopotas.

If you think 3+X/16th damage each turn was brutal, imagine if I could Poison _and_ Burn Pokemon... while they’re Sleeping. >:D


	19. Vs Brock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the run is a gauntlet, if you can still call it that when you’re armed with The Pacifist’s Overkill.

On Cinnabar’s coast a legendary trainer watched the waves on the horizon. To his disbelief he saw someone who hadn’t been seen for a few years swimming towards him. “Red?” The trainer made it to land and asked in disbelief, “Dude! You recognize me?” the trainer Climmy called Dude sighed, “Oh, you’re not Red...” Climmy introduced himself, “I’m Climmy. Was Red your best friend? Did you grow up together in Pallet Town?” Dude nodded and Climmy started getting excited. “I know this sounds crazy, but ask Lance if you don’t believe me. I’m from a different timeline or universe.” Dude laughed. “You’re that Climmy? The Pacifist on the Warpath?” Climmy grinned. “And I’m pretty sure I’m an alternate version of Red.” Dude’s eyes widened. “You! But you’re not mute!” Climmy couldn’t help but laugh at that difference. “Dude, there’s lots of differences between our worlds. Why couldn’t one of those differences be a fear of violence instead of mutism?” Dude nodded. “Why do you keep saying Dude?” Climmy was hopeful about one potential difference. “The version of you I know goes by Dude. Don’t blame you when you share a name with your sister Daisy.” Dude burst out laughing and when he stopped Climmy said he wasn’t joking. Dude laugh even harder. “What kind of messed up world do you come from?” Climmy shrugged. “One were the one idiot that uses Status Moves Only became the top Pokemon. Want to face me?” Dude asked how many Kanto Badges Climmy had, which happened to be zero, then told him that he needed seven. Climmy said to wait there.

 

When Climmy returned Dude started to remind him, “I told you, I’m not fighting you until you have sev- How!” Climmy put away his badge case. “I don’t believe it either. Three hours is a really good time without attacking. It would have been quicker if I remembered about the trainers in Saffron’s Gym...” Dude was at a loss of words, so Climmy continued, “I challenged everyone in the region except the Gym Leaders, we had our talk, then I flew from gym to gym. Without time for the news to spread everyone got to be shocked about that mad pacifist and the looks on everyone’s faces were hilarious. Want to see them?” Climmy pulled out his phone to show Dude then took a picture before making one last remark. “I’ll be at Viridian. Smell ya later.” Dude had trouble understanding what just happened and it didn’t help when Koga of the Elite Four called Climmy as sensei and they flew off on his Crobat.

 

**Three hours earlier**

Climmy stood in front of Pewter gym thinking about what the best music would be. He thought it’s hard to go wrong with the Smash Bros soundtrack so he started there and it didn’t take him long for one song’s name to catch his eye. The obvious choice for an unknown challenger who would take down Kanto in mere hours. Climmy pushed the doors wide open and strolled in. He could have sworn Brock’s head was bobbing as he approached his podium. Climmy stood before the first of eight trainers in his gauntlet and Brock asked, “I love this song, but why are playing music?” Climmy started to smile. “I’m a bit of a showman, so glad you like it, but do you know what this song’s called?” Brock didn’t know where this was going, but he knew the song. “It’s ‘You Will Know Our Names’ from Xenoblade.” Climmy’s grin widened as gestured to the Pokemon at his side. “These are my friends, and I’m the one idiot trainer that hates attacking. We’ve challenged everyone we can find in Kanto saving gym leaders for last. Now we’re flying from gym to gym to go from zero to eight badges out of nowhere. Needless to say, You Will Know Ours Names.” Brock understood now. “You’re Climmy.” Climmy stopped the music. “I was hoping to get past the first gym before being expected... Well, I have a Plan B for getting a reaction. Reveal yourself, student!” A smoke bomb burst and when the smoke cleared Climmy took a picture of Brock with his eyes open.

**154:41** Vs Brock

Brock started with Graveler and Climmy wanted to keep up the shock, so he lead with Ninetales. Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp while Graveler used Defense Curl then Climmy switched to Forretress for the six layers of entry hazards. Graveler used Defense Curl after Forretress’s first move then Earthquake once, (-22 HP, 176→188/198) which was pathetic after Leftovers, before going back to spamming Defense Curl. Forretress was laying down the final layer when Brock used a Full Restore and Climmy decided it was time for Lugia. Graveler tired to crush the legend with Rock Slide (-60 HP, 165/225) and despite the type advantage, Lugia only seemed to care a little and used Whirlwind.

Omastar was summoned and he used Ancient Power before being forced out (-56 HP, 109/225) then Graveler and Rhyhorn thought the moves Defense Curl and Scary Face were good ideas when they knew Whirlwind was coming. Climmy wasn’t one to enjoy moves missing, but Rhyhorn deserved Scary Face missing if he was stupid enough to use it.

When Brock sent out Kabutops Climmy thought it was finally a good idea to use Rest. Kabutops unleashed a Rock Slide, but it missed. While Lugia slept Rock Slide was used again and missed again. Climmy knew he should feel good about his luck, but he just felt sorry for Brock and was thankful when the third Rock Slide landed on target. (-72 HP, 153/225) Kabutops was at his limit so it didn’t matter if the fourth Rock Slide made Lugia flinch or not. The Rock Slide crushed Lugia (-76 HP, 87/225) and the legend retaliated with Whirlwind.

Graveler was resummoned by the Whirlwind then was unsummoned by another after a Defense Curl making Brock release Omastar. Lugia Rested again letting Omastar blast the legend with two Ancient Powers before fainting. (-60 & -62 HP, 165/225 → 103/225) With the fall of Omastar, Kabutops was resummoned only to be knocked out by the entry hazards and Graveler soon shared the same fate.

Brock released Rhyhorn who proved to be very “threatening” with Scary Face. Lugia used Rest again and Brock used a Full Restore. The only time Rhyhorn dealt any damage was when he used Sandstorm right before Whirlwind. Brock’s final Pokemon, Onix was forced out and he tried to crush Lugia with Rock Slide but missed, letting Lugia use Whirlwind again. Climmy started to suspect Rhyhorn’s only attack was Earthquake when he used Sandstorm again before Whirlwind. With Onix’s second time sent out he was able to land a Rock Slide, (-32 HP, 151→137/225) but Lugia didn’t care and kept on spamming Whirlwind. Rhyhorn did nothing again and when Onix was sent out the third time Rock Slide was just as ineffective, (-32 HP, 105/225) but this time it made Lugia flinch. Onix restarted the Sandstorm, but it was too little too late. Lugia’s final Whirlwind resummoned Rhyhorn who was knocked out by the entry hazards that would also knockout Onix upon his resummoning.

**154:54** Bolder Badge

Climmy took the badge and told Brock, “Please tell the other gym leaders about me and be quick of you want Misty to hear before I challenge her.” Climmy turned to Koga. “Can Crobat carry two people?”


	20. Vs Misty

Climmy asked the second gym leader before challenging her, “Hey, have you heard anything interesting in the last four minutes?” Misty didn’t think news should reach her that fast. “No, why?” Climmy perked up at the lack of news. “Brock just faced someone interesting.” Misty wondered, “How were they interesting?” Climmy started You Will Know Our Names again. “You’ll see.”

**154:58** Vs Misty

Meganium and Golduck started the challenge with Leech Seed and Disable respectively. Disable amused Climmy not only because Leech Seed was a move you only wanted once, but Disable’s effect was canceled by switching, which Climmy was already planning on doing. Climmy switched to Forretress who took laughable damage from Golduck’s Psychic (-14 HP, 184→198/198) then nearly recovered the incoming Water Pulse with Leech Seed and Leftovers (-34 HP, 164→182→194/198) as he used Stealth Rock. Climmy decided on that layer first in case Golduck used Disable, which it did. Now the one move he didn’t want anymore was Disabled. From there Forretress laid down the other five layers of entry hazards then continued taking Golduck’s barrage of easily negated Water Pulses after Misty used a Full Restore. The only bit of trouble came when Protect was Disabled shortly before Golduck fainted which allowed a little bit of lasting damage to happen.* (Down to 185/198)

Misty sent out Quagsire who unleashed Earthquake after Earthquake,* the first of which being a Critical Hit. (Crit! -74 HP, 121→133/198) Quagsire hit hard, but Forretress stood there living up to his name. Right before Quagsire’s last attack before Toxic Spikes would take it down, Disable wore off and Forretress denied the final hit.

Misty summoned Lapras to battle. Climmy suggested the only move that had a chance of doing anything, Protect, which managed to block Lapras’s Sing. Protect worked a third time in a row, to the amusement of Climmy, and it blocked a Water Pulse. The fourth Protect failed, but Sing also failed. Climmy asked for Protect yet again, confident that Lapras would fall to Toxic Spikes, but Misty used a Full Restore. Climmy couldn’t believe he’s forgotten about those, but calmly switched to Lugia as Lapras used Sing to no effect. Climmy suspected Ice Beam and had a paranoid thought about the slim chance of freezing, so he asked for Toxic instead of Whirlwind. Upon being poisoned, Lapras blasted Lugia with Ice Beam (-62 HP, 167/229) and Climmy’s paranoia was justified when it froze the legend. Climmy kept Lugia in in hopes of thawing, but after two more Ice Beams (-68 & -74 HP, 99/229 → 25/229) Climmy was forced to switch back to Forretress who was better off after the Ice Beam than when Lapras was first summoned. (-24 HP, 109→122/198) Forretress used Protect to block Water Pulse then tried it again to block another one. The second Water Pulse was blocked and Lapras couldn’t endure Toxic any more.

Misty released Starmie, her final Pokemon, who blasted Water Pulses from start to finish. Resisting Starmie started like resisting Quagsire, with a Critical Hit, (-73 HP, 72→84/198) but this time with Confusion from Water Pulse.* Forretress managed to block the second Water Pulse, but confusion prevented the blocking of the next two and Forretress was near his limit. Starmie looked like it had one or two attacks left, but Climmy made sure it was just one when he switched to Tyranitar for Sand Stream. The final Water Pulse was supper effective, but that doesn’t matter much when the Pokemon taking it has defenses compatible to Lugia. (-44 HP 179/223)

**155:14** Cascade Badge

Climmy took out his phone. “Yes, that just happened. Say cheese.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP Changes for Forretress against Golduck were the following. The first attack was Psychic, but the rest were Water Pulse. Ow means Forretress hurt itself in confusion.
> 
> (Summoned) 198/198  
> (-14 HP) 184→198  
> (-28 HP) 170→188→198  
> (-33 HP) 165→183→195  
> (-33 HP) 162→180→192  
> (Full Restore) 198  
> (Protect) 198  
> (-30 HP) 168→186→198 + Confusion  
> (Ow, -31 HP) 186→155→173  
> (Protect) 185  
> (Disable) 198  
> (-30 HP) 168→173→185/198
> 
> HP Changes for Forretress against Quagsire were the following. Earthquake was the only attack used.
> 
> (Quagsire Enters) 185/198  
> (Crit! -74 HP) 121→133  
> (-36 HP) 97→109  
> (-30 HP) 79→91  
> (-30 HP) 61→73  
> (Protect) 83/198
> 
> HP Chances for Forretress against Starmie were the following. Water Pulse was the only attack used and Ow still means Confusion.
> 
> (Starmie Enters) 145/198  
> (Crit! -73 HP) 72→84/198 + Confusion  
> (Protect) 96  
> (Protect)  
> (-33 HP, Ow) 63→51→63/198  
> (-34 HP, Ow) 29→18→30/198


	21. Vs Lt. Surge

Climmy wanted to make one thing clear before challenging Lt. Surge. “Two years ago, at least in an alternate timeline, you loved Double Team and it did nothing except prove you rely on evasion to win. Please tell me that’s not still true.”

**155:18** Vs Lt. Surge

Climmy summoned Meganium to face Lt. Surge’s Raichu. Raichu started with Double Team to the annoyance of Climmy, but the evasion didn’t stop Meganium’s Leech Seed. Climmy switched to Forretress while Raichu used Double Team again then it was used a third equally effective time while Forretress laid down the first layer of Toxic Spikes. After that Raichu switched to offence with Shock Wave. (-34 HP, 164→180→192/198) The low power of the move let Leech Seed and Leftovers nearly heal the damage, so Forretress laid the rest of the entry hazards without caring about Raichu’s attacks. Surge used a Full Restore while Forretress laid the final layer and the break form attacks let him regain full health. Climmy switched to Tyranitar and became annoyed when Raichu used Thunder Wave. He couldn’t believe Surge waited until after the entry hazards were down before trying to paralyze Forretress... Raichu discharged a barrage of Shock Waves that were almost healed by Leech Seed while Tyranitar tried forcing a switch with Roar, but Raichu’s evasion made the first three miss and gave it lots of time for a Shock Wave barrage. The fourth Roar forced Raichu back to its Pokeball and by then it had been drained enough that the entry hazards would cause it to be knocked out.

Surge’s second Pokemon, Magneton, was almost perfect for the situation, almost. Magneton used Double Team while Climmy switched to Ninetales who quickly cast Will-o-Wisp but missed. Magneton tired Supersonic in response, but it failed allowing Ninetales to cast another Will-o-Wisp, one that managed to inflict a burn. Magneton blasted Ninetales with a Shock Wave (-28 HP, 142→130/194) that added to the damage of currently counterproductive sandstorm then Supersonic causing confusion that stopped Ninetales from Roaring. (-16 HP,114→102/194) Climmy wasn’t in the mood for dealing with confusion and switch to Tyranitar. Upon entering Tyranitar took a Shock Wave (-21 HP, 167/223) then as he started to use Roar he had his accuracy lowered by Mirror Shot. (-42 HP, 125/223) The accuracy drop annoyed Climmy, but it ended up doing nothing and Tryanitar forced the switch.

Raichu was resummoned only to fall the entry hazards then Magneton was sent out again and barely endured the entry hazards. Climmy expected a Full Restore, but instead Magneton used Double Team. Magneton’s burn could have finished it off, but Tyranitar’s Roar delayed the KO and would add insult to injury when it did happen.

Surge released an Electrode who’s first move was Double Team. Climmy asked for Roar, but paralysis prevented it. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise when the passive onslaught of Sand Stream and Toxic Spikes hurt Electrode enough that it wouldn’t be able to take the entry hazards again. Electrode unleashed a Shock Wave (-18 HP, 107/223) and then Tyranitar Roared.

Surge sent Electabuzz out to battle. Climmy though Tyranitar was safe, but Electabuzz’s Low Kick begged to differ. With Tyranitar knocked out Climmy summoned Forretress and called for Protect. A Shock Wave was blocked and without anything better to try Forretress tried Protect again which blocked another Shock Wave. Electabuzz couldn’t endure any more of the passive onslaught after that last attack and fainted.

Climmy was unammused at Surge when he sent out a different Electrode. Climmy switched to Lunatone who knew Toxic for when Surge used another Full Restore and, predictably, Double Team was used during the switch. Climmy called for Cosmic Power and Electrode Screeched. The only reason Climmy could think of for Screech was if Electrode knew Explosion, but Surge wouldn’t be stupid enough to use that move when his other two Pokemon were too weakened to take the entry hazards. Climmy was right, Surge wasn’t that stupid. Electrode used Self-Destruct (-63 HP, 106/169) and Climmy was dumbfounded that Surge was even stupider.

Climmy asked for the badge, but Surge said the battle wasn’t over yet and sent out Magneton who failed to last more than a second. Climmy glared and asked for the badge again, but Surge resummoned his first Electrode to predictable results, before reluctantly giving Climmy the badge.

**155:33** Surge Badge

Climmy “I hate people that use Double Team. I may have used it, but it wasn’t my only plan. People that use Double Team tend to use it as their only plan and when they win it’s not skill, it’s luck. You have shown no skill. You suck.” Climmy took a picture then yelled as he left, “Peace out, noob!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP changes against Raichu were the following. Shock Wave was the only attack used.
> 
> Forretress
> 
> (Start) 198/198  
> (-34 HP) 164→180→192  
> (-34 HP) 158→174→186  
> (-34 HP) 152→168→180  
> (-36 HP) 144→160→172  
> (Full Restore) 188→198/198
> 
> (Switch to Tyranitar)
> 
> Tyranitar
> 
> (Switch) 223/223  
> (-22 HP) 201→217  
> (-21 HP) 196→212  
> (-19 HP) 193→209  
> (-21 HP) 188/223


	22. Vs Erika

Climmy arrived at the gym of his favorite leader and almost wished he was there for another reason. When he approached Erica’s podium he said, “I’d like to relax with the one person that doesn’t challenge everyone they see, but I’m kind of annoyed after Lt. Surge and I’m trying to earn all the badges as quickly as possible.” Erica smiled. “Maybe we can have tea another time.” Climmy’s mood brightened. “I’d love that! I don’t get how your tea can be so good... How is it that good? Anyway, with Ninetales by my side, this should be quick.”

**155:35** Vs Erica

Erika released Jumpluff and Climmy started with Ninetales which gave him a type advantage for once. Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp and Jumpluff’s starting move was Leech Seed. Climmy noted that even when he’s not using it, Leech Seed is always a starting move. Leech Seed was healing what the burn dealt, but if Climmy switched the Pokemon sent in next would have Leech Seed used on it. If Jumpluff was forced out then Leech Seed couldn’t be used again when Climmy switched unless Erica had another Pokemon with Leech Seed, but what were the odds of that? Jumpluff used Sunny Day, which would be extremely stupid against literally any other trainer with a Fire Type out, when Climmy asked Ninetales to Roar.

Tangela was forced into battle, but Climmy would soon wish anything else was summoned instead. Tangela hit hard and hit fast with Wring Out (-38 HP, 108→84/194) while Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp but missed. Climmy thought it was safe to let Ninetales try again, but she was smashed by Ancient Power dealing heavy damage. (-46 HP, 38→14/194) Ninetales managed to endure and retaliate with Will-o-Wisp then Climmy returned her to her Pokeball and summoned Forretress. Tangela smashed Forretress with Ancient Power* during the switch then again while he set up Stealth Rock. Before Forretress could set up another layer of hazards he was put to sleep by Sleep Powder, but the sleep only prevented one move, making it effectively the same as Forretress using Protect. While Forretress set up the remaining layers of hazards Tangela unleashed two more Ancient Powers, the last of which raised all its stats, then used a Sleep Powder that ended up being as pointlessly short as the first one. Tangela was getting low on health, but Climmy wasn’t sure when Erika would use a Full Restore. At one point Climmy thought he’d missed the point where she would use one if she was going to use one, but he was wrong. Tangela’s burn was healed.

Climmy let Forretress lay down the last layer of entry hazards before switching and Tangela used Sleep Powder but missed. Climmy couldn’t switch to Ninetales because her health was too low, Meganium couldn’t do anything, Lugia was in the PC because Erica didn’t think it was unfair trainers need Cut to face her, Tyranitar... could actually work. Climmy switched to Tyranitar and immediately regretted it when Tangela scattered Sleep Powder. Climmy kept Tyranitar in with hopes that he’s wake up knowing his naturally high Special Defense buffed to extreme levels by Sand Stream would let him take a few hits. Tyranitar slept through two savage Giga Drains (-82 & -78 HP, 151/223 → 73/223) before Climmy had to switch back to Forretress. From there it was stalling until ether the Sandstorm took down Tangela or Struggle. Climmy called for Protect to let Forretress heal with Leftovers, switched back to Tyranitar who wouldn’t be affected by Sleep Powder, switched back to Forretress to take Giga Drain, then repeated for a long time cutting out Protect once Forretress was at full health again.

Tangela eventually ran out of power points in Giga Drain and had started using Wring Out when Climmy switched to Tyranitar (-9 HP, 64/223) Climmy switched back to Forretress incase Giga Drain still had power points, but judging by Wring Out, it didn’t. (-40? HP, 156→169/202) Climmy switched to Tyranitar again who took Wring Out again (-8 HP, 56/223) then asked for Protect hoping that he’d wake up soon. Tyranitar woke up and blocked Tangela’s attack, Struggle. The sandstorm had nearly made Tangela run out of endurance, so Climmy wondered if he should ask for Rest or risk Protect. Like an idiot, he chose Protect for the amusement of stopping Struggle’s recoil from knocking out Tangela only for the Sandstorm to do it anyway. Protect failed and Struggle did more damage than Climmy expected. (-13 HP, 43/223)

Climmy was glad to see Erika’s third Pokemon was Bellossom, a Grass Type affected by Toxic Spikes. To preserve Tyranitar Climmy switched to Meganium who took a Giga Drain that might have finished Tyranitar. (-16 HP, 194→181/210) To see what Bellossom would attack with, Climmy requested Protect. Bellossom “attacked” with Sunny Day. Climmy then suggested Synthesis incase the real attack hurt right before Bellossom fired a Solar Beam that proved that adorable looks can be very deceiving. (-61 HP, 149/210) Even though Meganium healed it instantly it was still very impressive. That said, switching to Tyranitar made the next Solar Beam less impressive. Sand Stream made Bellossom have to charge which gave Tyranitar time to use Protect. After Protect, Bellossom couldn’t take any more of Toxic Spikes and fainted.

Jumpluff was resummoned and Climmy switched to Meganium incase Leech Seed was used. Annoyingly, Sunny Day was used instead. Climmy suggested Protect incase Jumpluff knew a super effective move and, in an ironic twist, the blocked move was one Climmy wanted to hit, U-Turn. Letting Meganium take a super effective move made Climmy expect the worst, so he called for Synthesis as Jumpluff swooped in with another U-Turn. Climmy was not expecting Erika’s worst... (-14 HP, 196/210) Synthesis might be a bit overkill with the healing...

With Jumpluff’s retreat Victreebel entered the battlefield. Expecting Sludge Bomb, Climmy called for Protect. Interestingly, the blocked move was Grass Knot. Climmy asked for Grass Whistle, but it missed, letting Victreebel trip him with Grass Knot. (-33 HP, 177/210) Meganium’s next Grass Whistle put Victreebel to sleep and Climmy took the opportunity to switch back to Tyranitar. Climmy called for Protect hoping for Tyranitar to wake up and he did. Regardless of what happened Climmy was planning to switch back to Meganium after trying to ask for Protect once, so he switched to Meganium. The switch turned out to have perfect timing with Victreebel waking up for another Grass Knot (-30 HP, 147→134/210) Even thought the Sandstorm would make it less effective, Climmy suggested Synthesis. Meganium was happy to heal, (+52 HP, 186/210) but unhappy that he healed right before Sunny Day. Victreebel’s Chlorophyll let it trip Meganium again with Grass Knot (-32 HP, 154/210) before it was put back to sleep with Grass Whistle then Climmy switched to Tyranitar while Victreebel slept. Tyranitar used Rest incase he’d need to take a hit later and Climmy switched back to Meganium to wait for Victreebel to wake up. Meganium started the wait with Synthesis, but when he did Victreebel woke up and also used Synthesis. Grass Whistle put Victreebel to sleep again then Climmy switched to Ninetales... then he thought he was stupid for sending out a Pokemon that had been weakened that much while there was a Sandstorm... the Sandstorm raged on, but Ninetales refused to go down. (-12 HP, 2/194) Climmy asked for Rest and Ninetales gladly fell asleep. Both Pokemon slept until Erika used a Full Restore and afterward Ninetales woke up to cast Will-o-Wisp as Victreebel used Sunny Day to cancel the Sandstorm. Climmy wanted to try to use his entry hazards to save a ton of time so he asked for Roar while Victreebel blasted Ninetales with Leaf Storm. (-45 HP, 113/194)

Erika resummoned Jumpluff and after Stealth Rock it was barely standing. It used Giga Drain, (-9 HP, 104/194) but the cute amount of healing wouldn’t help. Jumpluff was effectively defeated when Ninetales used Roar. Victreebel was battered by the entry hazards again then hurt by its burn. It looked like between the entry hazards and the burn, Victreebel looked like one Roar would be enough to end the challenge if it didn’t use Synthesis. Victreebel was apparently unaware of how little time it had left and tripped Ninetales with Grass Knot (-12 HP, 92/194) letting Ninetales force a switch to Jumpluff and another switch after Stealth Rock took down Jumpluff. To Climmy’s surprise the burn wasn’t even needed to finish off Victreebel. The miscalculation didn’t bother Climmy though, he was just glad the challenge was over.

**156:04 Rainbow Badge**

Climmy thought he stated the obvious when he said, “I think I speak for both of us when I say lets never meet again.” but Erika shook her head. “No, that was fun.” Climmy hadn’t seen that coming, but after a moment he realized, “Yeah, it kind of was. Want to tell Fuchsia’s gym leader about it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ancient Power dealt 26, 26, 25, and 26 Damage to Forretress. I’d tell you how much Giga Drain dealt each time, but I stopped paying attention for obvious reasons. (AKA boredom) It was always around the amount Leftovers healed and usually, if not always, a little more.


	23. Vs Janine

Fuchsia’s latest gym leader, the ninja Janine, put up with Erika’s calls because even though they were mostly about nothing, they were kind of fun. This time Erika was about to tell her about latest challenger, but it seemed like the call would be cut short. Janine asked, “Can you call me back later? A challenger just came in.” The challenger didn’t mind. “I can wait. I’d rather let you to finish your call first anyway. Erika called, right? To tell you about an interesting challenger she had?” Janine put her phone on speaker. “I think the challenger you were going to tell me about is here.” Climmy grinned. “Yep, please stay on your call at least long enough to hear what’s so interesting about him.” Janine had a better idea. “No. Show me.”

**156:07** Vs Janine

The daughter of the Climmy’s student started with Crobat and the sensei of Janine’s father started another gym challenge with Meganium. Crobat started with Supersonic and Meganium fought through the confusion to use Leech Seed. While Climmy switched to Forretress, Crobat Screeched. When Forretress started laying down the four layers of hazards that would affect Poison Types Crobat started a barrage on Wing Attacks,* ending when Crobat tried Supersonic before the last layer, but failed to confuse Forretress who was back to full health thanks to the break in the assault. Climmy switched to Ninetales and Crobat used a Supersonic that finally. Janine used a Full Restore and Ninetales’s confusion prevented a move but effectively did nothing else after Leech Seed. (-15 HP, 179→194/194) Crobat Screeched as Ninetales snapped out of confusion and cast Will-o-Wisp then was hit with Wing Attack before Roaring. (-24 HP, 170/194)

Ariados was forced into battle and tried Swagger, but it failed, letting Ninetales use Roar again. Crobat was resummoned and it started with... Confuse Ray? If it knows Supersonic and Confuse Ray then Koga clearly hasn’t trained his daughter enough... Without Leech Seed the confusion now caused lasting damage, which was made worse the earlier Screech, and Crobat using the time Confuse Ray had bought for two Wing Attacks before Ninetales could Roar.* (Down to 62 HP)

Climmy realized how bad of a teacher Koga must be when Janine sent out a second Ariados. Climmy suggested Rest then Ariados showed how much the Screech from earlier was making things hurt with a disturbingly painful Poison Jab. (-64 HP, 130/194) Climmy switched to Tyranitar while Ariados was using Scary Face of all things then asked for Roar. Before Tyranitar could Roar, Aridos struck with Poison Jab and Poisoned him. (-11 HP, 212→185/223)

Venomoth was forced to enter and after its futile attempt to dodge Roar with Double Team, it was forced to leave as soon as it came.

Jasmine released Weezing and Climmy saw it as an opportunity to switch to Ninetales. A Sludge Bomb during the switch (-27 HP, 103→91/194) then two more while Ninetales slept almost knocked her out, but she endured and used Rest again. Weezing continued the Sludge Bomb onslaught while Ninetales slept then when she woke up she cast Will-o-Wisp, but missed. The Sludge Bomb after that miss poisoned her so she had to use Rest again. After waking up again she cast Will-o-Wisp again and managed to burn the opponent. Weezing was near its limit, so expecting a Full Restore, Climmy asked for Will-o-Wisp again. Weezing Exploded. Ninetales fainted. Climmy thought Overkill. (-40 HP, 0/194)

Climmy sent out who he thought could use the experience the most, which was currently Lugia, and Janine released Venomoth. Venomoth used Double Team which let it dodge Whirlwind then hurled a Sludge Bomb (-36 HP, 179→165/229) before being forced out again by the second Whirlwind.

An Ariados and Crobat were both resummoned only to fall instantly, but the other Ariados managed to endure the second wave of entry hazards. Climmy had been expecting each of Janine’s Pokemon to fall to the entry hazards, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen. Janine used a Full Restore before Lugia used Whirlwind again making her switch to Venomoth who was knocked out then back to Ariados.

Ariados was now Janine’s last Pokemon standing. Ninetales had been taken out by the Explosion, but Tyranitar’s endless Sandstorm was still blowing, so Climmy thought he could just ask for Trick a few times and wait for Ariados to faint. Climmy was shown it’d be a little harder than that when Ariados used Night Shade, (-47 HP, 104→90/229) making Lugia need Rest, and Janine used that time to use a Full Restore. Climmy had forgotten Meganium was at full health and able to use Leech Seed, but that didn’t matter because he was determined to stall out Ariados with just Lugia. The Sandstorm slowly chipped away both Pokemon and while Lugia slept, Ariados used Swagger then started attacking again with Night Shade. (-47 HP, 154→140/229) When Lugia woke up Climmy saw no need to try anything so he suggested Trick while Ariados unleashed another Night Shade. (-47 HP, 93→79/229) Now Climmy saw the need for Rest, but Lugia’s confusion finally kicked in at the worst possible time. (-17 HP, 62/229) Ariados’s final Night Shade made Climmy accept that the immortal legend wasn’t so immortal, but even though he had accepted it, Lugia hadn’t. (-47 HP, 15→ **1** /229) Lugia refused to be defeated. The legend then used the move that would be soul crushing to Janine and Ariados, Rest. Pressure had drained all of Night Shade’s power points and Ariados’s other attacks, Pin Missile and Poison Jab, weren’t even close to strong enough to give Ariados another chance at ending Lugia’s resistance.

**156:31 Soul Badge!**

 

Climmy had to tell Janine what he thought of her, “I don’t know what to say. You have much to learn, but you still managed to counter a little of my strategy and almost took down the Immortal Legend, Lugia. Your father must be so proud of you.” Jasmine was touched the praise and almost moved to tears by a whisper from behind her. “I am so proud of you.” Climmy was touched by the father daughter moment, but not enough to stop him from ruining the moment for fun. “Don’t mind him, he’s just my student... and my ride... His Crobat knows Fly! Hey Koga, do you think Crobat can carry three people?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP Changes for Forretress against Crobat were the following. Wing Attack was the only attack used.
> 
> (Sent in) 202/202  
> (-39 HP) 163→181→193  
> (-34 HP) 159→177→189  
> (-36 HP) 153→171→183  
> (Supersonic) 183→201→202/202
> 
> Health Changes for Ninetales against Crobat the second time were the following. Ow means Ninetales hurt itself in confusion and Wing Attack was the only attack used.
> 
> (Crobat summoned) - 170/194  
> (Ow, -25 HP) 142→117  
> (Ow, -24 HP) 86→62/194
> 
> HP Changes for Ninetales were the following. R means Ninetales used Rest, P means Sludge Bomb caused Poison, D-Hit is short for the move Double Hit, and unlabeled attacks were Sludge Bomb.
> 
> (Ninetales Enters) - 130/194  
> (-27 HP) 103→91  
> (-27 HP) 64→52  
> (-30 HP) 22→10  
> (R, D-Hit -20 HP) 194→184→174→162  
> (-25 HP) 137→125  
> (-27 HP) 98→86  
> (-30 HP, P) 56→44→20  
> (R, -28 HP) 194→166→154  
> (-25 HP) 129→117  
> (-25 HP) 92→80  
> (-28 HP) 52→40  
> (Explosion) 0/194
> 
> Health Changes for Lugia against Ariados were the following. Ow means Lugia hit itself in Confusion and R means Lugia used Rest. (I’m sorry for putting Yolo Swag before Swagger but I needed something to lengthen the name so it’d be easier to read the HP and I couldn't think of anything that wasn't cringey.)
> 
> (Ariados Enters) 165/229  
> (Swagger and Trick) 151  
> (Night Shade, -47 HP) 104→90  
> (Night Shade, -47 HP) 43→29  
> (R, Night Shade, -47 HP) 182→168  
> (Night Shade, -47 HP) 121→107  
> (Night Shade, -47 HP) 60→46  
> (R, Full Restore Used) 215 Honestly, this was hilarious.  
> (Yolo Swag, Swagger) 201  
> (Night Shade -47 HP) 154→140  
> (Night Shade -47 HP) 93→79  
> (Ow Night Shade -47 HP) 62 → 15→1  
> (R Pin Missile -12 HP) 225→221→217→213→199  
> (Pin Missile -12 HP) 195→191→187 → 173  
> (Pin Missile -26 HP) 169→165→Crit!155→151→147→133  
> (Poison Jab -22 HP) 111→97  
> (Yolo Swag, Swagger) 97  
> (R, Pin Missile -8 HP) 225→221 → 207  
> (Poison Jab -22 HP) 185→171  
> (Pin Missile -12 HP) 167→163→159 → 145  
> (Ow, Pin Miss-ile Miss) 119→105  
> (Ow, Poison Jab, -19 HP) 79→60→46  
> (R, Poison Jab, -21 HP) 208→194  
> (Yolo Swag, Swagger) 182/229  
> (KO)
> 
> In hindsight, I should have switched to Meganium against the second Ariados


	24. Vs Sabrina

Climmy cut the chase with Sabrina. “I don’t think there’s need for introductions when we both know who we are.”

**157:03** Vs Sabrina

The trainers both knew how this would end, but they still gave it their all. Climmy lead with Meganium and Sabrina with Espeon. Espeon used an impressive Psychic (-58 HP, 152→170/210) and Climmy started the way he almost always does, with Leech Seed. Climmy did what he almost always does afterward, switch to Forretress while Espeon attacked with Psychic again, but it was less impressive against Forretress. (-33 HP, 169→187→199/202) Forretress laid down every layer of entry hazards while Espeon continued their Psychic assault* and while Forretress laid down the final layer Sabrina used a Full Restore, which also let Forretress nearly regain full health. No wonder Sabrina predicted this battle. Anyone could have predicted it. Climmy switched to Tyranitar, who didn’t seem to notice the next Psychic, and asked for Roar while Espeon blasted Tyranitar with Shadow Ball. (-13 HP, 210/223)

Sabrina released Alakazam who disappointingly used Reflect before Tyranitar Roared again. Espeon was resummoned and its ability Synchronize inflicted the Toxic Spikes on Tyranitar. Shadow Ball was used again (-17 HP, 170→143/223) before Tyranitar Roared again bringing back Alakazam. Alakazam’s Energy Ball finally made things interesting, (-54 HP, 89/223) but Roar resummoning Espeon again, who fell to the entry hazards, then Sabrina resummoning Alakazam, who also couldn’t take another round of entry hazards, meant that the interesting moment ended as soon as it began. (Level Up! 93→65/227)

Sabrina’s final Pokemon showed little promise of challenge. Mr. Mime was better for entertainment than battles. Knowing that Full Restores would be used, Climmy switched to Meganium while Mr. Mime used Light Screen of all things. Mr. Mime then used the reasonable move Psychic (-48 HP, 109→96→110/210) while Meganium used Leech Seed. The Full Restore Climmy predicted was used while Climmy switched back to Tyranitar. Mr. Mime tried Mimic, but it failed because Mr. Mime was faster than the “slow as a rock” Tyranitar who decided now was a good time for a Rest. Climmy called for Protect which apparently did nothing because of Tyranitar’s sleep, but it somehow made Mimic fail instead of copying Rest. When Tyranitar woke up he used Toxic then Protect to wait out the last moments, but another Full Restore was used. Mr. Mime learned Protect with Mimic, but it would turn out to be too little too late when Tyranitar used Toxic again. Tyranitar Roared triumphantly while Mr. Mime used Light Screen again and showed off its last move, Skill Swap.

**157:16 Marsh Badge**

Climmy took the badge with disappointment at the gym leader and hoped that the version of Sabrina from his world hadn’t become this pathetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP Changes for Forretress against Espeon were the following. Psychic was the only attack used.
> 
> (Enters) 202/202  
> (-38 HP) 169→187→199  
> (-38 HP) 161→179→191  
> (-39 HP) 152→170→182  
> (-35 HP) 147→165→177  
> (-33 HP) 144→162→174  
> (-33 HP) 141→159→171  
> (Full Restore) 189→201/202


	25. Vs Blaine

Climmy asked his students, “So... do either of you have a Tentacruel that knows Surf?” Koga said his Tentacruel knew Hydro Pump and Janine shook her head. Climmy hadn’t expected things to be that easy, but it was worth a try anyway. He took his shirt off for Plan B and said, “This is why I always wear my swim shorts.”

 

A soaking wet challenger approached Blaine in his small cavern within the Seafoam Islands and said, “Good news, you’re about to face the one challenger that didn’t use Surf to get here.”

**157:21** Vs Blaine

The Fire Gym challenge began with both trainers sending out the type you’d expect in caves like this one. Blane’s Rock Type was Magcargo and Climmy had Tyranitar. It looked like Sand Stream wouldn’t be as effective as Climmy hoped and the starting move of Sunny Day made it feel way less effective, but Tyranitar was able to poison Magcargo with Toxic. Not seeing the point in anything else, Climmy asked for nonstop Protects. The first Protect blocked Overheat, but the second failed letting Magcargo land a Critical Hit... with Smog... (-8 HP, 219/227) Climmy asked Blaine for the badge while Tyranitar blocked Rock Slide and another Overheat with two Protects then asked Tyranitar for Toxic when Blane was going to use a Full Restore. Tyranitar went back to Protect after repoisoning Magcargo, but the first one was wasted when Magcargo used Sunny Day and the second one failed letting another Critical Hit land. Depressingly, it was Smog... again... (-8 HP, 211/227) To start Sand Stream again Climmy switched to Lunatone who didn’t take being blasted with Overheat that well (-63 HP, 109/172) then back to Tyranitar. Magcargo was at his limit when Sand Stream restarted the Sandstorm, but got the last laugh when he got lucky with Smog again. Instead of a Critical Hit, this time it poisoned Tyranitar. (-2 HP, 209→181/227)

Blaine summoned Magmar and irritated Climmy with Sunny Day. Climmy took some comfort in Toxic working, but became even more irritated when Magmar used Confuse Ray making Tyranitar hurt itself in confusion. (-14 HP, 139→111/227) Thunder Punch (-18 HP, 93/227) and more confusion damage (-13 HP, 80→52/227) just made things worse, but not as bad as the move used when Climmy thought Tyranitar could Rest, Overheat. Tyranitar’s armor was scorched black and with a thud, a cloud of ash and dust formed around the fainted Pokemon. Climmy wasn’t happy about the false hope and slap in the face with a resisted move being used for a knockout, but he was about to return the insult. To Blaine’s confusion, Climmy released Meganium. Climmy called for Protect to block the next Overheat then Blaine had to use a Full Restore to prevent Magmar from fainting which Meganium took this as his chance to use Leech Seed. Another Overheat was blocked by Protect then Climmy switched to Ninetales to absorb the next one. Climmy asked for a Confuse Ray which made Magmar hurt itself before switching to the Pokemon he really wanted out, Lunatone. In a bit of karma, Magmar managed to use Confuse Ray as Lunatone entered the battlefield. Magmar’s confusion kicked in one last time before he went down, but Lunatone’s confusion didn’t stop  it from using Cosmic Power.

Blaine sent out his last Pokemon, Rapidash, who started by springing almost to the top of the cave and Lunatone hurt itself in confusion at the one time it couldn’t do anything. (-8 HP, 133→125) Rapidash landed his Bounce on Lunatone (-21 HP, 112/172) and the confusion added on more damage. Lunatone tried for an obscure move as Rapidash started another Bounce, but the confusion kicked in again. The Bounce landed on target, (-13 HP, 83/172) but Blaine’s fun was about to end. Lunatone snapped out of confusion and used Toxic. Rapidash sprung up again, but Climmy said one word that few would see coming. Rapidash slammed into the cave floor, Lunatone laid on its side unable to move, and Climmy laughed. “The move tutor thought I was mad when I said to teach Gravity to Lunatone! He was right of course, but who’s laughing now!” Rapidash used Quick Attack (-7 HP, 76/172) while Lunatone started using Cosmic Power then Flare Blitz and Overheat (-21 & -21 HP, 55/172 → 34/172) before Lunatone had to Rest. Climmy wasn’t too happy about when it was need because right after Lunatone used Rest, Blaine used a Full Restore. The effects of Gravity wore off letting Rapidash start another Bounce and when he landed Lunatone countered with Toxic. Rapidash tried Bouncing again, but Gravity stopped it again. From there Lunatone started using Cosmic Power again and Rapidash could do next to no damage before going down.

**157:36**? **Volcano Badge** (Sorry, forgot to check the time until I was in the Pokemon Center.)

Challenging Blaine had taught Climmy something. “Last time we met you taught me how to tap dance. This time you showed me something that keeps things interesting.” Blaine asked, “Oh, and what’s that?” Climmy triumphantly declared, “May the odds be never in my favor!” Blaine’s silence made Climmy worried about his reference. “Wait, does The Hunger Games exist in this world?” Blaine wasn’t entirely sure “I don’t think so, but that sound like a quote from The Tribute of District Twelve.”


	26. Vs Blue

Blue couldn’t wait for his next battle and as he approached his podium he knew he wouldn’t have to. “You’re in my spot.” Climmy hopped off. “To be fair, this was my spot for about a week in an alternate timeline. It didn’t work too well. Everyone got past the gym trainers easily because gym trainers have to stick to the gym leader’s strategy then everyone lost to me because I know how to use status moves supper effectively. It didn’t help that this sym is next in the town next to the one everyone seems to start their journey... Wish I thought of the seven badge restriction. Anyway, we’re not here for my ranting. I prefer saving that for Team Rocket. It’s good for messing with their heads. Let’s get this challenge started before I get distracted by my thoughts again.” Blue blinked. “Are you saying I was champion for more than a half hour?”

**158:05** Vs Blue (AKA: Dude from Kanto)

Blue confidently sent out Exeggutor, but Climmy appeared confused when he sent out his own Pokemon. “Oh, wrong Pokeball... meh, not complaining. Lugia, Toxic please.” Lugia used the requested move while Exeggutor started with Trick Room. Climmy switched to Forretress while Exeggutor tried a Hypnosis that failed then Forretress laid down one layer of Toxic Spikes before Exeggutor put him to sleep. While Forretress slept Exeggutor used Trick Room again to cancel its effects early and blasted Forretress with Psychic (-38 HP, 164→176/202) then Blue used a Full Restore. Another Psychic hit Forretress before he woke up (-38 HP, 150→162/202) and the second layer of Toxic Spikes was soon laid down. Climmy knew Hypnosis was coming and he wasn’t sure if it had an amount of Power Points that was easily drained, so he decided to be annoying by requesting Protect. After the Full Restore there was no drain on Exeggutor’s health, but Climmy needed lots of time for Forretress set up the remaining entry hazards. The solution was switching to Tyranitar for his Sand Stream. Instead of trying Hypnosis again during the switch Exeggutor attacked with Psychic, but it had no effect. Climmy asked for Protect just to see what Exeggutor would do and unsurprisingly it tired Hypnosis. Expecting the worst, Climmy switched back to Forretress, but instead of facing the worst, Forretress faced Leaf Storm. (-30 HP, 144→156/202) With the Special Attack Drop Forretress would have a much easier time setting up the remaining entry hazards.

Climmy asked for Stealth Rock and even with lowered Special Attack, Psychic was still dealing notable damage (-19 HP, 137→149/202) Forretress used Protect to heal with its Leftovers and blocked Psychic,* but when the barrier fell Hypnosis put him to sleep. One Psychic. Climmy waited for Forretress to wake up. Two Psychics. Hopefully it would be soon. Three Psychics. Oh crap, that one lowered Forretress’s Special Defense. Four Psychics. (-29 HP, 117→129/202) Forretress woke up and laid down a layer of Spikes. Exeggutor wanted Forretress back asleep badly, but Protect blocked Hypnosis. The follow up attempt failed which let Forretress laying down another layer of Spikes and another Protect blocked another Hypnosis, but the fourth in a row put Forretress back to sleep. Exeggutor resumed the onslaught with Psychic, (177→147→159/202) but the move only had one power point left which meant it had to switch to Leaf Storm. (-25 HP, 134→146/202) The second was almost healed by Leftovers and with almost perfect timing for Blue, the Sandstorm finally finished Exeggutor’s fight. Climmy wished it had taken just a little longer because only two layers of Spikes had been laid.

Blue released Arcanine and Climmy responded by switching to his own Fire Type. Flare Blitz was absorbed by Ninetales’s Flash Fire and Climmy saw no reason to keep facing Arcanine, so he suggested Roar. Like always, the opponent got in an attack, this time Extreme Speed, (-49 HP, 137→125/198) before Ninetales could Roar.

Machamp was summoned to the confusion of Climmy. “I thought you’d have an Alakazam... or a Heracross.” Blue shrugged. “Can’t a guy train more than six Pokemon?” Climmy admitted Blue had a point before focusing back on the challenge. He suspected the ability No Guard and thought about what moves Blue would use to take advantage of that then switched to Meganium when he thought of Stone Edge. Amazingly, Climmy had predicted Machamp’s attack. Neutral effectiveness, but still powerful. (-42 HP, 168→155/210) If Machamp’s ability was No Guard then Dynamic Punch would probably be next. Meganium used Leech Seed and Machamp hit hard with the predicted punch. (-70 HP, 85→72→94/210) Now Climmy was predicting a Full Restore, so he asked for Synthesis. Meganium fought through its confusion to heal with Synthesis, but Climmy had predicted wrong and the healing was canceled out by another Dynamic Punch. Machamp was powerful, but he wasn’t too good at enduring Poison, a Sandstorm, and Leech Seed at the same time and reached his limit with that last punch.

Arcanine was resummoned to use Flare Blitz and Ninetales was resummoned to absorb it. The entry hazards had worn down Arcanine a ton, so he couldn’t endure the Sandstrom and Poison for more than one attack and went down quickly as he came.

Rhydon was released and was obviously going to use an attack that’s super effective against Ninetales, but there was no knowing if it would be Rock or Ground. Climmy did know the incoming attack was Physical, so he switched to Forretress while Rhydon launched Stone Edge. (-67 HP, 77→89/202) The next Stone Edge was blocked by Protect then another landed when Forretress laid down the final layer of Spikes (-58 HP, 43→55/202) and when Protect was used again Earthquake was the move blocked. Blue used a Full Restore while Climmy switched to Lunatone. Rhydon wasn’t losing any health anymore, but if Rhydon couldn’t hurt Lunatone then Climmy had plenty of time. His plan was Cosmic Power, but after seeing what Megahorn did to Lunatone, (-142 HP, 30/172) Climmy changed plans to Lugia, only for that plan to be changed by Stone Edge during the switch. (-98 HP, 135→121/233) Apparently it was Blue’s turn for perfect predictions because when Climmy switched to Tyranitar Rhydon jabbed with another Megahorn. (-86 HP, 141/227) Stalling felt ineffective when Rhydon wasn’t being worn down, but it wasn’t useless. Climmy called for a Protect to waste Rhydon’s power points and Tyranitar blocked an Earthquake. Climmy then switched to Lugia who didn’t care about the next Earthquake. Climmy asked for Rest, not wanting to risk a Critical Hit Stone Edge, but Rhydon used Megahorn instead. (-32 HP, 191→177/223) Climmy counted in his head the number of times Stone Edge had been used, only four out of five, but after a moment he remembered Lugia’s ability was Pressure, which had drained the last power point. Climmy thought Lugia would endure easily what Rhydon could throw at it and Megahorn missing reinforced that belief. Rhydon tried something more accurate with a Thunder Fang that was only slightly more powerful despite the type advantage then jabbed with another Megahorn right before Lugia woke up. Climmy could have asked for Toxic, but he didn’t feel threatened enough anymore to care if Rhydon fainted now or later, so he asked for Whirlwind. Rhydon was forced back to its Pokeball and it would be repoisoned when Toxic Spikes sunk in again.

Gyrados was forced out and Climmy didn’t see any potential problems coming, so he thought it would be a good time for Lugia to Rest, but Gyrados showed Climmy a problem he didn’t see coming with Dragon Dance. While Gyrados danced again Climmy speculated about what attack was coming. Odds were that Gyrados had a super effective move, but if Dragon Dance had to be used at least twice then it couldn’t be that strong of a move. If he was right about the move Gyrados had then there was a chance that Lugia could endure. Climmy hoped that Gyrados would use Dragon Dance one more time, but instead it struck with a vicious Ice Fang. (-72 HP, 133→119/233) Climmy called for Whirlwind hoping that the second Ice Fang wouldn’t cause a Flinch or be Critical, but the attack never came. Instead, Gyrados used Dragon Dance again, letting Lugia wake up to remove Gyrados and its stat boosts with Whirlwind.

Pidgeot soared into battle and Lugia Rested knowing Pidgeot couldn’t do much to it. Turns out, Pidgeot knew that too and used Whirlwind, forcing Climmy to switch to Meganium. Climmy switched back to Lugia to take the Pidgeot’s obvious Flying Type Attack. Lugia tanked the Air Slash easily (-30 HP, 203→189/233) and Pidgeot followed up with the slightly more powerful Return while Climmy waited for Lugia to wake up.* Climmy was ready to call for Whirlwind, but Pidgeot’s second Return landing a Critical Hit (Crit! -82 HP, 50→36/223) changed his plan to Rest again. Pidgeot unleashed another Air Slash as Lugia fell asleep and another Return while it slept then Lugia just needed to endure one more move before it could use Whirlwind. Pidgeot used Whirlwind. Lugia was forced to retreat, but Climmy didn’t mind when it was about to wake up. Ninetales was forced out this time and Climmy could do what he was already planning with Roar. Pidgeot brought Ninetales near her limit with Return (-52 HP 49→37/198) before she Roared.

Gyrados returned to battle making Climmy immediately regret Roar. He didn’t know what Blue would do. If Blue used a Full Restore then Will-o-Wisp would weaken Gyrados’s Attack and make enduring much easier, but if Gyrados attacked then Ninetales would pay the price. If Climmy switched to save Ninetales from a possible attack, it would delay or possibly eliminate the risk to Ninetales, but it would backfire if Blue used a Full Restore. After weighing the risk vs the reward, Climmy asked Ninetales to cast Will-o-Wisp. Gyrados went for the knockout with Return to Climmy’s dismay, but he felt a little relief as the Sandstorm and Burn took down Gyrados too.

The trainers sent out Lugia and Rhydon. Lugia Rested and Rhydon landed a Critical Hit with Thunder Fang. (-88 HP, 145→131/233) While Lugia slept Rhydon missed with Megahorn again but struck its target with Thunder Fang. (-48 HP, 69→55/233) Lugia woke up, but Climmy told it to Rest again to avoid getting knocked out by Rhydon’s incoming Thunder Fang. Rhydon was at the point where he was ether going to be healed or faint after one last attack. Regardless of what Blue chose, Climmy believed switching was his best choice. Climmy switched to Meganium and Blue used another Full Restore. To double check if Rhydon was out of power points for Megahorn, Meganium used Protect which blocked an Earthquake. Even though Climmy believed Rhydon’s rampage was effectively over, Meganium was low on health and it was be better safe than sorry. Climmy asked for Synthesis and it easily outhealed the damage from Rhydon’s Thunder Fang. (+52 -14 HP, 95→81→68/210) Meganium’s Leech Seed soon sealed Rhydon’s fate, but there was still plenty of time recovering with Synthesis and Protect before that would happen.*

When Rhydon fell Pidgeot returned for the end of the challenge. Two rounds of Stealth Rock and prolonged exposure to the Sandstorm had drained a lot of energy, but not all of it. Meganium used Protect blocking a Whirlwind then Leech Seed when Blue used a Full Restore. Another Protect blocked another Whirlwind then Meganium used Grass Whistle. Pidgeot fell asleep and the challenge was effectively over. Climmy switched to Lunatone to get it some experience then asked for Rest. Neither Pokemon woke up until after Climmy had won the Earth Badge.

**158:41 Earth Badge**

Climmy smiled at the nostalgic feeling of the challenge. “Despite the differences of alternate timelines, it still felt like old times.” Blue laughed, “I guess it did, even though you’re nothing like Red.” Climmy frowned. “It’s so weird that you’re an old friend to me, but I’m a complete stranger to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP changes for Forretress after being switched in the second time were the following. -SpD means Special Defense was lowered and moves that missed or were blocked are crossed out.
> 
> (Switched in) 174/202  
> (Leaf Storm) 144→156  
> (Psychic -19 HP) 137→149  
> ( ~~Psychic~~ Protect) 161  
> (Hypnosis Zzz) 173  
> (Psychic -21 HP) 152→164  
> (Psychic -22 HP) 142→154  
> (Psychic -20 HP -SpD) 134→146  
> (Psychic -29 HP) 117→129  
> ( ~~Hypnosis~~ Protect) 141  
> ( ~~Hypnosis~~ Miss) 153  
> ( ~~Hypnosis~~ Protect) 175  
> (Psychic -28 HP) 147→159  
> (Leaf Storm -25 HP) 134→146  
> (Leaf Storm -14 HP) 132→144/202
> 
> HP Changes for Lugia against Pidgeot were the following. Crit is short for Critical Hit and R is short for Rest.
> 
> (Lugia enters) 233/233  
> (Air Slash, -30 HP) 203→189  
> (Return, -43 HP) 146→132  
> (Return Crit, -82 HP) 50→36  
> (R Air Slash, -34 HP) 233→199→185  
> (Return, -39 HP) 146→132/233
> 
>  
> 
> HP changes for Meganium against Rhydon’s second time out were the following. S means Meganium used Synthesis and blocked attacks are crossed out.
> 
> (Switched in) 56/210  
> ( ~~Earthquake~~ Protect) 43  
> (S, Thunder Fang -14 HP) 95→81→68  
> (Earthquake -33 HP) 35→22→47  
> ( ~~Thunder Fang~~ Protect) 34→59  
> (S, Earthquake -35 HP) 111→76→63→88  
> ( ~~Earthquake~~ Protect) 75→100  
> (S, Thunder Fang) 152→137→124→149  
> ( ~~Thunder Fang~~ Protect) 136→161  
> (Earthquake -42 HP) 129→116→141  
> ( ~~Earthquake~~ Protect) 128→153  
> (Grass Whistle Sleep) 140→165/210  
> (KO)


	27. Will's Rematch

Climmy acted surprised at the sign saying the Pokemon League was sold out of tickets for tomorrow. “Whaaa! Sold out for my challenge already? But I just earned my first Kanto Badge! Then again, I also just earned my eighth...”

Climmy knew Lance was making the rematches into a show when the sofa he was laying on started to float out into the stadium. He posed with his head propped up by one arm while waving with the other. Will pulled his two fingers away from his forehead with a flourish and the sofa fell right in the middle of the challenger’s spot. Climmy critiqued, “Nice, but can my Pokemon have sofas bring them too?” Will remarked, “Trying to stall even before the battle begins? No, we shall duel right here, right now.”

 **158:47** Vs Will

Meganium, needless to say, was chosen for Climmy’s lead and Will started with Bronzong. Maximum defense, zero offence, the exact wrong choice for facing the famed pacifist on the warpath. Bronzong bolstered its Defense with Reflect only to have its defenses bypassed by Leech Seed then had every attack nullified instantly after Climmy switched to Forretress to start setting up entry hazards. Before the final layer was laid Will wasted a Full Restore on Bronzong. Wanting to speed things up, Climmy switched to Ninetales which allowed Bronzong’s Psychic finally did lasting damage. (-41 HP, 147→167/198) The attack lowered Ninetales’s Special Defense, so Climmy asked for Confuse Ray before anything else. Bronzong’s confusion didn’t kick in immediately, but Bronzong for some reason, used Gravity instead of using its now effective attacks. Ninetales then cast a Will-o-Wisp that was guarantee to land thanks to the reduced evasion caused by Gravity and Bronzong proved to be just as threatening as it had been by hurting itself in confusion. By now Leech Seed had fully healed Ninetales and her job was done, so Climmy switched to Tyranitar for Sand Stream as Bronzong used a Psychic that was even less effective than the ones used against Forretress. Now that Tyranitar’s job was done, Climmy switched back to Forretress who’s recovery was overkill for healing Bronzong’s Payback. (-8 HP, 194→202/202) With Bronzong on the verge of collapsing Leech Seed wouldn’t recover as much, so Forretress used a move that felt like insult to injury, Protect. Bronzong’s final Psychic was blocked, highlighting the futility of its assault before fainting.

(Forretress was hit by Payback when switching in both times. The damage was 16 before Will-o-Wisp and 8 after. Bronzong’s Psychic dealt 29, 27, 30, and 29 damage to Forretress who healed 20 HP from Leech Seed and 12 from Leftovers. Bronzong was somehow more passive than all of my Pokemon.)

Gardevoir was summoned to battle. Expecting Forretress to take anything Gardevoir could give Climmy suggested Stealth Rock even though it would fail. Gardevoir hit hard with a Focus Blast that lowered Forretress’s Special Defense (-74 HP, 128→140/202) The next Focus Blast was blocked by Protect then Climmy thought about if it would be better to risk Protect again or switch out. Climmy went with Protect and it worked. Expecting a Full Restore, Climmy switched to Lugia, but instead another Focus Blast was launched (-14 HP, 219→205/233) and Gardevoir went down.

Will summoned Jynx and Climmy switched to Forretress for the type advantage. During the switch Jynx unleashed a Blizzard (-54 HP, 110→122/202) and froze Forretress. Climmy didn’t care enough about the freezing to become mildly annoyed and waited for the thaw. Jynx unleashed another Blizzard but missed then used Fake Tears before falling to the rapidly withering effects of Toxic Spikes and the Sandstorm.

When Will sent out Grumpig Climmy started caring enough to switch Pokemon because of Fake Tears. Climmy couldn’t remember what Grumpig could learn other than it was a wide variety of moves, but Will sending out Grumpig against Forretress made Climmy think Fire, so he switched to Lunatone. Climmy was wrong, but still unsurprised to see Grumpig firing off Power Gem. (-27 HP, 145/172) He then thought it was safe for Lunatone to use Cosmic Power, but was proven wrong again when Grumpig’s Signal Beam dealt a disturbing amount of damage. (-58 HP, 87/172) Grumpig outspeed Lunatone but Lunatone could probably use Cosmic Power again before Rest without getting knocked out. Climmy wasn’t risking it and asked for Rest now. Signal Beam hit, but not unbearably hard, (-40 HP, 47/172) and Lunatone Rested it off. Grumpig’s fight was ending, but he fired one more Signal Beam before fainting.

Xatu soared into battle and used Confuse Ray then launched a Shadow Ball before Lunatone woke up. (-48 HP, 84/172) Lunatone tried using Cosmic Power but confusion prevented it. Another Shadow Ball blasted Lunatone and it had to use Rest.* Climmy watched Xatu’s Shadow Ball barrage batter Lunatone and when it woke up it needed to use Rest again to be able endure another attack, but its confusion kicked in. Climmy to switch to Tyranitar and Shadow Ball hurt about as much as a shadow. (-14 HP, 213/227) It lowered Tyranitar’s special defense, but that wouldn’t do much. Xatu’s Confuse Ray bought a little time, which is the last thing you want to do against Climmy, and Tyranitar’s confusion was about as effective as Shadow Ball. (-13 HP, 200/227) Tyranitar ignored another Shadow Ball  and used Toxic then the next Shadow Ball lowered Tyranitar’s Special Defense again. Tyranitar Roared, forcing Xatu back to its Pokeball. If another switch could be forced then Toxic and the Sandstorm would knockout Xatu before Will could heal, but if another switch couldn’t then Climmy didn’t care that much after seeing how well Tyranitar endured.

Will’s final Pokemon was Slowbro, just like last time. After two Special Defense Drops Climmy wasn’t letting Tyranitar stay in to take a Water Type Attack, so he switched to Meganium only to find out Slowbro was using Curse, just like last time. Climmy asked for Leech Seed and waited to see if Will would use a Full Restore or see Slowbro faint. Will, to Climmy’s disappointment, told Slowbro to use Curse.

Xatu was returned to battle and knowing it was Full Restore or lose for Will, Climmy asked for another Leech Seed while Will healed Xatu. Climmy then switched to Tyranitar to take the Psychic aimed for Meganium and use Toxic while taking pitiful damage from Shadow Ball. (-14 HP, 164→185/227) Protect blocked the next one and Climmy suggested Toxic again in case another Full Restore was used, but Will had accepted his loss and Xatu launched one last Shadow Ball before Toxic finished the challenge.

 **159:08** One Down

Climmy had to admire Will. “You’ve improved a lot. It’s almost a shame that I spent weeks getting Toxic TMs.” Will started to accept the complement, “Thank you and... wait, weeks? Why did it take weeks?” Climmy grinned. “If you have a minute or six, then I could show you why with my Vs Recorder.” Six minutes later Will asked if he should just tell the rest of the Elite Four to surrender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Health Changes against Xatu were the following. Ow means the Pokemon hurt itself in confusion, R is short for Rest, C-Ray is short for Confuse Ray and Shadow Ball was the only attack used.
> 
> Lunatone
> 
> (Xatu Enters) 132/172  
> (C-Ray) 132  
> (-48 HP, Ow) 84→76  
> (-48 HP, R) 28→172  
> (-44 HP) 128  
> (-48 HP) 80  
> (-44 HP, Ow) 36→28/172
> 
> Tyranitar
> 
> (Tyranitar) 227/227  
> (-14 HP) 213 -SpD  
> (C-Ray, Ow) 200/227  
> (-22 HP) 178/227  
> (-21 HP) 157/227 -SpD


	28. Koga's Rematch

After healing his Pokemon, Climmy returned to an empty battlefield. He pointed to the opponent’s spot and a smoke bomb burst there. What he hadn’t seen coming was a smoke bomb bursting behind him and the waiting room sofa being there when the smoke dissipated. Climmy wondered, “How’d you make the sofa appear?” Koga laughed, explaining nothing and Climmy admired his student. “You’ve had an entire day to study me and you’ve clearly learned from my madness, but now, show me, are you still the student or have you become the master?”

**159:09** Vs Koga

Climmy was sure Meganium could take one Poison Type attack, so he lead with him against Koga’s Skuntank. Climmy’s jaw dropped when he knew Meganium’s Leech Seed was going to miss Skuntank because it has started digging and felt like it would be too easy when Skuntank’s Dig was healed instantly by the second Leech Seed.* Climmy considered switching to Forretress then, but decided to be better safe than sorry and asked for Grass Whistle. It failed and Skuntank began digging again. Between the protection Dig gave and Grass Whistle’s reliability, it took until right before Lance used a Full Restore for Skuntank to fall asleep. Fortunately, the first Grass Whistle after the Full Restore also put Skuntank to sleep and Climmy used the sleep as free time to switch to Forretress. Stealth Rock and a layer of Spikes were laid down before Skuntank woke up and started to Dig again. Dig hit just softly enough to be instantly healed by Leech Seed and Forretress laid down a second layer of Spikes. By now Climmy was in the mood for toying with his opponent so he asked for Toxic Spikes while Skuntank Dug again then Protect to block the pointless move. Climmy saw plenty of time for the third layer of Spikes before Skuntank fainted, so he asked for a second layer of Toxic Spikes. Skuntank Exploded. (-85 HP, 120→132/205)

Koga summoned Toxicroak and Climmy asked for Protect to see what was coming. A blocked Swagger didn’t give any useful information, but Climmy felt safe guessing a Fighting type attack was incoming and switched to Lugia. Climmy felt a bit smug as Toxicroak Cross Chop, but Gunk Shot wiped the smirk off his face when it dealt impressive damage and poisoned Lugia. (-66 HP, 154→125) Lugia used Whirlwind and Climmy was glad to see Toxicroak go, even it was just for now.

Swalot was forced into battle and Climmy was about to ask Lugia to Rest, but something caught his eye. “Swalot has Leftovers! Lugia, Trick!” Lugia used the called for move, but nothing happened. “Huh? Why didn’t... Swalot’s ability is Sticky Hold... Why!” Climmy irritatedly watched Swallot launch a Sludge Bomb, expecting the worst, but Lugia endured. (-40 HP, 85→56/233) Swalot used Amnesia as though gloating that it didn’t need to do anything to win, which would have been true of Lugia hadn’t been using Rest. Climmy switched to Tyranitar so his ability Sand Stream could cancel out the healing of Leftovers and Swalot launched a Sludge Bomb that was weak but annoyingly effective thanks to poisoning Tyranitar. (-17 HP, 210→182/227) Another Sludge Bomb blasted Tyranitar (-18 HP, 164→136/227) who couldn’t do anything back, but he didn’t need to. Tyranitar Roared knowing the entry hazards could do the job for him.

Venomoth entered the battlefield next. Usually Climmy wouldn’t take that Pokemon seriously, especially when there were a few layers of Spikes and Stealth Rock, but with Tyranitar’s weakness to Bug and damage from poison he had to switch. Climmy summoned Lugia and was disappointed with Venomoth’s choice of move, Silver Wind. (-30 HP, 203→189/233) The next attack made Climmy glad Lugia was still asleep so it wouldn’t see something even more embarrassing, Venomoth using Psychic against a Psychic Type. Amazingly, it dealt as much as Silver Wind, but only because of dealing a Critical Hit. (Crit! -35 HP, 153→139/233) Lugia took one more Silver Wind before waking up then Venomoth used a Double Team failing to avoid Lugia’s Whirlwind.

Swalot returned to battle and Yawned before Lugia’s Whirlwind to forced another switch, this time making Muk come out. Lugia needed healing and was going to fall asleep anyway so it used Rest. While Lugia fell asleep Muk used Minimize, making Climmy’s heart sink a little. Muk had Black Sludge which let it nullify the sandstorm’s damage and Climmy felt safe guessing its ability was Stick Hold, so time was against him for once. Climmy switched to Ninetales and the odds became worse as Muk confused her with Swagger. Climmy asked for Will-o-Wisp and despite her confusion, Ninetales managed to use it, but it missed and things went from bad to worse with Muk’s Toxic. Ninetales cast Will-o-Wisp again, but it missed again, letting Muk use Minimize without trouble. Toxic’s poison combined with Tyranitar’s sandstorm was starting to add up and Ninetales was still confused, but Climmy still asked for Will-o-Wisp again. Ninetales snapped out of confusion and finally burned Muk who was using a now useless Minimize. Climmy thanked Ninetales and asked for her to take a well deserved Rest. Muk used Swagger, but Climmy was planning on switching anyway.  He switched back to Lugia and was amazed at Muk’s last move. “Screech? Muk doesn’t know any attacks?” Climmy bowed to his student. “I’ve taught you well. It’s almost a shame that I can beat Muk by doing nothing.” True to his word Climmy did nothing while Lugia slept and Muk could do nothing in return. When Lugia was about to wake up to do something Climmy switched back to Ninetales while Muk used Screech and fell to its burn.

Koga sent out Toxicroak and Climmy was not letting Ninetales take an attack form it after Screech. He switched to Lugia who would have taken the incoming Cross Chop easily even if it hadn’t missed. Toxicroak used Swagger next, but it didn’t stop Lugia from using Whirlwind.

Venomoth was resummoned then quickly unsummoned after Stealth Rock knocked it out. Swalot was resummoned next and although the Spikes and Stealth Rock had brought him near his limit, he had just enough endurance to withstand the Sandstorm and heal it off with Leftovers. Anything extra would finish the resistance. Swalot Yawned and Lugia tried Whirlwind, but it failed. Climmy wasn’t willing to let Lugia fall asleep now, so he switched to Meganium who was also Yawned at. Not wanting Meganium to fall asleep either, Climmy switched to Ninetales and during the switch Swalot decided to sink his hopes with Pain Split. (-91 HP, 95→83/198)

Climmy waited for Ninetales to wake up while Swallot hurled a Sludge Bomb (-48 HP, 35→23/198) then when he thought she would wake up called for Rest, but Ninetales didn’t wake up. He realized he had miscounted the amount to time Ninetales had been sleeping and knew Swallot’s next Sludge Bomb was going to suck. With a heavy heart Climmy watched the finishing blow land and returned his fainted Ninetales to her Pokeball. Without Ninetales Will-o-Wisp wasn’t an option anymore, the Sandstorm was being canceled out by Leftovers, and Swallot as a Poison Type couldn’t be poisoned which left Climmy with one option. “Go, Meganium!” Climmy called for Leech Seed and expected Swallot to use Sludge Bomb again, but Pain Split was used instead. (-53 HP, 147→134→160/213) Meganium lulled Swallot to sleep with Grass Whistle then recovered with Synthesis. Climmy asked for Protect incase Swallot woke up, but it didn’t. Swallot slept through Climmy’s switch to Tyranitar then finally woke up to use Sludge Bomb, but Tyranitar didn’t care after using Protect. With that final attack used Swallot’s last bit of energy was drained by Leech Seed finally stopping what had felt like an immortal foe.

Somehow Toxicroak endured the entry hazards again and Climmy switched to Lugia to take the obvious Cross Chop (-14 HP, 125→111/137) before Toxicroak’s quick fall to the Sandstorm.

Koga began his last stand with Crobat, which Lugia couldn’t do anything to. Climmy switched to Meganium in hopes of getting off a Leech Seed and the amount of damage Crobat’s Cross Poison dealt proved that it wasn’t that bad of an idea, but a Critical Hit meant Meganium needed to retreat. (Crit! -180 HP, 33→20/213) Climmy asked for Protect while he thought about who to switch to. Ninetales was down so he had to wait for just the Sandstorm to wear down Crobat, but who was the best choice? When Meganium’s Protect ended Climmy called out, “Meganium, return! It’s sparkle sparkle time!” Lunatone entered the battlefield and took Cross Poison easily. (-30 HP. 142/172) Enduring would be easy even without defense boosts from Cosmic Power, but Climmy asked for it anyway. Crobat switched to using the equally effective Fly* while Lunatone used Cosmic Power some more and after the sixth Cosmic Power Crobat was near his limit. Koga failed to realize that he’d already lost and used a Full Restore, reminding Climmy of when Deadpool tried to fight Colossus. He had to quote what Colossus said during the equally one sided battle. “This is embarrassing. Please, stay down.” Lunatone didn’t seem to notice it was under attack and just waited for something to happen. First it used Toxic a few times, then took a nap, and eventually decided to make Crobat stay down with Gravity. In response to having Fly interrupted, Crobat used Mean Look... then fainted to the Sandstorm...

**159:43** Koga defeated.

Koga bowed and admitted defeat. “I still have much to learn.” Climmy agreed, “Yes you do, but then again, we all do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leftovers is the only reason I taught Lugia Trick. If I saw Sticky Hold coming I would have grinded for 32 more BP to teach Worry Seed to Meganium.
> 
> Stuntank's Dig dealt 14, 32, 34, and 16 to Meganium. The middle two were critical hits that weren’t instantly healed because Leech Seed was only draining 26 HP, but Dig taking two turns let Meganium fully recover before the next hit. Coincidentally, Did dealt exactly 26 Damage to Forretress.
> 
> Crobat's Fly dealt 29 damage after 1 Cosmic Power, 16 after 3, and 13 after 5. After 6 Cosmic Powers, the amounts of damage Fly dealt were 12, 11, 12, 11, 12, 11, 12, and 0. The last one did nothing because of being canceled by of Gravity


	29. Bruno's Rematch

Climmy’s next opponent carried his sofa to his spot, just like in his timeline. Bruno was impressive, but Climmy had faced three times and beaten easily three times. Maybe he should arm wrestle Bruno just to let him taste victory... On second thought, he liked not having an arm in a cast.

 **159:45** Vs Bruno

The lead Pokemon were the same as last time, Meganium and Hitmontop. Meganium started with Leech Seed again, but Hitmontop used a different move from last time, Close Combat. (-69 HP, 144→163/213) Climmy did not want Hitmontop awake after that so he asked for a Grass Whistle and it successfully put Hitmontop to sleep. Climmy asked for Protect to let Leech Seed heal Meganium a little more before switching to Forretress and requesting the entry hazards. When Forretress laid down the first layer of Toxic Spikes Hitmontop woke up, but only mad Climmy roll his eyes at an ineffective Counter. Another Counter let Forretress lay down the second layer, but when he set up Stealth Rock Hitmontop used the much more effective Close Combat. (-66 HP, 139→158→170/205) Bruno used a Full Restore which let Forretress nearly recover to full health while laying down the first layer of Spikes. Another Close Combat came when Forretress laid down the second layer (-64 HP, 137→156→168/205) and Forretress used Protect to heal off the damage before getting hit again (-66 HP, 133→152→164/205) and laying down the final layer. Forretress used Protect again afterward, this time blocking Earthquake, which Hitmontop’s best move now that Close Combat’s five power points had been used up. Forretress used entry hazard moves even though all the layers were down because he had nothing better to do, but still somehow managed to use his time better than Hitmontop, who used Counter, Quick Attack, (-9 HP, 194→205/205) then Counter again before going down.

Hitmonlee was summoned and Climmy had a pretty good idea of what move it was going to use, but asked for Protect just in case he was wrong. The one Pokemon famed for kicking used Blaze Kick for what probably would have been a knockout if it wasn’t blocked. Confident that another Blaze Kick was coming, Climmy switched to Tyranitar and to his surprise, Hitmonlee used Swagger instead of the obvious choice. Climmy saw no chance of Hitmonlee not going for an easy knock out with a Fighting Type Move, so he switched to Lugia to take the attack that turned out to be Close Combat. (-17 HP, 220→206/237) Climmy suggested Toxic incase Bruno used a Full Restore, but instead Hitmonlee went for one last blaze of glory before going down with Blaze Kick. Bruno face palmed as the kick missed the eighteen foot tall legend of the sea.

Bruno released Hariyama, but Climmy didn’t think it would be a problem. Hariyama was going to be forced to retreat by Whirlwind but before he was unsummoned he dealt a devastating Critical Hit with Payback. (Crit! -134 HP, 58→44/237)

Machamp was forced out and Climmy thought it was safe for Lugia to use Rest, but he was proven wrong by Machamp’s Stone Edge scoring another Critical Hit. (Crit! -178 HP, 59→45/237) Climmy didn’t have any Pokemon that resisted Rock, but he did have one that seems to have resistance to Psychical Attacks, Forretress. Stone Edge dealt considerable damage, (-57 HP, 148→160/205) but it was low enough for Climmy to confidently ask for a useless Stealth Rock thinking Protect would be better saved for the next Pokemon. Bruno yelled to words that made him think otherwise, Dynamic Punch. (-74 HP, 86→98/205) Machamp fell to Toxic Spikes, but Dynamic Punch’s confusion meant that he could still be responsible for Forretress’s knockout.

Bruno sent out Hitmonchan, but Climmy wasn’t too worried. He felt safe guessing it didn’t know Fire Punch because Hitmonlee had Blaze Kick and Bruno’s coverage moves for each Pokemon seemed to be different types. That meant Hitmonchan probably knew Thunder and/or Ice Punch instead. Climmy risked the fifty fifty of confusion and asked for Protect. Hitmonchan charged in hitting hard, but Forretress blocked Close Combat then a Drain Punch despite his confusion. Climmy asked for a third Protect even though he expected it to fail and Forretress’s confusion finally kicked in, (-12 HP, 110/205) letting Hitmonchan batter the bug with Close Combat (-66 HP, 34→46/205) That one attack brought Forretress near his limit, but Hitmonchan was also nearing his limit and there was no way that Forretress’s confusion could last any longer. Climmy called for Protect once more and Forretress snapped out of confusion to block what would have been the finishing Drain Punch. Hitmonchan, denied the chance to take Forretress with him, couldn’t endure the passive onslaught anymore and fainted.

Bruno’s next Pokemon unnerved Climmy, Lucario, the Steel Type. Toxic Spikes failed to poison and the Sandstorm would only hurt Climmy’s Pokemon. It was probably a good idea to let Forretress faint for a free switch, but Climmy wasn’t heartless. He switched without making Forretress faint making Meganium take the devastating Close Combat instead. (-94 HP, 108→95/205) Climmy wasn’t sure if Meganium would be knocked out by the next attack before he could use Leech Seed, but they needed Leech Seed or Will-o-Wisp to endure against Lucario. Switching to Ninetales would save Meganium and Ninetales could endure two Close Combats if she managed to use Will-o-Wisp before Lucairo could unleash the second attack, but if that went wrong then it’d be back to risking Meganium again. He decided to keep Meganium in. There are some risks you just have to take. Climmy felt pure awesomeness as Meganium refused to go down (-93 HP, 2/205) and retaliated with Leech Seed, but the awesome moment died when the Sandstorm knocked out Meganium before he could be healed by Leech Seed. Climmy sent out Ninetales and asked for Will-o-Wisp. Lucairo hit with Close Combat before Ninetales could move and it would have knocked out Ninetales in two hits, (-108 HP, 90→78→100/198) but Will-o-Wisp successfully burned Lucario. Climmy suggested Rest and Lucario attacked before she could sleep, but for some reason he slammed her with Iron Tail and got lucky with a Defense Drop side effect. Climmy expected Close Combat or a Full Restore, but instead Lucario followed up with another Iron Tail and lowered Ninetales’s Defense again (-38 HP 160→148→170/198) before going down to its burn.

Hariyama returned and Climmy wasn’t risking a knockout from a potential Stone Edge so, despite common sense, he switched to Tyranitar and had an “oh crap” moment when Hariyama used a Fighting Type Move. The good news was it didn’t knockout Tyranitar. The bad news, the move used was Bulk Up and Climmy was pretty sure Hariyama’s ability was Guts, so now every other move would KO anything. Needing to buy time, Climmy called for Protect and Tyranitar blocked a Low Kick that would have been overkill. Now Climmy looked at his team to see who could take a Low Kick and it was an easy choice. Only two Pokemon weren’t heavily damaged and only one of them had a badly needed move. Lunatone was neutral to Low Kick, could use Toxic after the Full Restore, and it can’t be that heavy if it can levi- ooh... that hurt... (Power 100. Note to self: Rocks are heavy.) With Lunatone down, Tyranitar was sent out again and Climmy was bold enough to call for Toxic, but it was somehow the least risky option. A Full Restore was used and Hariyama was repoisoned. Tyranitar blocked another Low Kick with Protect before Climmy switched to a Pokemon with a double resistance, but Lugia had taken too much damage and couldn’t take any more hits. Lugia fainted and Tyranitar was resummoned then asked to use Protect again before Climmy switched to Ninetales. Amazingly, she endured the final Low Kick (-99 HP, 71→59/198) and if she was awake she would have seen Hariyama finally fall to the poison.

 **160:06** A victory against Bruno finally means something!

Bruno had nothing to say and carried the sofa back to the waiting room. Climmy, on the other hand, had plenty to say while riding the sofa. “I’ve faced you four times across two worlds and that was the first time you felt like a difficult opponent. If you weren’t so obsessed with Counter then I could easily see you as the toughest of the Elite Four... Although, your million abs do suggest you’re the toughest by far in a different way than what I meant...”


	30. Karen's Rematch

Climmy grinned at the last of the Elite Four. “Karen, did you know Will asked me if he should tell you to surrender?” Karen frowned. “That doesn’t sound like him.” Climmy snickered. “I know. Want me to show you my Vs Recorder? That’s the last thing he saw before asking.” Karen said with amusement in her voice, “No, show me in battle.”

 **160:09** Vs Karen

The last of the Elite Four sent forth Weavile against her challenger’s Meganium. Weavile started hitting hard and hitting fast with Ice Punch, (-120 HP, 93→115/213) but it wasn’t anything Meganium couldn’t handle and he was still able to infest Weavile with Leech Seed. Meganium’s job was done, but Climmy asked for Protect before switching for a bit of recovery. Weavile slammed its frozen fist into the barrier then swiped with Night Slash when Climmy switched to Forretress, but Leftovers and Leech Seed didn’t let the damage last long. Forretress started laying entry hazards and Weavile started a barrage of Low Kicks that actually dealt more damage than what Forretress was healing,* but it wasn’t enough to worry about. Climmy let Karen have false hope of lasting damage, but after a Full Restore and the final layer of entry hazards was laid Climmy suggested for Forretress to use Protect some. The extra time granted by a few Protects gave Forretress to restore full health and in the end Weavile had dealt one massive blow to Meganium but nothing in the long run to Forretress before going down.

Karen sent out her Houndoom second and what happened next was extremely predictable. Houndoom exhaled a Flamethrower, but Climmy switched to Ninetales who was immune to it. Ninetales cast Confuse Ray while Houndoom unleashed a Dark Pulse. (-69 HP, 129/198) Climmy predicted an extremely predictable second Dark Pulse and took the opportunity to speed thing up by switching to Tyranitar for Sand Stream. He’d predicted correctly and Tyranitar took a Dark Pulse without any  trouble. After the poison from Toxic Spikes and damage from Stealth Rock and Spikes Houndoom only had enough energy for one last attack, but Tyranitar blocked the Flamethrower with Protect.

Karen summoned Absol and Climmy was suspicious of a possible Fighting Type attacks, so he switched to Forretress. Instead of a Fighting attack, Absol used something that would backfire big time, Perish Song. The countdown started at Three.  Forretress used Protect to block Absol’s Night Slash. Two. Climmy switched to Tyranitar and Absol dealt minimal damage with its second Night Slash.* The countdown is at One! and Karen had to switch. She sent out Spiritomb and Climmy couldn’t help but laugh as Tyranitar’s Roar forced another switch that happened to bring back Absol who immediately fell to Spikes. Spiritomb returned and was badly battered after the second wave of entry hazards. Spiritomb cast Confuse Ray and Tyranitar Roared but failed to force a switch. Tyranitar’s confusion kicked in and before he could try again Spiritomb knocked itself out to lay a Curse. Tyranitar’s health would drain quickly until Climmy switched, but the price paid to make that happen was for from worth it.

Honchkrow was sent to battle next. Tyranitar’s damage was starting to add up, (108/232) but Climmy felt confident in Tyranitar’s bulk and took a chance. Climmy was proven right when Honchkrow’s Drill Peck barely did anything (-28 HP, 80→22/232) and the risk paid off with Tyranitar snapping out of confusion and using Toxic. Spiritomb’s Curse drained Tyranitar to the point he couldn’t take anything more, (-58 HP, 22/232) so Climmy thanked him for taking on half of Karen’s team and switched to Ninetales who, despite significant prior damage from Houndoom’s Dark Pulse, endured the incoming Drill Peck (-84 HP, 45→33/198) then used Rest to avoid fainting to the next one. Honchkrow was nearly drained of energy and Climmy switched to Lunatone to take the final Drill Peck, but what Karen ordered instead broke Climmy. “You... you ju- yu uh ah” It took a few moments for Climmy to be able to form words again. “Sucker Punch! Really! REALLY! Even if I wasn’t the ****ing infamous ****** that doesn’t ****ing attack, Ninetales. Just. Used! ****ING! REST! Did THAT look like a Pokemon that’s about to ****ing attack? Just lose so I can stop looking at someone so ****ing unworthy of the title Elite.”

Karen wordlessly tossed Umbreon’s Pokeball and despite Lunatone’s disadvantage, Climmy chose not to switch. The Pokemon step up, Lunatone with Cosmic Power and Umbreon with Curse. Lunatone set up a second Cosmic Power, but Umbreon lashed out with Payback instead. (-92 HP, 83/175) Brutal, but Climmy was sure another Cosmic Power would let Lunatone take another hit. Another Cosmic Power and another Payback were used and it was close, but Lunatone endured. (-78 HP, 5/175) Lunatone needed to heal so it used Rest to take the next Payback (-86 HP, 89/175) then Umbreon needed to heal so Karen used a Full Restore. Curse was used once again while Lunatone slept letting Umbreon reach a scary amount of attack boosts and Climmy thought he might have to risk Lunatone to guarantee victory. Lunatone woke up and tried Toxic but missed and Climmy face palmed... at Umbreon’s Sucker Punch. “You SUUUCK!” Umbreon went back to using Curse and the second Toxic worked, poisoning both Pokemon because of Umbreon’s Synchronize, but Climmy didn’t see a reason to care about Lunatone’s poison when he was going to switch out anyway. He switched to Forretress and Umbreon finally attacked again with a Payback that could only be too little too late. Forretress used Protect just because there was nothing better to do and blocked a Confuse Ray. Another Protect was tried and another Confuse Ray was blocked then Umbreon fainted. Now Climmy would get to face someone that actually deserved their title.

 **160:30** End of Easy Mode

Climmy glared at Karen as he returned Forretress. “Get out.” His first act as Champion would be replacing Karen with Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HP Changes for Forretress against Weavile were the following. Other than Night Slash to start, Low Kick was the only attack used.
> 
> (Forretress Sent Out) 205/205  
> (Night Slash, -26 HP) 179→201→205  
> (-48 HP) 157→179→191  
> (-42 HP) 149→171→183  
> (-46 HP) 137→159→171  
> (-48 HP) 123→145→157  
> (Full Restore) 179→191  
> (-48 HP)143→165→177  
> (Protect) 199→205  
> (46 HP) 159→181→193  
> (-44 HP) 149→171→183  
> (-46 HP) 137→159→171  
> (Protect) 171→193→205  
> (-46 HP) 159→181→193  
> (Protect) 193→205/205
> 
> HP Changes for Tyranitar against Absol and Spiritomb were the following. Ow means Tyranitar hurt itself in confusion.
> 
> (After Houndoom’s Dark Pulse) 206/232  
> (Night Slash, -26 HP) 180  
> (Karen Switched)  
> (Confuse Ray, Ow) 166  
> (Curse, -58 HP per Turn) 108/232
> 
> Umbreon’s Payback dealt 56 Damage to Forretress.


	31. Lance's Rematch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karen had Pokemon of Levels 62-64 and Lance has two Level 68s, two Level 72s, a Level 73 and a Level 75. My team is around Level 58. Needless to say, Lance hurt... a lot...

The Champion entered the battlefield to the cheers of everyone except the one person who felt adrenalin pump through his veins as he saw the ultimate test of Johto approach. The trainer that dwarfed the Elite Four in power and skill, the trainer that would not let him win easily, Lance. For the first time, Climmy felt nervous about an opponent.

**160:33** Vs Lance

The trainers released their first Pokemon, Meganium and Salamence. Salamence started with blowing a Flamethrower, (-124 HP, 89→119/213) but it didn’t come close to stopping Meganium from using Leech Seed. Meganium blocked the next Flamethrower with Protect and boldly took the third one (-122 HP, 27/213) and healed it off with Synthesis. (+106 HP 133→163) Protect was used again before Climmy switched to Ninetales who’s Flash Fire made her immune to the attack. Climmy then switched to Forretress to take what was aimed at Ninetales, but instead Salamence used Rest and woke up immediately with a Lum Berry. Salamence eagerly started Flamethrower again only for it to be blocked by Protect then absorbed when Climmy switched back to Ninetales. Climmy switched back to Forretress to take the hit aimed at Ninetales and he was glad that he did when Salamence’s Dragon Claw landed a Critical Hit. (Crit! -68 HP, 140→170→183/208) There was a switch to Ninetales to take Flamethower then Salamence Rested while Climmy switched back to Forretress who now could set up two layers of entry hazards. When Salamence woke up it started using Flamethrower again only to have it blocked again then absorbed when Climmy switched to Ninetales and when he switched back to Forretress Salamence was starting to Rest off the drain of Leech Seed. Two more layers were laid before Climmy repeated what he just did for the perfect timing with Rest then the final two layers were laid down.

Two more Flamethrowers were nullified by Forretress’s Protect then a switch to Ninetales then when Climmy switched to Meganium Salamence used Rest. While Salamence slept Meganium wasted a little time playing a song with Grass Whistle then Climmy switched to Lugia. Climmy had a plan, but he needed to be sure it could work, which means a possibility of stalling out power points. When Salamence woke up lashing out with Shadow Claw (-70 HP, 167→197/237) Climmy knew this would take a while. Climmy asked for ineffective Tricks while Salamence tore into Lugia and Rest when he thought Salamence would use it too. Climmy predicted two cycles of two Shadow Claws and Rest perfectly, but the third was thrown off by Salamence attacking only once before Rest. Due to Shadow Claw’s Critical Hit Ratio, Climmy decided on Rest after just one attack to be safe. After Lugia took two more Shadow Claws and recovered from them with Rest, Climmy thought it was time to switch to Lunatone. Climmy realized after switching he’d forgotten Sand Stream in his excitement and switched to Tyranitar while Salamence Rested again. The timing wasn’t right for Lunatone to return, so Climmy switched to Lugia so the Legend could wake up just in case the plan went wrong. While Climmy waited Salamence struck with Shadow Claw, showing that he’d miscounted power points, then went back to sleep. Lugia needed to heal after waking up, so the Legend got to Rest some more and Climmy got to sarcastically ask Lance about the weather in the middle of the high action challenge. Salamence exhaled a Flamethrower now that Shadow Claw was out of power points and then Climmy saw that Lugia was on the verge of waking up and switched back to Lunatone. Dragon Claw caused massive damage during the switch, (-112 HP, 63→93/175) but Lunatone could use Cosmic Power while Lance used a Full Restore. Another Dragon Claw still dealt massive damage even with Lunatone’s defense boost, (-69 HP, 54→84/175) but Lunatone easily endured to use Cosmic Power again. A third Dragon Claw brought Lunatone to the edge of consciousness, so it fell to the unconsciousness of sleep with Rest. Salamence raked at Lunatone nonstop while it slept, even when he was dangerously low on health. Climmy expected Salamence to use Rest while Lunatone was waking up so he asked for Cosmic Power. One last Dragon Claw proved that to be the wrong move. Salamence’s Rest was out of power points so he couldn’t heal off the Leech Seed and Sandstorm any longer. Climmy should have seen it coming when Lance used the Full Restore, but he realized too late. Now Lunatone was hurting badly (72/175) and Lance’s next Pokemon probably wouldn’t be one Lunatone could handle right now. The plan of six Cosmic Powers and Gravity looked like it wouldn’t happen.

The champion summoned Gyrados and there was no way Climmy was keeping Lunatone in against that behemoth, even with three Cosmic Powers. Climmy switched to Meganium to take Gyrados’s Waterfall (-34 HP, 179→166/213) then called for Leech Seed when Gyrados went for Ice Fang. (-76 HP, 90→77→105/213) Protect gave Meganium a little time to heal and an Ice Fang miss allowed Synthesis to heal instead of just counteracting an attack. (+53 HP, 173→160→188/213) Gyrados didn’t look like it stand for much longer and Climmy wasn’t sure if a Full Restore would be used, but to be safe, he asked for Grass Whistle. Climmy didn’t know what Lance was thinking he called for Dragon Dance when Gyrados was about to faint, but two thudding sounds resulted. One from Gyrados slamming into the ground and one from Climmy’s palm slamming into his face.

Charizard was sent out and Climmy expected the worst. He wasn’t sure if Ninetales could Rest off three of Charizard’s attacks, but he did think Meganium could endure one Flamethrower. He was right, (-186 HP, 6/213) but right after Leech Seed Meganium fell to the Sandstorm. Climmy summoned Lunatone and asked for Cosmic Power while Charizard swooped in with Dragon Claw. (-52 HP, 20→45/175) Lunatone was about to Rest when Charizard blasted it with Flamethrower. Climmy’s heart sank as he waited for the smoke to clear. Was it a knockout? After the Same Type Attack Boost and Charizard’s ability Blaze, a not very effective Flamethrower would be stronger than a neutral Dragon Claw. The smoke cleared just in time for Climmy to see the sapphire eyes close, not from defeat, but from sleep. Lunatone had endured and recovered with Rest. (-42 HP, 3/175) Charizard’s battle was near the end, but he blasted Lunatone with one more Flamethrower before it ended. (-42 HP, 133→137/175)

Dragonite came out next and Climmy didn’t know what was coming so he played it safe and switched to Lugia, but it started to feel like a bad choice when Dragonite’s Draco Meteor missed. Climmy asked for Whirlwind and Dragonite set up Safeguard before being switched out.

Garchomp was forced out. It was the one Pokemon Lance had that could be affected by Toxic Spikes, but Safeguard prevented the poison. If Garchomp had gotten poisoned, this would hurt a lot. Without poison, this will hurt so much more. Climmy wasn’t sure if Lugia could endure anything after taking one attack from Garchomp, but he was sure that a Dragon Type Attack was coming so he switched to Forretress. Garchomp’s attack dealt a massive amount of damage considering Forretress’s Defense and type resistance, (-65 HP, 143→155/208) but was also one offered a glimmer of hope, Outrage. Forretress used Protect against the second hit and Outrage ended, confusing Garchomp. Climmy saw zero possibility that Garchomp didn’t know Earthquake, so he switched to Lugia for Earthquake then back to Forretress for Outrage, but the switches proved to be unnecessary when Garchomp hurt itself in confusion twice. For recovery from Leftovers, Forretress used Protect again and Garchomp snapped out of confusion to unleash an Earthquake. To waste the next Earthquake Climmy switched to Lugia, and predicting Outrage again, back to Forretress. He’d guess right about Earthquake, but to his horror Garchomp used Sword Dance while he switched to Forretress. Outrage was Climmy’s only hope and now it would instantly defeat any Pokemon he had other than Forretress. To avoid Forretress getting knocked out by Earthquake, Climmy switched to Lugia then back to Forretress to avoid Lugia getting knocked out by the incoming Outrage. Forretress was slammed hard enough to make Climmy pray for a two hit Outrage (-132 HP, 76→88/208) and apparently Arceus was listening, because his wish came true. Climmy switched to Lugia and his luck held up when Garchomp hurt itself in confusion. It didn’t hurt enough to make Garchomp knock itself out, but it opened an opportunity.

Lance needed a Full Restore, so Climmy took his window of opportunity and called for Toxic. Now Garchomp would obviously use Outrage, but now it was guarantee a knockout which forced Climmy into the cruel choice of who would take one for the team. He wasn’t going to let anyone with Protect get knocked out because he’d need to buy time with that move, Will-o-Wisp or Cosmic Power might be useful against Lance’s other Pokemon, and Tyranitar’s Sandstorm had worn down Lugia a lot. Climmy apologized for not switching and felt Lugia’s pain as it fell, but he wouldn’t let it be for nothing. Climmy summoned Forretress again and asked for Protect again. The second hit was blocked, but a third was coming and Climmy had to make the choice again. He chose Will-o-Wisp over Cosmic Power and sent out Lunatone to face the fate it had avoided this challenge for so long. Forretress faced Garchomp and again and used Protect again while Garchomp tried an Earthquake. Climmy realized he’d underestimated the value of Lunatone’s Levitate and now had to take a risk. He called for Protect again and hoped that the odds of successes or Confusion would be in his favor. Garchomp snapped out of confusion to deal a finishing blow and a Pokemon fell. Toxic had taken down the monster and Protect had blocked the knockout.

Dragonite returned to battle. Climmy wasn’t sure if it was because it was the better of Lance’s two remaining Pokemon or if because of a Fire Type Move. Ninetales wouldn’t take a Draco Meteor that well, so Climmy switched to a Pokemon that only had a Fire resistance, Tyranitar. Dragointe scorched its incoming opponent with Fire Blast, but Tyranitar didn’t care. (-29 HP, 203/232) Tyranitar tried to use Toxic and Dragonite blocked it by setting up Safeguard, but Climmy wasn’t annoyed. He figured the sandstorm was enough and even if poison couldn’t speed thing up then Stealth Rock could. When Tyranitar started to Roar he was crushed by a brutal Draco Meteor, (-102 HP, 101/232) but he endured easily and forced Lance to switch to his final Pokemon.

Lance’s Final Pokemon made Climmy’s jaw drop. Altaria is way cuter and fluffier than you’d expect from someone like Lance. Tyranitar used Protect to see what Altaria would do and for some reason it used Dragon Breath.* Lance must really want Paralysis, but he wasn’t going to get it. Climmy asked for Rest and going for Paralysis started to make sense when Altaria sang Perish Song. Tyranitar slept and Altaria used Dragon Breath twice while the trainers waited for the final moment before the countdown’s end.

With the Perish Song count at one, both trainers switched Pokemon. Lance to Dragonite and Climmy to Forretress then Ninetales to absorb the predictable Fire Blast. Lance used a Full Restore, but Safeguard had fallen, which gave Ninetales an opportunity to cast Will-o-Wisp. Climmy switched back to Forretress as Dragonite summoned the rain of Draco Meteor. (-69 HP, 85→98/208) Forretress used Protect for Fire Blast before Climmy switched back to Ninetales to absorb the next one and when Climmy asked for Roar, Dragonite blasted Ninetales with the raw power of Hyper Beam. (-56 HP, 119→107/201) As Dragonite was unsummoned Climmy thought that would be Dragonite’s final attack of the challenge, and even he had to admit that was an awesome final move. Futile, but awesome. Even if you’re a pacifist, you can’t not love Hyper Beam.

Altaria returned and sang Perish Song while Ninetales’s Roar failed to force a switch. Even though it’d be switching out soon anyway, Altaria used Double Team. Ninetales’s second roar made Altaria retreat sooner than expected, forcing the return of Dragonite who managed to endure through Stealth Rock only to fall to the Sandstorm before anyone could do anything. With Dragonite down Lance had to resummon Altaria even though it couldn’t endure any more from Stealth Rock. Lance turned on his microphone and declared, “I give to you, the champion of Johto and Kanto, Climmy!”

**161:22** The True Champion

* * *

Levels going in were 56 for Ninetales and Tyranitar and 57 for everyone else.

 

**Meganium - Level 58 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Leech Seed  
Protect  
Grass Whistle  
Synthesis

Leech Seed, always good. I didn’t find out until after Round 2, but The Elite Four still only have two Full Restores instead of the four I expected. One gets wasted on their lead while Forretress sets up entry Hazards and the other is saved for their last Pokemon. That means that Leech Seed not only give Forretress enough time for every layer of entry hazard, but also pretty much makes it so opponents have one less Full Restore.

**Forretress - Level 59 - Calm (+SpD -Atk)**  
Toxic Spikes  
Stealth Rock  
Spikes  
Protect

With a move set like this do you even care about “offensive” moves like Swagger? This isn’t relevant because Sticky Web doesn’t exist until X and Y, but it’s kind of a bummer that Forretress doesn’t learn Stick Web so you can’t go all in with entry hazards. :P

**Ninetales - Level 58 - Jolly (+Spe -Atk)**  
Will-o-Wisp  
Confuse Ray  
Roar  
Rest

At this point I think I should farm Chesto Berries for Ninetales. Without Rest she faints, but with Rest she does nothing after healing. That said, Will-o-Wisp and Flash Fire make her worth using even with low bulk.

**Lugia - Level 58 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Whirlwind  
Toxic  
Rest  
Trick

Pressure is so good when you want to stall PP and with the bulkiest Pokemon in the game, stalling is really easy. Lugia is worth it even with just Whirlwind for “offense.” Tanks with any form of recovery are just that good because you will be stalling.

**Tyranitar - Level 58 - Bold (+Def -Atk)**  
Toxic  
Roar  
Protect  
Rest

Imagine the weather wars of Gen V except you’re the only one with weather. Think that’s good? Now imagine having a second Lugia. That’s not an exaggeration of Tyranitar’s bulk after Sand Stream. Even when you’re not using its Base 134 Attack, saying that Tyranitar is good is an understatement.

***Shiny Lunatone* - Level 58 - Jolly (+Spe -SpA)**  
Toxic  
Cosmic Power  
Gravity  
Rest

I was hoping I’d be able to get to +6 Defenses then use Gravity right before KOs... Lunatone needs to use Cosmic Power to be able to take hits, but it’s Shiny, so who cares if it’s useful or not. (Side note: I will use Gravity and the 48 BP I spent on it will be worth it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took six tries to win against Lance.
> 
>  
> 
> Salamence’s Dragon Claw did the following amounts of Damage against Lunatone after two Cosmic Powers.
> 
> (+2 Cosmic Power) 84/175  
> (-55 HP) 29→Rest→175  
> (-51 HP) 124→154  
> (-58 HP) 96→126  
> (-54 HP) 72/175 (No Leech Seed because Sandstorm KOed)
> 
> For those wondering, Altaria's Dragon Breaths dealt 37 Damage to Tyranitar both times which lowered his HP from 232 to 195 then 158.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recorded the challenge against Red and you can view it here: <https://youtu.be/H5RC_6WY1Y0>

On Route 12 a Snorlax woke up to the sound of a Pokeflute. He was about to attack whatever woke him up when he saw a strange awe inspiring bird Pokemon tower over him. On second thought, maybe he shouldn’t attack. A trainer yelled “Trick!” and before Snorlax knew it, his Leftovers were gone. Okay, now they’re going to pay! Snorlax used Block and the trainer yelled something else. “Whirlwind!” Snorlax smacked against the rocks at sea, but he wasn’t mad for long. There were so many berries floating around! One of them was attached to something that pulled him back to land where he came face to face with a different confused looking trainer. “Ya’ ain’t no fish!”

As Champion, Climmy had to be there whenever there was a challenger was scheduled to face the Elite Four, but nothing said he had to live there. He liked helping Professor Elm, so he decided to stay in the professor’s guest room. Besides, living far away from work isn’t a problem when you have an Abra to Teleport you to work, or Route 12, which Climmy had just visited and would come back to whenever Snorlax did. So he wouldn’t feel bad for using Abra as a tool instead of treating it like the living thing it was, Climmy played with it along with his other Pokemon on his off time. Abra’s favorite game was Fetch! Despite his schedule, there was plenty of time for training. While waiting for opponents to face him, not that many made it that far with the previous Champion replacing Karen, Climmy and his Pokemon spent a lot of their time in Bruno’s workout room. On the rare days off, they usually challenged the Elite Four.

The morning after his second training round against the Elite Four, Climmy hiked through Route 29 again while thinking how annoying it was that there weren’t any Pokemon Centers, where he could use the PC to withdraw Abra for Teleporting back to Indigo Plateau, in New Bark Town. It’s nice to see the scenery, but Pokemon Trainers get to enjoy the scenery all the time. What really made it annoying was there’s nothing he’d want to catch... Oh. OH! Except that. Climmy hurled a Love Ball at a cute Pokemon that many would envy.

 **169:22** Shiny Sentret! That’s the third Shiny in just one playthrough! (Yes, I’m counting the Gyrados.)

After a few months Climmy started feeling like being the strongest was a curse. Few trainers made it past Lance and the few that won barely won. It didn’t help that he stole Without any challenges that were difficult to win being a trainer just felt like an empty experience. Training was just a routine when there was no one else to overcome. One lunch Lance told him, “I know how you feel. It’s why the champion before me left.” Climmy interrupted, “The last champion left? You can do that?” Lance nodded and Climmy said he wasn’t ready for that yet and asked, “Who was the last champion and where’d he go?” Lance recalled, “Red. He left for Mt. Silver and from what I can tell he’s been there even since.” A spark of passion flickered within Climmy. “Mt. Silver? Where’s that?” Lance wasn’t sure how Climmy had missed the guard at Victory Road’s entrance blocking the way to Mt. Silver, but Climmy’s response to the directions clarified how. “Huh... I just ignored the blocked off paths. I kind of assumed that hall lead to a janitor’s closet.”

The next day off Climmy climbed through Mt. Silver.

 

It was a rare day where the endless blizzard on top of Mt. Silver was just a light flurry, like diamond dust from the heavens, when Red heard footsteps crunching through the snow. A challenger introduced himself, “Hi, I’m Climmy. You’re Red, right? If not I’ve climbed this mountain for nothing! ...Meh, it’d be worth it anyway. Anyway, have you ever wondered what versions of yourself from alternate universes are like?” Red pondered that interesting thought. Climmy wanted for a response, but when he remembered what Blue had said about how much Red talked, he continued, “Wouldn’t it be interesting to face, oh I don’t know... a pacifist version of yourself?” Red looked at the challenger quizzically and his eyes widened as he noticed the similarities between them. Climmy laughed. “We may be the same person, but fate has made us very different people.” Climmy tossed Meganium’s Pokeball and asked, “Do you want to see how different we are?”

 

 **225:48** Vs Red

 

Red started with a Pikachu holding a Light Ball against Meganium. Pikachu slammed its Iron Tail into Meganium and Meganium started the challenge with Leech Seed. Another Iron Tail hit hard, but Grass Whistle made it so Pikachu wouldn’t be attacking for a while. Climmy asked for Synthesis to restore Meganium to full health before switching to Forretress. Climmy started asking for entry hazards, but unlike usual, he asked for only one layer of Toxic Spikes before moving on to Stealth Tock. The first layer of Spikes was being lain when Red used a Full Restore to heal and wake up Pikachu. Pikachu blasted Forretress with a Thunderbolt that dealt about half of what he could take, but the recovery from Leech Seed and Leftovers let him heal a lot of the damage by using Protect afterward. Alternating between Spikes and Protect let Forretress lay the five asked for layers down and Climmy thanked Forretress before switching to Tyranitar. Pikachu’s Thunderbolt dealt a surprising amount of damage to Tyranitar, but using Protect let him heal a lot of it while watching Pikachu’s fight finally end.

Red released Blastoise into battle and Climmy switched to Lunatone while Blastoise blasted with Focus Blast. Climmy didn’t want to risk Lunatone getting knocked out yet so he switched back to Tyranitar and while he switched, Blastoise shot a Flash Cannon that dealt somewhat disappointing damage for a super effective move. Tyranitar used Protect to block Focus Blast, but with Blastoise’s ability Torrent now active, Climmy wasn’t sure if it would keep on trying for Focus Blast or a devastating Water Type attack. His plan needed Lunatone for the next Pokemon, so Climmy asked for Protect again. Blastoise fired Hydro Cannon and Climmy was thankful he didn’t switch to Lunatone... and that Protect blocked it. Tyranitar still stood, but the same could not be said for Blastoise.

Lapras was sent in next and Climmy felt a pang of guilt at switching Lunatone in, even though they had agreed on the plan to establish Climmy as the greater version of Red. Lapras used Brine during the switch then Lunatone used Gravity before being knocked out by the follow up Brine. Climmy summoned Meganium and asked for Protect to block a Blizzard then Lapras fell to the passive onslaught.

Red summoned Charizard for an easy one hit knockout with a Blast Burn. It seemed like massive overkill, but Meganium ate an Occa Berry to nullify his weakness to Fire. Even with a removed weakness, Blast Burn still had the power of a Hyper Beam amplified by Charizard’s ability Blaze. Meganium had trouble standing after Charizard’s wrath, but he still endured the most devastating attack Climmy had ever seen and his epicness continued as he used Leech Seed to achieve the pacifist’s equivalent of a one hit knockout. Stealth Rock against a double weakness, Spikes that couldn’t be flown over because of Gravity, one layer of Toxic Spikes, Tyranitar’s Sand Stream, and the finishing touch of Leech Seed sounded like overkill, but it was just enough to end Charizard’s fight as soon as it began.

When what just happened sunk in, Red sent out Venusaur. Climmy asked for Protect and Meganium used its final move of the challenge. Meganium hadn’t fallen yet, but Climmy wouldn’t let his Pokemon faint when there was no reason. He switched to Forretress who didn’t notice a Sludge Bomb during the switch and barely noticed any of the Giga Drains. Climmy wasn’t sure if it had anything to do with being put to sleep by Sleep Powder, but Forretress probably would have noticed just as much if he was awake. When Venusaur was close to its limit it made the mistake of using Frenzy Plant, which gave Climmy a free chance to switch to Ninetales. Red then made the mistake of using a Full Restore which gave Ninetales the chance to speed things up with Will-o-Wisp. Climmy could switch back to Forretress to avoid any risk, but instead he asked for Confuse Ray. Ninetales obeyed and it made Venusaur hurt itself. Climmy knew he was pressing his luck when he asked for Roar, but the worst that could happen would be Sleep Powder. The best that could happen happened instead. Venusaur’s confusion kicked in again and Ninetales forced a switch with Roar.

Snorlax entered the battlefield and Ninetales greeted him with a Will-o-Wisp, which weakened his starting move of Crunch. Climmy had a feeling he should waste a little more time before asking for Roar, but he ignored it. Snorlax somehow missed with Giga Impact, but Ninetales had no trouble making Roar work. Venusaur was forced out and it couldn’t handle the entry hazards combined with the Sandstorm and its burn, so Snorlax had to be resummoned immediately. Spikes and Stealth Rock drove Snorlax to the edge of defeat, but he endured and Red used a Full Restore. It was a bit embarrassing for that to happen after showing off with Charizard, but there were worse mistakes he could have made. Climmy shrugged off his mistake and switched to Forretress before browsing the internet for a long time. He grew annoyed when Red used another Full Restore, but eventually, Climmy heard the massive thud of Snorlax collapsing.

 

 **226:11** Pokemon Soul Silver: Status Moves Only - Complete Victory

 

Red nodded, accepting his loss, and held out his hand. Climmy shook it and said, “If you ever want a rematch, you know where to find me. Oh, and I don’t have very many copies of this game because it doesn’t exist in this world, but please take this.” Climmy tried to hand over Undertale, but the air between the trainers tore apart and in a flash the silent one was gone. The pacifist stared for several long moments before snapping out of his shocked trance to yell at whoever might be listening, “Palkia? Dialga? Arceus? I think you got the wrong Climmy! ...Hello?”

 

* * *

 

**Epilogue**

 

Champion Climmy couldn’t believe what he received in the mail. Apparently, some Team Rocket idiots were trying to press charges against him and sue for trauma. They even had a list of crimes they wanted to charge him long enough to make him take it somewhat seriously.

 

Assisting Assault: Kurt was going to attack with or without me. I just made it so no one got hurt.  
  
Arson: Wait, what? ...Are they trying to call the plank I gave Kurt arson? That’s stretching it.  
  
Trespassing: Technically, weren’t they the ones trespassing in their base? They hostilely took over that souvenir shop?  
  
Blackmail: I think I saw the letter left behind and I don’t think it’s waterproof.  
  
Malicious Destruction of Property: Even if it wasn’t Lance, the river was there when I got there.  
  
Vigilantism: I’m pretty sure Goldenrod City is willing to look the other way after I freed them.  
  
Terrorism: Does is still count as terrorism when you’re terrorizing terrorists to kick them out of a city they took over?  
  
Underage Enlistment: Okay, most of the contacts list is too young for joining an army, but just because I called it an army doesn’t mean it was legally an army. Seriously, it was more like an angry mob.  
  
Harassment: That’s just petty, but they may have a case there.  
  
Disturbing the Peace: They have a case if the judge is willing to bother charging me with it.  
  
Enticing a Rally: Okay, now this might be a problem...

Grand Larceny: Grand Larceny? Hang on, I “borrowed” two hundred shirts and at ~~P~~ 2000 each... Oh crap. The T-shirts alone make it Grand. Looks like time for a vacation until the lawyers can sort things out.

The Champion decided to retaliate in a way that may have been out of style for a few centuries but felt suitable from someone with a title that was treated like royalty. He rolled out a piece of papyrus parchment, readied one of Lugia’s shed feathers, but paused before dipping it into an inkwell. It felt right, but something was missing... Maybe he’d ask Koga if Skuntank could add something to the ink.  
  


  
Deer Team Rock Boiz,

 

You may expect me too mock you, and as you can tell buy the grammar and choice of ink, you’d be write, but let me point out why your idiots.

1st of all, why due you think you wood be able to step into a court room without being arrested? Secondly, by sewing me, you’ve agreed two be in the same room as sum won you believe is an terrorist. It may be a court room, but sense when do terrorist care about that? Bravo my not-sew-good sirs. You have a very hi amount of wisdom. Finally, i may be an evil master mind, and the hero mae always win, but let me remind you. Who were the bad guys again?

With all dew respect, witch is none, screw you.

 

Yo boi,  
Clim-may!  
A.K.A. The pacifist on the warpath

P.S. I have a reel good lawyer and he accepts payments in the forum of legally discontinued collectors’ T-shirts. Good thing I found a lot in you’re bass.

 


End file.
